A nice letter before anyone thinks it's a complaint it's not.
So DS is 15 and is autistic with ADHD as a side order, he attends a special school which has been an amazing placement for him over the past three years.
Over the past six months he has had a massive change in behaviour. This has been increasingly isolating himself from his peers, more meltdown, plus massive anxiety and panic attacks. School have been beyond amazing in supporting him and also us during this. He's just (this week) been taken on by CAMHS for some work so hoping this will help him
My big issue is that two weeks ago he blew up in a lesson and told the teacher to f**k off before storming from the classroom. 
. A teaching assistant went after him and got the same treatment.
Tbh I was floored as DS has never ever behaved like this. He's always been a quiet but active pupil.
School dealt with the incident and called me to let he know what had happened.
So spoke with DS when he got home. He said the teacher shouted at him (which I don't believe as they just don't do that at his school). I told him that I didn't care if she was the most unreasonable woman in the world...you don't speak to people in this way EVER. Because he is autistic we got him to think about how he might have made this teacher feel when he said what he did. I asked him if he would feel happy of someone spoke to me like that and he said no. Reminded him that this teacher was probably also someone's Mum. It takes DS a while to process stuff but he agreed that he needed to apologise to the teacher and the TA.
He apologised to the TA the very next day. In fact the TA told me that DS came straight to find him and apologise which was good. The problem is that the teacher only works very part time so DS didn't see her again until yesterday by which point he was anxious to the point of a panic attack. He was sobbing and clinging to me at the school because he was worrying. He barely slept the night before which didn't help.
The teacher was actually great about it all and I managed to have a quick chat with her while DS was clinging to me. She has very generously said that just one word on a post it note would be fine. DS has done this and I have suggested we put it in a Christmas card for her.
So if you've read this far...thank you.
Do I need/should I write a letter letting her know what steps we took about the incident of DS swearing or should I just leave it.
If it matters I am autistic too so I don't always get things right. But I don't want her to think we've raised DS to behave like this...we haven't.
I think he scared himself with his massive overreaction that day and I don't think there will ever be a repeat. In fact I am as sure as can be that he won't ever do this again.
So WIBU to include a letter to her or not? I've partially written the letter already.
My niece (also a teacher) says comments like this are like "water off a ducks back" but I am bothered and upset by what DS did and said.