To think I'm on the Autistic Spectrum and wonder what I can do about it?

[ManicUnicorn]

Ive always been 'odd'. Ive known this from a very young age, but have always just accepted it as how I am. I'm incrediably lucky in that my family and childhood friends just accepted me as being a bit eccentric or quirky, and I was never made to feel bad or picked on for it.

However it caused me problems in other ways, I couldn't cope with school and school refused a lot. I had some dreadful teachers in primary schools who made it a million times worse. I now have appalling anxiety.I'm obsessed with routine and I struggle with change, I feel like an outsider and often feel like I'm looking in on life and not really part off.

Other stuff. I can't concentrate, I stammer, I talk to myself and I often lose myself in my own thoughts. I had appalling social skills, but have worked on those and think I'm better now. I become fixated on things, and they consume my every thought until another fixation comes along.

This is the tip of the iceberg. Recently my DM confessed she always wondered if I was autistic. I used to 'stim' with my hands as a Yong child, which I know is common in autistic children. I was a later Walker and never crawled, I shuffled. DM said the reason she didn't pursue it because I was still me and it didn't change who I was, but I feel angry and like my life would be very different had I been diagnosed.

I don't know what I want, but I feel like I want to know either way if I am.

Where do I start?

My DP has ASD. Diagnosed in his 30s.

We had to go to gp to get a referral to the local mental health service team. He then had multiple sessions with a psychotherapist before getting sent to a psychiatrist who finally gave him a diagnosis.

He's also got depression and anxiety and has medication for this which does tend to help as his anxiety/depression tends to feed his autistic traits.

But everyone reacts differently. DP hates talking to strangers so something talky like CBT would do no good.

If you feel the need for a formal diagnosis (DP did. He wanted a name for what was wrong with him. He likes being able to label things) then your first port of call is GP for a referral. It can take months from referral to diagnosis though and there's no magic tablets. It's a bit like throwing spaghetti at a wall and seeing what sticks.

Good luck whatever you decide to do OP

If you do a search there's been a few similar threads to this started recently which you might find helpful.

If you want an NHS assessment you need to go to your GP and request one. Be prepared that you might be told there's no adult assessment in your area or there is but it's a long wait (I've been on the waiting list for 2 years).

If you would prefer to go private look at the NAS website for details of who to contact. Lorna Wing is highly recommended on here for assessment of women.

I was exact same at school I used get bullied all the time I never used to say a word a very quiet and shy person. Now am 33 and mostly outgrown all that. But looking back it does make me think that I was very different than other children but didn't have any support or diagnosis. My daughter got dignosed with autism at the age of 3 that's when I realised there must have been something wrong with me in my childhood. Only difference is I've got plenty of support in place for her at school it's only mild but she was showing exact same symptoms as myself quite shy oversenstive. But all the support u get these days at school and from your healthcare I can't believe how much she's growing out of it. If only they had a support system in our times back than it would have been easier for us today. I just want to say your not alone. I still constantly tallk to myself and go over things again and again in my head but I've accepted that's the way I am and it doesn't bother me. As long as your happy within yourself and it's not bothering you than you should be fine xxxxx

I don't really have a GP. Only loccums at our surgery. I suppose I could still try, but Ive a nagging feeling I will be brushed off. I just want to know why I'm like I am though, I'm just different...

Thank god there's better understanding for kids growing up on the spectrum now.

Go to the GP, locum or not, they will still be able to refer you. You’re not alone. My friends sister is now 66 and they both know she is autistic, but she has never been diagnosed. Autistic people of her age are known as the forgotten ones as so few people knew about this condition when they were children. Your symptoms are so much like hers. I think getting diagnosed will help you. Bless you.

Try one of the locums. I specifically asked for a locum when I wanted a referral because I thought if they say no and laugh me out of the building at least I probably wouldn't have to see them again! The doctor I saw was lovely, listened to what I had to say and used the notes I'd taken with me to write my referral.