Behaviour of adults at Nativity play

[Lydiaatthebarre]

Headmistress stood up at start of play and asked that young children be brought outside if they became disruptive to the children on stage. She also said no videoing or photographing during the performance. A school video would be made and sold for £2 which would go towards play equipment, and parents could take a group photograph at the end of the play.

We still had toddlers running around and making noise, parents standing up and blocking people's views while they took photographs, not to mention the mother who answered her phone during the play.

Yes, I know it's not the RSC, but why can a bunch of adults not do as they're asked for 20-30 minutes?

Don't get me started on seat saving!

At my dd's primary school they gave out seat numbers for several years of shows. It worked really well and meant you didn't have to stand outside in the cold for hours queuing in order to get a decent seat.

There's usually a very good reason why parents aren't allowed to photograph or film at school events. More often than not it's a child protection issue. I used to work at a school where a child had been adopted and the birth parents were not allowed to know where they were. The other parents knew this (village school where everyone knew everyone else's business) and yet still had to be asked constantly not to take photographs or film, and would huff and puff about it. Sometimes even blatantly ignore it and carry on!

Schools aren't being awkward, they are trying to ensure the safety of a pupil. Why parents can't get this through their thick skulls is a mystery?

Two people believed that the memo about pre-schoolers not being allowed at the evening performance didn't apply to their little shits darlings. Sat their and did nothing as the performance was screeched and wailed over while packs of biscuits got trodden into the floor.
Really pissed me off.

Grim - you sound like me! My SIL wanted to take her child into an Adults Only restaurant in the Far East because she was asleep. When the place said it was Adult Only she wanted to go around to the various tables (it wasn't a big place and very upmarket!) asking whether they would mind.

Some people really don't get it.

I got kicked in the head at this year’s school Christmas concert . The child behind me spent the entire concert trying to climb over my shoulders into our seats, kicking the back of my chair, and shrieking and sneezing loudly into my ear. Her parents were the most limp lettuces I’ve ever encountered and just occasionally bleated “Lottiiieeeeeeee.....don’t doooo thaaaaaaat.” Culminating in a kick to the back of my head when she (predictably) fell off the back of my chair.

Her parents had obviously ignored the request not to bring younger siblings. Shame for the shyer children who were performing in their first concert.

At my DC school, the headmistress tells off the parents who don't behave at the nativity, school play, assembly etc.

Still recording when asked not to really annoys me. I do not want anything on social media that identifies where my children go to school. For their own safety. Some people are so bloody inconsiderate!

I don't agree with pre-schoolers not being allowed at all. It's a school FFS, of course there will be younger siblings and it discriminates against single parents. But kids should be taken outside the room if they are noisy.

I took DD2 to watch DD1 when DD1 was 4 and DD2 was about ten months old. She sat happily on my knee, absolutely enraptured by seeing her big sis on stage.

Yanbu.
Seat saving is also a pain. I see people queuing up 30 minutes before the doors open! Mad.

Had the same yesterday - parents in front just standing up waving and gesticulating to make sure their DC spotted them and then standing to photograph / film, regardless of people behind them. I managed to catch a glimpse of DS2, but I saw him looking round for me even on the way out of the hall and he said later he couldn't see me.

We also had disruptive toddlers - most were not too bad, but one started having a tantrum when told she couldn't go up to her brother (performing on stage). Eventually the Mum reluctantly said she would take her outside, but never actual did. Some low level noise is to be expected when younger DCs attend, but consideration for the children who have worked hard on their performance and adults who would like to watch without the accompanying toddler screeching is distinctly lacking these days.

My DCs old primary school were very strict and it was great, no filming, no answering phones, no clapping/whooping/cheering unless appropriate - the headteacher used to patrol at the back of the hall and if she saw someone filming /taking pics she used to have a quiet word. unfortunately it would appear there are some parents who think their own view / dcs trumps the enjoyment of every one.

Why does it discriminate against single parents? Do they not have friends, relatives, neighbours, babysitters? No one at all because you are a single parent?

In my experience (not as a single parent myself) the people who might babysit for you are other parents who are also attending the play, or grandparents who want to come along.

Because they're entitled twats. I can't get too worked up over babies/toddlers being there; even though it's beyond selfish but..

Filming/taking pictures to plaster over SM (which we all know is going to happen) actually puts some children and their families in danger. Parents will be well aware of this but (since it doesn't personally put them at risk) they give no shits.

Your right to take a picture of little Jimmy dressed in a sheet with a tea-towel on his head will never trump the safety of a child who is under a protection order or whose family have fled DV.

