Signed off with HG/anxiety in pregnancy

[saralogan234]

Not really an AIBU, sorry. I just need as many opinions as possible as I'm really worried.

As my title says I've been signed off from work with HG and anxiety and I am 22 weeks pregnant now (very happily - although admittedly it's harder than I thought!).

When I called my manager, as per the sickness policy at work, they were, to be frank, really unkind. Admittedly I am a very anxious person and quite sensitive but to be told they were "disappointed in me" and then to be informed another member of staff had said I basically am not very good at my job, whilst I was crying on the phone and very apologetic for the inconvenience caused, I thought was quite rubbish.

So, I've had my time off and been back to the doctors and to my surprise, he's signed me off again as whilst in there I had a bit of an anxiety attack when I started to discuss work. I'm really relieved to not have to go back just yet but very, very scared to have to make that call again.

Would it be fair to call HR instead of my manager or would I be in breach as the policy states it must be the line manager?

And also, I can't shake the feeling that I am somehow going to be punished for this. Can anyone reassure me that I am not going to lose my job?

I actually really do like my job, it's just between the sickness and the anxiety attacks I physically and mentally cannot do it right now. I just want to be calm and keep my baby safe but I don't want to lose my job as I really need the money.

I was signed off with HG.
They should separate any performance issues they may or may not have from this.
Is there anyone who can advocate for you. If you give them permission to speak to someone on your behalf while you focus on keeping well.
That person should note every single conversation.
Please focus on you and baby HG is ghastly and few people really get it

By get it I mean understand its impact

HG is tough on your body and on your mind. At my worst with HG I was very very low.

Your manager sounds rubbish. I would phone HR and explain the situation - basically your manager's attitude is exacerbating your anxiety - and actually ask them for advice re how to formally report in sick.

Either that or go and see your manager and the colleague who doesn't understand what being off sick is and throw up all over them

Seriously now you shouldn't have to apologise for being ill

To be fair, I haven't had any performance issues. I have made one silly mistake and I'm not even sure that was down to sickness or just me being silly. It was human error and luckily I sorted it and apologised profusely and no damage was done...

But I do see what you're saying. My manager has said several times "well it's only morning sickness why don't you come in a bit later" .... believe me, I wish it was just the mornings!!

Are you able to email your manager? You could send a factual email, with no waffle or apology.
If not I would call HR and outright ask if it's okay to go through them. The policy probably says something like 'if possible' because there are situations where someone signed off would be unable to have a conversation with the manager because of whatever is wrong with them.
I am signed off as well up to mat leave. I was really anxious that my boss would try something underhand because he's a bit of a shit but he hasn't.

YANBU at all! HG is horrific. Had it with both my pregnancies and didn’t work for almost 6 months of either of them. Luckily my employer was great and any absence due to pregnancy related illness cannot be counted. Rest up and try not to worry

YANBU. I had HG and it is horrific. Legally they arent allowed to count pregnancy sickness towards normal sickness. You cannot be disciplined for it. Make sure your notes say HG.

I wouls speak to HR and ask for advice. I would say I only properly worked 6-8 weeks during my pregnancy.

Your are not alone and you have my sympathy, it sucks so bad.

Another one saying email in

I would just keep it simple and say the doctors have reviewed me today and signed me off till x date. I will arrange for the sick note to be handed in (or something).

Then get in touch with HR and report your manager for saying they are disappointed - you can't control your health for goodness sake!!

Plus pregnancy related sickness should not go on your standard sick record. You can't be discriminated for being pregnant.

However if there are performance issues (or they are saying there are!) then o would gather evidence together, any 1:1 documentation, annual reviews etc to show it hasn't been communicated to you before. The one mistake you mention shouldn't have any bearing

Check whether your policy allows email. If not; definitely call HR.

There is an HG support thread on here. I had hoped after Kate Middleton people would understand it.
One of my DD's teachers had it. One of her colleagues was pregnant at the same time and didn't. I remember her privately complaining to me that no one really understood the difference between HG and morning sickness and just thought it was about how you cope with "a bit of nausea ". This was in 2017. Just appalling. She said no one had ever had it.
I told her "you , me and Kate Middleton . They've heard of all three of us".

Thank you all very much, I will contact my HR dept tomorrow.

I think I'll also mention about the way they speak to people being signed off. I am lucky as I have people around me who put the conversation into perspective but being told you're a disappointment could top some people with anxiety over the edge!