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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby hates car seat.. Any experience or advice.

23 replies

Snowydaysaregreat · 10/12/2018 14:32

From the second I open car door and lean her towards her seat she screams arches back etc.
She screams the entire journey. We've brought 2 different seats now thinking it as a seat issue.. ( and have one in each car anyway) was the same in her 0+ seat.
We've tried talking. Singing. Music on music off. Toys. Mirror etc
She's 9m
If we just ' ignore her' for a short journey. She screams that much she's sick.

Its getting beyond silly now. Each journey means a change of clothes.. I avoid using car but due to own health issues I'm finding the walking increasingly difficult and all weekend I've just stayed in because of the car and pain if I walked.

Seriously any advice. In her entire life we've had 4 quiet no screaming journey's. She's the same in dps car.

I need to go to tesco but the thought of having to go in the car, getting there having to no doubt change her clothes and then shop is just putting me off.

Was hoping she'd grow out of it.

Otherwise she's a normal happy active baby.

OP posts:
Mulligrubs · 10/12/2018 14:38

With my son he was the same. In the end as soon as he was heavy enough he went forward facing - I know I’ll get flamed but honestly he would scream like OPs DD and it was horrific. As soon as he went forward facing group 1 seat he was fine. Happy as a clam, like a different child. Obviously I weighed up the risks of using a forward facing seat (usually we drive short local journies in a city at lowish speeds) vs the risks of having a distracting screaming baby in the car. Before anyone goes nuts at me we tried multiple seats, distractions, not using the car where possible but nothing else worked.

Original poster
Snowydaysaregreat · 10/12/2018 14:40

Should have said tried ff, like you we weighed it up and she was the same..have converted back
Even tried someone sitting in back with her and no luck

OP posts:
Linziepie · 10/12/2018 14:57

my DD is the same. The only thing that works for me is sitting in the back with her and playing a baby video on YouTube, this obviously is onlh helpful if DP is driving but I am considering fitting some sort of iPad holder to the back seat for when I'm driving. It's awful I have to pull up every 5 mins to calm her down.

Stompythedinosaur · 10/12/2018 15:01

I don't have much advice, but wanted to say my dc were like this, and they did grow out of it eventually.

Reading you post really took me back!

Original poster
Snowydaysaregreat · 10/12/2018 15:01

Thanks will try that. Hate the thought thought of a screen but if it helps. We're only ever in car together maybe one day a week. Ds when he's not at school sits in the back and it's no use :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowydaysaregreat · 10/12/2018 15:06

Ah good to hear thety grow out of it. My ds was never like that. She's a devil lol

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 10/12/2018 15:06

I would 100% use screams if it helps at all. It is horrible when your baby is upset for long periods (and also hard to concentrate on driving).

Stompythedinosaur · 10/12/2018 15:06

Screams = screens.

KonaMum · 10/12/2018 15:10

Incredibly loud white noise is the only thing that works for DS (3 months) when he gets angry in has car seat but I’m guessing you’ve tried that?

Andro · 10/12/2018 15:10

I would 100% use screams if it helps at all.

This made me chuckle, I think screams are something the OP already has too many of...

(I know you meant screens, but still...)

MysteryNameChange · 10/12/2018 15:11

My friend is one of the crunchiest and lentil weaving Mum's out there and the only thing that makes her little boy slightly better is really trashy baby YouTube. You'd never find her son with a screen any other time!

AshGirl · 10/12/2018 15:13

Screens are your friend. DS can manage short trips without now (he is 20 months) but we would never do a long journey without the iPad. Good luck Thanks

WinklemansFringe · 10/12/2018 15:18

I did read about a baby screaming and being sick when in a car seat and struggling not to go in it.

Turns out the car seat and a design fault or one off error, and a sharp piece of plastic was jabbed into the babies back when she is in it, that couldn't be seen unless the seat cover was taken off.

I know it sounds daft but I would do a thorough check of the seat for pins, sharp bits etc that might be hurting them when they are in it.

WTFdidwedo · 10/12/2018 15:18

Mine's 8 months and I am still housebound because of this pretty much, with a 3 year old also. I've given up now after trying everything. She's no better if someone sits with her and talks/sings the whole time so I just grit my teeth and deal with it now. I only travel within about 20 minutes of my home and go out about 3 times a week. I can't fucking wait for this time to be over to be honest. I've had a shit maternity leave because of it. (She also hates prams and carriers).

O819bridetob · 10/12/2018 15:21

My dd is like this but in the pram. She will fall asleep for 5-10mins but screams constantly when awake, doesn't tolerate a dummy, feeding doesn't work, she's never dirty. I don't understand it! But she's v long, 3 month old.

Petitprince · 10/12/2018 15:22

Doesn't have to be anything expensive. We use a Kindle and a holder so it's not floating free full stop the kids iPlayer app is free and brilliant.

PerfectPeony · 10/12/2018 15:25

I know you’ve probably tried this but playing baby sensory helped, as did Peppa Pig (if one of you can sit in the back) what car seat do you have? - m.youtube.com/watch?v=E8O8kak1Xgo

Vehivle · 10/12/2018 16:21

My son was like this til a friend said that she found putting a little back support (like a pillow or folded blanket) made a huge difference to her child. Her theory being that the majority of child seats are uncomfortable for the kids sat in them and and they communicate this by screaming and arching their back. We tried that (put a soft folded blanket behind his back when in the car seat to cushion/support his back) - and it was like night and day. So maybe try that?

Jent13c · 10/12/2018 16:31

Could she be travel sick? If she is sick every single journey are you sure it's the crying that is causing the sickness and not that shes crying because she feels sick? If that is the case it must just be a bit of a learned response that shes crying before she actually goes in the car seat?
My son cried every single time I drove until I switched to an auto car. My gear handling obviously wasnt good enough for him.

Poodles1980 · 10/12/2018 16:42

I had one of these. It stopped when we put him forward facing at about a year old which was not what we would have preferred but We couldn’t deal with the screaming any more and it was making our driving dangerous.

Original poster
Snowydaysaregreat · 10/12/2018 16:48

Thbak you. Had checked car seats. We have 2 diff ones fitted in each car and is the same in both.
Will try a screen if helps.

OP posts:
Thegirlwithnousername · 10/12/2018 17:07

A mirror on the back seat head rest so she can see?

Seaweed42 · 10/12/2018 17:29

Bring the car seat into the house and sit her in it from time to time and give her a treat - ice cream or some such. To get her to associate the sit with something else in a different environment. Put a teddy in it or something to play a game.
Even seeing the seat in another environment might help her to merge the seat into her common experience. Or if your DS sits into it and 'plays' with it, that might help her.
Obviously be careful to stablise the car seat if you use it on the floor indoors or whatever.

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