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Original poster

To go on dates with 2 people?

23 replies

spotcru · 11/12/2018 21:44

Been online dating. Have gone on dates with 2 different guys (amongst others that obviously just didn't work out). Really like them both actually, but for different reasons. Feel I might need to get to know them both longer (ofc) but we did do some light flirting and stuff. Is it acceptable to see them both again???

OP posts:
Elphie54 · 11/12/2018 21:45

As log as they know about each other and are okay with it, I don’t see why not.

If you mean keep it a secret from them-then no, not acceptable.

clockworklime · 11/12/2018 21:46

Assuming you are an adult, and so are they, do what you like

BreakYourselfAgainstMyStones · 11/12/2018 21:51

It's fine to date 2 people, and you don't have to tell them about each other at all, it's only dating, you aren't exclusive with either yet.

ChipsAreLife · 11/12/2018 21:56

I think it's fine and no reason to tell them in my opinion. You're dating not in a committed relationship. Hope it continues to go well!

Cherries101 · 11/12/2018 21:58

Modern OLD doesn’t tend to be monogamous until you have a conversation about it. Your dates may well be seeing other people too.

TheChickenOfTruth · 11/12/2018 22:13

If they specifically ask, tell them the truth. But no need to bring it up if they don't, until you want one of them to be "exclusive" with you.

Dieu · 11/12/2018 23:23

Absolutely fine. Good luck with it!

funnylittlefloozie · 11/12/2018 23:49

Its perfectly all right, and you certainly don't have any obligation to tell either of them that you are seeing other people. Just keep dating and having fun, and be safe!

RagingWhoreBag · 11/12/2018 23:58

I think it’s the done thing until you say otherwise.

I didn’t like doing it as I knew I’d get confused and end up talking about the wrong things to the wrong guy but if you have a good memory you’ll be fine Grin

You could casually mention you’ve been on a couple of dates lately - they don’t need to know the chronology. Then once you decide who you like best you can talk about seeing others/coming off the OLD sites etc.

halfwitpicker · 12/12/2018 00:01

God yes do it please

wondering1101 · 12/12/2018 00:02

Are we talking sleeping with both people or just meeting up with them?

If it is the former and that is normal for OLD, I have even more to be scared of (recently divorced) than I already thought I did.

Is that the done thing - sleep with more than one person until you decide which one you prefer?

Genuinely asking.

Anticlockwatcher · 12/12/2018 00:28

Of course it means sleeping with them!

My record was 5 guys on the go at once. It was tough sometimes to remember which one I was seeing, especially when I was leaving one place and going straight to see another one - One time I ended up in Chipping Norton rather than Wells!

Anticlockwatcher · 12/12/2018 00:34

One pro tip for the professional dater - make sure they either all have the same name or completely different ones.

Never ever date a Rob and a Rod. Been there - ended badly Smile

jessstan2 · 12/12/2018 00:36

Of course it's OK, you aren't committed to either, at the moment they are 'friends' you are getting to know.

Enjoy it!

HestiaParthenos · 12/12/2018 00:39

Are we talking sleeping with both people or just meeting up with them?

Well, I am weird, so my opinion has nothing to do with how other people are, but to me, "dating" means just meeting up with people, and of course, it is okay to do that with several different people at the same time.

After all, you cannot decide whether you want a relationship with someone after meeting them only once. (I can decide I don't want a relationship after meeting someone only once, but that's different)

If a man wanted to have sex with me, I would be very angry to find out he is sleeping with other women and didn't feel a need to tell me.

GonzoFlyingProducts · 12/12/2018 01:18

LMFAO !

I'm a Dad and last night I had a conversation with my (almost) 15 year old daughter during which I actually used the line "you may have to kiss a few frogs"...

Are young people so digitally addicted and at the point where they have to ask permission of Mumsnet to casually see a few people at once ?

REALLY ??

hooveringhamabeads · 12/12/2018 01:29

I’m going to buck the trend here and say I don’t really think it’s ok. At least, not if you think either of them is a serious prospect.

If it’s just a casual sex arrangement, of course that’s ok. But if you think either of them could develop into anything more, I’d knock it on the head with anyone else. Even if it’s not officially ‘exclusive’. I don’t think I’ve ever had that formal kind of talk with anyone - it’s been fairly clear from the off whether it’s just a bit of fun or whether we are seriously interested in each other.

I’d be pretty hurt if I got together with someone and then found out at some point down the line that they’d been shagging someone else for the first bit of our relationship. Sticking to one person at a time keeps things a lot simplier!

thighofrelief · 12/12/2018 01:38

You can do what you like until you decide if / when to be exclusive. I once dated 2 guys called Steve. I couldn't tell them apart on the phone so had to ask how they had spent their day for long enough to identify them.

Needadvice101 · 12/12/2018 04:42

Totally fine I believe almost 100% of men OLD do this if they can including the sex... that’s why there are so many stories of women getting ghosted after sex- it’s always women who question this but I believe they should do it more

NotAnotherUserName5 · 12/12/2018 04:49

Sure, if you’re ok with them dating other women too.

Klobuchar · 12/12/2018 04:52

I think we need to establish what “dating” means to the OP here

wondering1101 · 12/12/2018 06:38

If a man wanted to have sex with me, I would be very angry to find out he is sleeping with other women and didn't feel a need to tell me.

This ^

Don’t think OLD will be for me 😱.

Oysterbabe · 12/12/2018 06:43

I think it's fine until sex is involved. If I started sleeping with one I'd sack off the other.

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