Last year we had one prat not only filming little Freddie picking his nose through Away in a Manger in extreme close up mode (not actually filming the play - just Freddie sitting there for 20 minutes inspecting the contents of his nose) but they were filming it on FOUR fucking camera phones.

Thankfully the current year group (Freddie's still safely confined in the Foundation Stage) parents are a bit more sensible. Head requests small restless siblings are removed and that we don't put photos or video on social media and generally it works OK.

DD had her play at Nursery today.

We were told we could film/take photos, but if we put it on social media without the permission of the parents of any other children in the photo/video then our DCs Nursery place would be suspended immediately. There's an email address that you can email anonymously if you find a parent has posted it online and the Nursery investigate and take action. It's happened in previous years where a childs lost their Nursery place due to parents posting on SM.

The nursery do post photos on their own Facebook page but several children have their faces blanked out so assume they're not allowed to be on there.

I have posted one photo of MiniLady and her two best friends but I know both mums and we have an agreement that we can post stuff on Facebook with each others children in as long as we tag each other so I know Mini's place is safe.

Sometimes I think as a parent you just need to accept that you cannot please everyone all of the time. Parents evenings that start at 5.30 - some parents don't get home until 1800 onwards.

With regard to insisting that you must bring the whole family, grandparents and all and by default the toddler who will get bored, kick off etc. I honestly think anyone who believes this is very entitled and not considering others.

My DS recently graduated. There was a firm two ticket rule. The invite stated that only well behaved children were allowed and they were to sit at the back. Realistically it wasn't ever going to be a toddler fest but my DM would LOVE to have gone. She is in her 80's. I asked but there just wasn't enough room. I accepted that. Why do some people think that because of their wants they trump everyone elses?

The vicar , who was directly in front of me at the last nativity play, first sat his biting(! Yes, she'd bitten her mother, who'd screamed, no she doesn't have SN)child on his shoulders and then stood up

This is exactly why I grew to dread the annual nativity play. Not so much my DD's (who's now 35) as camera phones weren't around in the late 80s (although there was still the issue of noisy toddlers) but more when my DGD,now 12,and thankfully past all that now she's at secondary school,was little. I got fed up to the back teeth with parents parking themselves in front of me so that they could take numerous photos and videos,despite being asked not to before the performance. What annoyed me even more was the fact that not one of the teachers present challenged them about it! probably scared of getting a mouthful of abuse

The chatting and allowing toddlers and babies to scream through the performance and blocking other people's view to film is annoying as others have said.

We used to allow parents to come and photograph their own child in costume, in groups e.g. all the angels, all the shepherds and so on, but there would still be some who would take their child across the hall to photograph or to kiss granny while the audience is still milling about not realising how difficult this is for the staff who are trying to ensure the welfare and safety of all the children. They say 'Well it's my child' but how are staff to know whether the child is with a parent or wandered off or been taken. This can also happen at Sports Days and I ended up being quite strict about it - for the safety of ALL the children.

I've spent 20 years working with parents and young children. I'm about to go do something else and I couldn't be happier about it and this thread had reminded me why! The selfish, entitled twerps who have no shame and think the rules don't apply to them always spoil it for everyone else

What annoyed me even more was the fact that not one of the teachers present challenged them about it! They were probably well aware and seething but concentrating on directing the children in the play by maintaining eye contact and giving encouraging nods. I have been in that situation myself but it's a toss up between intervening and disrupting the play completely or letting it go.

We're allowed to film and photograph, just not put on SM, I purposefully stood at the back so I could video for dgms. Everyone at ours was great and considerate, although the same can't be said for harvest festival - screaming child not taken out so couldn't hear singing despite being in the front.

There are rude people all over, in every situation unfortunately

I saw someone challenge someone in front of them many years at a play. A big overweight man who when he stood up really did block the people behind. The women behind him tapped him on the shoulder and told him she couldn't see. He just ignored her. When she asked him again he said he needed to stand because he wanted to see his child and take photos. They were only young once etc. The women lost her nerve and didn't continue but I think this sort of behaviour is rife and at every school play there is always one.

I am here to see MY child, she wont ever be Mary again in the school play and this is my chance to film it, wave etc. In fact let me bring all the family, granny, Aunt Dot. Stuff everyone else. This is MY time.

Some people think what they want (a photo of their child) outweighs the experience of the rest of the audience. Those people are tw4ts.

Terrible behaviour. The head should have stopped the play and reiterated the points.