To ask if you think I have PTSD?

[Mothership113]

I'm having disturbing nightmares and spend a portion of my time ruminating about an abusive ex who physically abused me for a number of years. I am completely no contact with this person and with good reason.

This relationship was years ago and i now have a family with a good man and a pleasant life, its disturbing me to have this man in my thoughts.

This can't be normal can it? I'm not in love with this person, could it be PTSD?

Well to be honest no one on here can tell you that and it would be irresponsible for someone to try but that being said I can tall you that I do have ptsd (although slightly different as it's complex ptsd I have) both nightmares and intrusive thoughts are symptoms of ptsd they are normally accompanied by a host of other symptoms too and it's the combination of various symptoms that normally is used to diagnose.

no I don't think your in love with this person

That doesn't mean that what your experiencing is ok or fair and I do think it would be a good idea to contact your gp or an organisation that deals with domestic abuse support so you can get a professional to work on what going on.

My feeling is this is the aftermath as your now safe to feel what you had to push down for so long to survive. Now your happy and everything has become good your brain has said to itself right it's time to get rid of all this bad stuff Iv locked away so it's gone forever and the things that you couldn't deal with are starting to rise to the surface.

I'm really sorry your having a tough time.

@Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom thank you for replying, what you've said makes a lot of sense to me.

I think I will speak to my GP

Just to echo Ginky. I have PTSD too and repressed a lot of memories and feelings. I was diagnosed a few years ago and had therapy for it and a lot of those memories came back. My therapist said that my brain repressed everything until it felt safe so it could be that this is what you have done.
However it would be wildly inappropriate for us to diagnose you over the internet so I think you need to speak to your GP about it and ask to be referred to a therapy service.

I'm a sufferer of complex PTSD as a result of childhood SA. My memories were repressed for many years, apart from intrusive thoughts and images sometimes. The memories cane flooding back when I was finally in a safe place, married with young children.

My feeling is that you're in a similar position, but as PPs have said, it would be irresponsible for a group of strangers to diagnose you on MN. You should make an appointment with your GP, though, and ask for therapy. There can be a wait, though, I've had to wait 18 weeks but it is worth it.

I too have ptsd but it can only be diagnosed by a psychiatrist. Usually with ptsd you will have any mix of the following symptoms, flashbacks (ie being triggered to feeling you are actually back in the traumatic situation) nightmares, hypervigalance (this often means experiencing difficulty being in environments with several noise sources, smells of sights - you feel overwhelmed), avoidance of anything that reminds you of the trauma.

Look on the mind website and see if you recognise yourself in the symptoms. If you do the first step is to contact your GP good luck

Thank you for the replies and advice

I'm definitely going to speak to my GP and will have a look at the mind website.

I can relate to the avoidance of anything that reminds me of the trauma, and sights.

Years later I still freeze when I see the same model/colour of a car he drives and go into a quiet panic, same thing when I see company cars for a well known cleaning firm as his mother used to work for them and would follow me around on his behalf. This is irrational because I've moved hundreds of miles away and they don't know where I am.

Every single time I get an unfamiliar friend request on social media I instantly assume its him (he has form for fake profiles)

I'm definitely still hyper vigilant about it all and feel like I should be well past it by now, it can't be nice for my OH who must wonder why he's still on my mind.

It was actually a psychologist I was referred to who diagnosed me a couple of years ago and a psychologist who will be doing EMDR treatment with me now.

I think the difference is that only psychiatrists can prescribe medication for MH disorders.

That is, a psychologist who specialises in the treatment of trauma.

Go to your GP who can then refer you to a psychiatrist. I have PTSD (diagnosed by a psychiatrist) and nightmares, intrusive thoughts and flashbacks are definitely some of the symptoms that I have.

Take care, all the best OP x

The more you add the more it looks familiar to ptsd or at least a response to trauma.

Does your oh know about your history? If not it might be worth talking to him even just in broad strokes so he understands that this isn't you reminiscing about your past it's you finally starting to work on hurt from the past.

The reality is even if your not diagnosed with anything your ill at the moment, if your oh is a decent man he will try to understand and support you, just as he would if you had for example broken your leg or had migraines or diabetes or cancer or any other illness.

Hopefully once you access support and have a place to process everything your symptoms will lessen which in turn will give you more strength to work on more which then helps you put to bed the parts that are bubbling away and leave you in a much better position of sadness sometimes because something terrible happened and you know nothing can change that but it feels like the past (now) and doesn't invade your new happy life.

Like others have said we can't diagnose you, but I have complex PTSD from childhood trauma and I identify with a lot of your symptoms. Get to a GP as soon as you can.

One book that is really helpful is Pete Walker's Complex PTSD: from surviving to thriving.

Hi @mothership113 just a message to say Iv been thinking about you and hope your ok.

Have a great Christmas!

Go and speak to someone. I have PTSD following the birth of my second child. I had nightmares, flashbacks, overwhelming health anxiety and crippling panic attacks. I wouldn't say I'm "cured" but i had emdr treatment a couple of years ago and it was reallt tough but it made a massive difference. Help isn't easy to get but it does help.