To think going away with other people is a nightmare?

[mommathatwearspink]

We have been away three times this year with either family or friends (once abroad, twice in the UK). Although we have had a really lovely time on all of them, we have found it a nightmare in one way or another. Issues have included... people not wanting to eat at same time / at same place, children running wild, shopping not split equally when self catering, no personal space. There are loads more. It’s put me off going away with people ever again but I also feel that I’m being anti-social and the only person that doesn’t enjoy these holidays with family or friends.

I think most people probably prefer to holiday with just their immediate family or a small group.

We've holidayed with friends before and it worked very well but I think that's because we more or less just treated it as shared accommodation, we didn't actually spend all day together or eat all our meals together. In the evening when the kids were in bed, the adults sat outside and chatted.

You are quite right. Never do it. a disaster

I like to do it but my dh finds it really stressful.
He is much less tolerant and needs to feel that everything is totally fair from payment to tidying up to cooking to drink - the list goes on and so does he!!!

I find it stressful. We've been away with my in-laws before and I felt like we were on their holiday and not mine.

I find it horribly stressful. As you've said, lots of room for disagreement about money, dining arrangements, kid's behaviour, kid's bedtimes etc etc

We never go away with friends and only with very close family for these reasons.

First example, we went camping (caravan) with friends (trailer tent). I packed a whole week's shopping + meal planner (cheaper +vegi dc so much easier).
Friend rolls up carrying a cooked chicken on her knee. .
That was it..
Rained the whole week.
Guess who hosted in the warm /dry food laden caravan?

I've only done it once but I'm not keen to do it again. Different expectations re drinking, children's behaviour, bedtimes etc.

No never keen to do this. Always feel
Like you need to consider the other parties, be up at the same time, ready at the same time, choose the same activities, eat at the same places at the same time. Feel like you have to go along with it even if it’s things you wouldn’t choose. Did it once with close friends just didn’t enjoy it they spent theeeek arguing terribly. Was v awkward. Did go with sister one year but holidays overlapped by a few days rather than it being a whole holiday and that did work ok but was literally 3 days. Wouldn’t actively look to go away with anyone else.

Oh completely agree. An absolute nightmare. Went on holidays before with 2 friends of mine. Ah, if you're going to shave your legs (and other bits!) in the bath, have the manners to clean it after you.

Depends on the people, of course. We've had a number of very successful joint holidays. And one bad one :)

Make sure you get all the money arrangements out of the way early, allowing for no assumptions. Either track everything (that's what we do) and calculate it out at the end, or do a kitty for joint stuff.

YA so so so NBU. I’ve actually recently lost a friend over this . The way we did everything was just so different, and her strange habits started to grate on me, the grating turned into rowing... We don’t speak now. I think it was the final straw in our relationship though she was a difficult friend anyway.

I much prefer going away with just my Dp/family

It's lovely with close family or very close friends. I can't picture it without ensuite bathrooms though!

Otherwise, I strongly recommend renting a property each - or at least a different hotel room, in the same complex. You each live your own life, and you meet when convenient. best of both worlds.

Some people have more manners than others, it does help.

It just depends who you go with. My parents - perfect. My in-laws - no way. We have friends we regularly go away with and it is perfect, we are all looking for the same things from holidays and really enjoy each other’s company. Another set of friends joined us once and never again, it just didn’t work. I don’t think it always has to be a nightmare though.

No,,been there done that. When im on holiday i want to relax and do what I want to do. I dont want to have to fit in with and/or pander to others,,simples..

It depends. I went to Spain with my friend, her dd, My dd (our dds are best friends) and my mum. It was great. In fact we are doing again next year. :)

We go away with friends quite often, but the first couple of times I felt like you, we have learned some tricks.

Make sure you have your own room or space as a condition of goIng.
Disappear off From the group and eat when you fancy if they are in dissarray. Just say, we're off for a sandwich, and then just wander off and do it.
Organise a kitty and a kitty holder and do the shopping from that, also drinks rounds etc.

Really what you need to do is remove yourself from the pressure points as and when they arise,

I love going away with Uni friends- there’s a core group of 5/6 of us including my husband and me. We rent a cottage in the Lakes or Peaks and just spend time walking, discovering the local towns, having pub lunches, chatting over wine or playing board games. We spend most of our time together, even if we’re doing different things in the same room e.g. napping, reading, card games.
It’s one of the real highlights of my year and feels like being back in halls together. We’re all very much on same wavelength, so I actually find it much less stressful and far more fun than spending (usually tense) time with my family.

I guess it depends who you go away with. We go away with another family regularly and we've never had an issue - communal childcare whtn the kids are small can mean you actually get a break.