To gift or not to gift?

[SomeBigBaubles]

I don't want to be that 'weird friend'. And I find it hard to judge social etiquette sometimes

You guys are great with knowing this sorta stuff.

I have a friend (saw her twice a year) she's a former workmate, was more of an aquaintance but recently we see each other more now - she had a baby girl in Feb and I've seen her lots more as she's on maternity leave, it's been lovely seeing her & baby. Prob twice a month on average.

Now we've never done birthday/Xmas gifts or anything - but I did buy a gift when the baby was born and gave her a bottle of wine.

I'm seeing her at the weekend - my question is, is it weird if I buy the baby a Xmas gift, but not her or her DH? Or is it weird for an aquaintace/not very close friend to buy a gift for the baby?

I keep overthinking it. Help! Also full disclosure I'm having trouble TTC for the last 18 months which she knows so I didn't know if this added extra weirdness, like I was buying a present for her baby because I didn't gave one, sorta thing. Obviously not the case. Oh godness, please tell me I'm over thinking it!

It's not weird its lovely. Maybe a keepsake like a' my first Xmas ' item

Way over thinking it- normal to buy a present for a child- wouldn’t suddenly start buying for the adults though. Me and my friends don’t do presents with each other but my close friends do buy for my DD.

If you want to buy one, do so! The thing is, once you start doing xmas gifts you might feel you need to each year.

Thank you! Great. Not having kids yet I wasn't sure if it was okay to buy for kids but not the parents...I'd hate to make a social idiot of myself.

Lots of my friends only buy presents for the kids.

I think it's perfectly fine. I met one of my best friends when we were both pregnant, we buy gifts for each others dc but not each other. Ds was born just before Christmas and we got loads of stuff for him, some of it from friends of my dad and dp's parents that we have literally never met! "X at work heard that you had had the baby so sent this for you" type of thing, very sweet and generous. Buying for friends dc first Christmas isa nice gesture.

@caffelatte100 and then birthdays too! I did think that...but I don't mind, it's lovely to have a baby in my social circle to buy for!

I think a present for the baby is a lovely idea for their 1st Christmas and I very much doubt they would expect a gift for themselves.
It then puts them in the situation though, do they then buy you a gift, I know you won't even expect one, but I'm a massive over thinker at times and was never sure if the person didn't have kids, do I then buy for them !!!! Oohh why do we massively overthink these things

@bourbonbiccy exactly!! So many levels of potential complications!! I know, in the scheme of things this is clearly not something to worry about but I can't help it!

Yup totally normal to buy an Xmas gift for baby. I have a baby and a few people have already given small gifts for her , nothing for me but that’s as expected. I wouldn’t buy for the adults x

Why not get a small gift for baby and say to her 'I know we don't usually do gifts for one another, but I saw this item and thought it would be lovely for baby's first Christmas.' that way you have outlined you dont do presents for each other and you haven't set up an expectation to buy something every year for baby, only that this is to celebrate their first. Maybe a stocking with initial or name on it, with a little gift inside. That way if u do decide to buy in future Christmases you an say you are getting a little something for their stocking.

@wednesday32 that's such a lovely idea, thank you. :)

Thank goodness for this forum. Sanity saved.

Yes, that's perfect Wednesday!

I would get something but probably say I know we don't normally but am as it's baby's first Christmas (then your not commuting to spin it annually either!)