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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum won’t pay for whole of lesson

61 replies

Saltedcaramel78 · 12/12/2018 19:09

I am not the teacher on the other thread! But clearly there’s something in the water because I’m having my own AIBU

Mum booked 90 min lesson for her son, got stuck in traffic and so was about 25 mins later. Son is teenager, paid in cash and left. I realised afterwards that he had only paid for the hour.

I sent polite chase up emailing asking for the full amount, she’s replied saying he only had an hour lesson and so doesn’t want to pay full amount. Not sure what to reply to that!

The more I mull on it- it’s the casual attitude to my time not being important that frustrates me (as does the unexpected loss in earnings). Mum has long term illness and so I’ve been pretty relaxed in letting her cancel classes, so really is my fault for not taking harder line from the get go.

OP posts:
KERALA1 · 12/12/2018 19:34

God pay as you go for for kids activities would do my head in as the parent. Just invoice at the beginning of term and they pay up front. Then if they miss a lesson or are late its their loss. Every tutor I have ever had (music, French, maths) works this way. Not doing so seems to cause nothing but resentment and frustration so can't understand why any tutor wouldn't. Frankly it seems abit unprofessional not to

PeekaPeeka · 12/12/2018 19:34

Given that so many parents seem to be CFs, even if you had contracts covering missed lessons, it would probably be difficult to get them to actually pay for lessons they didn't show up for.

You definitely need to invoice termly / half termly in advance. And if they haven't paid by say the 2nd lesson in a term - no more lessons until they've paid.

Honeyroar · 12/12/2018 19:37

Next week take payment up front for the full lesson then throw him out after an hour?

Seriously I'd point out that they'd booked 90 minutes, you were there, unable to teach anyone else in that period, and it wasn't your fault that she was late. If she still refuses I'd strike them off.

Whocansay · 12/12/2018 19:38

She has effectively docked your wages because SHE was late. That's outrageous. I would send Resistance's email above.

She does not value your time and is a rude cow.

ifiwasabutterfly · 12/12/2018 19:38

I pay for dd's piano lessons in advance (out of school at the teachers house). I pay trembly but I think you can do half termly. I would let this go this time and then send out a letter first week back explaining that you are only doing payment in advance in future (obviously if you have any struggling families you could always do weekly payments by taking payment at the end of one lesson for the next week)

ginghamstarfish · 12/12/2018 19:40

If you let them do this once, they will do it again. I had this while private language teaching. One student turned up late a few times, I let it go and did the full hour. Then she called to cancel 10 mins before, I let it go .... she did it again and I said I was going to have to start charging her for missed lessons as I had turned down other students for that slot. She flew into a rage and said she wouldn't have to pay the hairdresser etc if she didn't turn up for an appointment! I now ask payment for 4 weeks in advance, with terms and conditions the student has to agree to.

TBDO · 12/12/2018 19:41

I pay for my DC lessons half termly in advance. If I miss a lesson, it’s my own fault. If the teacher cancels, I get either a refund or credit on to next half-term invoice.

It’ll take a bit of upfront work to get payments in advance - tell parents etc. But once in place, you know you’re covered for short term cancellations.

Henevieve · 12/12/2018 19:45

My dc have learnt 5 instruments between them and I have always paid their fees at the start of each term.

I’ve never heard of it being done in cash after each lesson - you’re setting yourself up for being taken advantage of with that arrangement.

stellarfox · 12/12/2018 19:46

What awful behaviour. You are exactly right she is not valuing your time. You reserved that time to teach her son and she was the one that was late! I agree with previous posters to get advance payments. If they are late it is their fault and they have to pay for it.

Feefeetrixabelle · 12/12/2018 19:49

Contracts drawn up for each child, payment due 24 hours before lesson.

Missingstreetlife · 12/12/2018 19:50

Bill them for the term in advance, accept payments by instalment but only cancellation with notice. You wouldn't get away with it for practitioners, lawyers even childminders. Don't be put upon.

MissConductUS · 12/12/2018 19:56

I pay my DD's maths tutor in advance in four weekly session blocks, so about monthly. He gives me a small discount for doing so and it eliminates a lot bother for both of us and DD.

rjay123 · 12/12/2018 19:57

Dear Mum,

I was available for the entire 90 minute slot between Xpm and Ypm, and this is charged at the standard amount of £Z. The shortfall in payment of £££ can be made via BACS to my account details 112233 12345678. Until payment has been made in full, I will not be willing to offer Johnny any further lessons on the Glass Harmonica.

