AIBU to ask if you co sleep how do you ever find time to dtd?

[mrsseashell]

... or even have a cuddle?!
Feeling v distant from my OH at the moment. 14mo DS has never slept through the night, ends up in our bed about an hour after he goes in his cot, and stays with us for the rest of the night.

We use the spare room

You have an hour. How long does sex take you? It only takes us around 20mins plenty of time after to shower and eat. What work are you doing? Do you really both need to work every night? Can’t you take it in turns to do work in the time the other one is settling the baby?

Oh and ignore all the ‘work on sleeping habits’ crap. Some babies don’t sleep well and parents can’t force it. People who say you can fix it probably haven’t experienced awful sleepers.

6mo DD starts off in her cot but never stays there. We co sleep otherwise we wouldn’t sleep. Since she’s been born DH and I have dtd the grand total of twice! DH doesn’t like the sofa (its old and you’d end up sinking into it) so we just don’t. It doesn’t bother me much anymore as I’ve gotten used to it, however I would like another baby at some point so we might have to revisit the situation then!

Use the spare room, sofa, put a duvet on the floor etc. I bedshared with DS, used to go to bed at 7, did controlled crying (at 16mo) to get him in his cot (which would last anything from an hour to 2/3am) and then he came in with us. That lasted until he was ill then he came back in with us and stayed there till just before he was two.

Couple of months later and he's in his own room, cuddled to sleep and then gets put down. Still got his cot attached to our bed, when he wakes in the night he comes in with us.

Oh and ignore all the ‘work on sleeping habits’ crap. Some babies don’t sleep well and parents can’t force it. People who say you can fix it probably haven’t experienced awful sleepers.

This is so true!!

It gets much easier when they're two I've found both times. Don't worry about forcing the issue with controlled crying etc- it will improve. We also have a second double bed- get youngest off to sleep then we do what we like elsewhere in the house and I pop back in with her when and if she disturbs. It does get a lot easier soon promise.

Simple - nothing for the first two years!

DH on single bed in our room, me in main bed with DS.

We dtd on single bed or floor when our baby is napping or deeply asleep. DS has never woken up during this time.

We do it before bed so on sofa...shower etc or cheeky afternoon quickly on nappies when hubby works at home

Excellent post- I’ve been wondering myself!!!! DS will only sleep next to me or on me, only managed sex once in 5 months!

We used to just do it in other rooms.

Favourite was a sex party on the living room floor, we'd make a big nest out of our duvet and pillows and the sofa cushions.

Or in the day if DD was at grandparents. She co-slept until 3.5.

It's nice to not have to plan sex anymore. But I do miss the living room parties. Especially this time of year with the tree up.

Think I'll suggest it at the weekend.

Oh and ignore all the ‘work on sleeping habits’ crap. Some babies don’t sleep well and parents can’t force it. People who say you can fix it probably haven’t experienced awful sleepers

And absolutely this. I'm convinced it's a developmental thing which is personal to each child. I was similar to my DS and my Dad too.

Spare room! I co-sleep with our toddler and once she’s asleep we go to the spare bedroom, which DH uses to sleep in at the moment.

I also struggled to leave her alone at 14 months. As she got nearer 18-24 months she started to sleep much heavier and doesn’t notice now when I get back up. Don’t stress about this.