Dp and his birthday

[octoberbaby2010]

Aibu to ask my partner to choose a birthday present and I will get it for him? Or should I get him a surprise?
FWIW we haven't been getting on, splitting up is on the cards, his wages go into his bank and he draws some out when/if I need it, I'm a SAHM with no income of my own other than child benefit which goes mainly on my dd, x tia x

Just tell him you need more, as your finding it odd having to ask all the time...

He works and pays for everything, and gives money when it’s needed. - SHE works to enable him to work. Otherwise THEY would have to find and pay for childcare.

She should have access to money - she is working just as hard without pay. Therefore she should have access to the household money.

He 'hands over money when needed'? It is now 2018 - not the 50s where housewives would have to ask for money from the 'Man of the house'.

OP - if you want to proceed like this, stand over him while he opens a joint account. Today.

Otherwise, get financial advice on what is yours. You are on shaky ground when you don't know your Rights. Don't let this situation jsut continue until he either gets more abusive, or chucks you out.

Who gets child benefit?

That aside, OP is in a shaky financial position if she is unmarried and has no/limited access to money (without asking).

If your family will be worse off if you have to pay childcare (saying it's more than her wage is a shorthand ffs), then look at evening or weekend jobs so your partner can look after your DC?

Ah, sorry you did say you get child benefit.

So just an update, he went into the bank to see if I can be added to his account.... only took a year of me nagging!! Xx