Regards

salted.

busybarbara · 12/12/2018 20:01

Payment in advance is great but at a minimum you just don't do the next lesson until things are square

SilkenTofu · 12/12/2018 20:01

You should take this end of year opportunity to change the way you do things.

Dear Parents

Just to let you know that as of 01 Jan I will be increasing my hourly rate to XXXXX as a result of rising costs and/ or I will be asking for payment of lesson in advance for the term. See terms and conditions included.

Regards

Salted

Well, you need a better write up than what I've put but you get my drift. You need to give them the impression that you are fighting students off with a stick and they need to be a bit more respectful if they want to be on your books.

Yinv · 12/12/2018 20:03

I think email back asking for the money, but not accompanied with the threat of no more lessons at this stage. I think that people sometimes don't realise that they are depriving you of your income by being late, regardless of whether that was inside their control. Someone on the other thread likened it to being late for the theatre. You still pay your whole seat. If she doesn't pay, perhaps ask her to phone you so that you can clarify your position.

Yinv · 12/12/2018 20:04

Agree with Silken, 1st Jan is a great time to put the price up and send some terms and conditions.

LadyinLavende · 12/12/2018 20:05

Honeyroar Wed 12-Dec-18 19:37:53
"Next week take payment up front for the full lesson then throw him out after an hour?"

This is exactly what I was going to say.... in addition to getting a contract sorted, of course.

ChocolateWombat · 12/12/2018 20:05

Dear
Please be aware that when you book my time for 90 minutes, 90 minutes needs to be paid for. If X arrives late or cancels with less than X notice, the full charge is payable. Please appreciate that this is my liklihood and time booked to X, but not taken and not paid for results in a loss of earnings which I cannot recuperate.

I would therefore appreciate it if you could send me the outstanding amount of X for the 30 minutes I was available to teach X. If you are not willing to pay for the full time slot that you booked and I was available to teach X I am afraid I will not be able to continue to teach him, but I hope it won't come to that and you understand my position.

Yours...

I might also add that in light of this matter arising, you will be introducing a contract from January and will require payment of monthly/termly in advance.

An alternative would be to accept that because you haven't had a contract in place, you will just have to write this money off. You can then write to this parent (and others) saying that as of January you will be introducing a contract with fees payable in advance. Layout how close to a lesson they can cancel/change lesson and the notice period required for ending lessons. There will be samples online that you can use.

ExFury · 12/12/2018 20:06

At the very most you need to charge for a lesson in advance. Round here a lot of parents couldn’t afford a whole term in advance, but every activity mine do you pay twice on the first lesson/activity and then every week after at least. That means the lesson is paid for before you get it.

TatianaLarina · 12/12/2018 20:07

Pay terms fees in advance.

Every music teacher I’ve ever had did this. I’m baffled that people don’t do this.

And be firm about missed lessons and missed time.

Parttimewasteoftime · 12/12/2018 20:14

As other posters are saying invoice per term thats how we pay. My DS1 will be missing a sport lesson already paid for tomorrow he's sick not the teachers fault. Why should you have deducted amount because they were late! New year new start OP trust me parents are grateful to good teachers.

MaisyPops · 12/12/2018 20:15

A friend of mine tutors and has a similar issue. She charges 6 weeks in advance (or half term ahead). If sessions need to be rearranged then she's happy to try with 48 hours notice to move them. If not all money is paid regardless of attending.

1980stat · 12/12/2018 20:16

We've had probably six music teachers (three children and four instruments) over a period of 12 years. Of those only one has had a contract and charged in advance (he charged termly). In honesty the termly charging put us off somewhat, it was usually about £650 a term in one chunk and we were young and fairly poor back then Smile

We would have welcomed monthly in advance, if nothing else it would have avoided the endless trips to cashpoints before lessons.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 12/12/2018 20:19

@Whocansay is right - and I would make the point very directly:

"Dear Mrs X,

It is unacceptable for you to dock my wages because you were late bringing your son to his lesson. It was not my fault that your son did not get his full 90 minute lesson, and I fail to see why I should lose out, financially, for something that was completely outside my control.

I expect prompt payment of the outstanding amount, before the next lesson.

Yours
Salted Caramel.