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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want to stay with this relative over the Christmas season

9 replies

Lydiaatthebarre · 13/12/2018 11:17

I'm coming under pressure to stay with a relative and her family for a few days over Christmas. Invitation comes up every year and for the last few years I've made excuses because their house is absolutely freezing and it's just miserable staying there.
No matter how cold the weather is they never ever put any heating on during the day. It's an old and very draughty house in the middle of the country so it gets extremely cold at this time of year. They switch the heating on at about 6 in the evening and, a couple of hours later when the house is just starting to feel less cold, they switch it off again.
It's not a money issue. They both have good jobs, go on nice holidays, have decent cars etc. They just don't seem to feel the cold. To add to the problem they often leave the back door open so that their two dogs can wander in and out.

They sounded a bit hurt when I made excuses again this year and I feel a bit guilty. AIBU not to go?

OP posts:
Lydiaatthebarre · 13/12/2018 11:18

To clarify, I'm not expected to go there for Christmas day, but for a few nights between Christmas and New Year.

OP posts:
nonamesareavailable · 13/12/2018 11:19

Just say no. Sounds miserable. Could you compromise and go to visit for a few hours?!

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 13/12/2018 11:22

Are you my relative, who has her house so uncomfortably hot, that we have to have the windows open to sleep at night Grin

Can’t you go and stay nearby, or ask if they could put the heating on a bit longer? If they knew the issue they might offer solutions.

Chamomileteaplease · 13/12/2018 11:22

If their house was warm would you want to go? I mean, do you enjoy their company?

Just wondering if it is worth telling the truth.

krustykittens · 13/12/2018 11:26

Say no, but make definite plans in the New Year to visit so they don't feel rejected. Just wait until it is warmer! Also, I don't think it is unreasonable for people to want to spend Christmas in their own home, doing their own thing, would they be very offended if you said that to them?

Ohyesiam · 13/12/2018 11:27

I’m spending Christmas Day with sil , wevall her house cold comfort farm. I’ve bought s wool dress from Hush, have wool tights and a huge cashmere cardigan that I will not take off! My dh is a rugby player build who seldom gets cold, so only has light cotton jumpers, and he’s been known to don his dressing gown on Christmas afternoon. Sil looked st him vaguely and muttered “ oh the heating comes on at 6”.

You have my sympathy op.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 13/12/2018 11:28

Even if I desperately wanted to visit someone id be reluctant to if I knew it would be that cold tbh.Could they come to you?

Lydiaatthebarre · 13/12/2018 11:37

A visit of a few hours isn't really possible as they live some distance away. The can't come to stay with me as they have quite a few animals that need tending.

I think I will suggest that I stay for a few days during the Summer (and hope we have a really hot one in 2019).

OP posts:
EmUntitled · 13/12/2018 11:53

Say to them that last time the bedroom was a bit cold and would they mind if you bring a portable radiator with you?

Wear an extra jumper and thermals during the day.

If the cold is the only issue there must be a way around it. If you dont really want to go anyway, don't go.

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