to want to know who is coming for Christmas

[Needsupporttoday]

Aibu to want to know if and when the inlaws are visiting us over Christmas?
They (5 of them) might or might not come for a two day stay from Boxing Day. it stresses me not knowing if they are coming and when they will decide by. Doesn't depend on their jobs, only on whether they can be bothered to drive 3 hours to get here. If they don't come, we end up going there but have invited them here because we have travelled every year otherwise and fancy a break from Christmas travelling.
dh says IABU to expect an answer so early

I think it is resonable for them to let you know in the next few days

If they say no then stay at home, Explain you would like a break from travel

I’d want to know now. I’m shopping and planning bits and pieces now and working up until Christmas so wouldn’t want to be running around at the last minute.

Of course you need to know sooner rather than later. There's food and sleeping arrangements to sort out. If they don't come i wouldn't be going to theirs this year either. Just have a lovely restful time at home.

It's only 2 weeks to Christmas - if they hadn't told me they'd not be coming even if they turned up on my door step!

Tell them that you need to know by X date, because you will need to get the food sorted at the very least - remember that a lot of supermarkets close on Boxing Day too, so if they don't tell you in advance of you doing your last shop, they will have to make do with what you have in, or they will need to go to the garage/convenience store/takeaway for sustenance.

If they don't come to you, you'll have to not see them this Christmas.

It's all very well for your dh, but he isn't the one who has to sort out all the food and sleeping arrangements and how many crackers to buy, is he?

They really need to confirm by this weekend, I reckon.

I suggest though, that all the food you buy is frozen, so that if they decide to let you down at the last minute, nothing will get spoiled. You won't then have to travel to them either, taking already-prepared food with you.

I would give them a deadline by which they need to confirm what they are doing. If they don't RSVP, say you will assume they are not coming and plan accordingly to stay and relax at home. If they then turn up it'll be tough luck having to turn round and drive back home again!

They don't want to travel and are hoping you'll go there instead. I'd leave it and assume they're not coming

trouble is elderly MIL won't drive on her own so if SIL doesn't come with her family, MIL won't see dh over Christmas. There is then the moral obligation to make the journey. Would still like to know if we are at home with visitors or off visiting others