Attend kids birthday party without gift?

[Smith888]

Do you think it’s ok to accept an invite to a kids party if you do not bring a gift at all? As a kid I would receive used toys etc from my friends. I didn’t mind as it was usually something of theirs I liked. But to bring nothing at all?

Hmm I personally would never turn up to a party empty handed - even if it was something small and inexpensive.

Not enough info in your OP to comment.

In some circumstances (e.g. struggling family member) - absolutely no problem.

In other circumstances (e.g. thoughtless greedy acquaintance) - perhaps a problem.

As a host, I would be happy to have guests who do not bring a gift to my child’s party. The point of the party is fun. Presents are a bonus. I would hate to think a child missed out because a gift wasn’t in the family budget.

I would assume the guest couldn’t afford it (and be very sympathetic) or was disorganised or life had got in the way for a usually organised person (and would still be sympathetic!). I’d acknowledge the possibility that they just didn’t bother, but it would be my least likely option and I’d still rather my child had their friend there. So all in all, it’d be a meh from me.

Most parties we are invited to are thankfully “no gifts please”, so not bringing gifts is actually what a lot of people want!

This reminds me of when my younger sister had a birthday party, when I was a teenager. One girl turned up to say sorry she couldn't come in afterall, as she hadn't been able to buy a present. I assured her it was fine, and went with her to tell her Mum she was still welcome at the party. She was embarrassed taking part in the activities, meal, party bag etc, as she felt she shouldn't as she hadn't bought a present. Even as a teenager, I felt it wrong that she should miss out on a fun activity due to her family finances not stretching to a birthday present, and as an adult I would hate to know a child had missed out because of it. Similarly, I think it is an important part of life to be able to give with no expectation of receiving, so I definitely would not be bothered about someone turning up with no gift.

I agree with Huggy, it depends on the circumstances. If it's a big party in a hall with lots of dc then the birthday child could well not even notice.

As a host it wouldn’t bother me in the least if someone turned up without a gift.

My children love holding birthday parties because it’s fun to spend time with their friends, they wouldn’t mind at all if someone didn’t bring one.

As a guest, I always bring a gift (unless requested not to)

I usually ask for "no presents" as I don't want a mountain of tat. I doubt the people hosting the party will be so grasping as to actually notice or care who brings a gift.

Yes I think it’s fine.

I can’t imagine many children noticing amongst the excitement and other presents.

Can you imagine how many children would never get to attend a birthday party if the parents first had to pay a ticket to get in?

Surely you invite someone because you want them there not just for a gift?

It’s nice to take one if you can but I wouldn’t exclude someone who couldn’t

No, I think it is very rude. If you cannot afford it, a cheap card from Card Factory, and a packet of sweets and a toy from the Poundshop or discount store.

My mum sent me to a party when I was 5, without a present (my parents were comfortable moneywise), I was so embarrassed when all the kids were giving the birthday boy his presents, and there was me with no present to give. It still makes me cringe now.

Not even a card to hand over .

Additionally, as parties are getting larger (whole class parties becoming normal) we must be beyond the whole presents from everyone thing? So much crap straight in the landfill! Feel the same about party bags!

No, I think it is very rude. If you cannot afford it, a cheap card from Card Factory, and a packet of sweets and a toy from the Poundshop or discount store.

Your parents may well have been tight but you do realise that some people literally don't have a couple of pounds extra for a cheap bag of sweets and a card? Especially not every week. 1 million people using a foobank this year, you'd deny their kids a party because they haven't got money for sweets? (that the parents probably don't want their child to have?)

It depends on the circumstances Veggy, if you can afford it, you get a cheap card and something small.

As the birthday child's parent, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest (and I may even be pleased!). I don't think my child would notice, especially if it was a big party and, if she did notice, she certainly wouldn't comment.

If my child was going to a party though, I think she would feel a bit upset not to take a present for the birthday child, so I would try and get something small (tube of sweets, box of malteasers etc) if possible. I wouldn't have my family going without food, heating etc to buy this though.

Or kids can make a card for the friend or make something small for the birthday child, so that they can give something to the child.

I think it is fine.

As a guest I wouldn't turn up completely empty-handed. As a host I wouldn't mind at all if a guest did.

You can't turn up to a child's part empty handed. I know people say
"Oh it doesn't matter, but to a child it does.
No one is saying you need to take out a second mortgage for it. Even if you £ shop and get a bag of sweets, that's fine.

I don't think I would notice, I certainly wouldn't think anything of it.

That said I wouldn't do it. I once forgot the present we had bought, I explained and passed it on a few days later, but I actually felt mortified.

It's hardly the point of a party. My kids always make the card. Sometimes the dds are given £10 in a card from guests and I'm embarrassed as that's far too much.