School, Nanny & Breakfast

[zebedeetwinkle]

It's a bit of a long story but I'll try and keep it short...

I have three children, DS6, DD4 and DD1. DH works full time and I work part time three days a week, so on those three days we have a nanny. She arrives at about 7am (DH and I leave at 7.30) and leaves again at 4 when I get in from work, we've had the same nanny for about a year now and never had any problems before.

Today I woke up as normal at 6, and by the time I got downstairs at 6.30 ish DS and DD were downstairs, they aren't normally up this early! I let them play for a bit while I finished getting ready, I left as soon as nanny arrived today (told her I was going and kids had just woken up) because work is getting busy as we get closer to Christmas.

And now I've just received a phone call from DS and DDs school (in Year 2 and Foundation) asking why they hadn't been fed breakfast.
I never get the kids breakfast on days the nanny is here, (because they are never normally awake!), but today they were so should I have gotten them breakfast? Or should the nanny have done it?
(Maybe I should have told her the kids hadn't eaten yet? Or should she have checked before not feeding them??)

Feeling like a shit mother for not feeding my kids, and just need some opinions...

Just sounds like a lack of communication, you were both a little bit at fault but she probably assumed they had eaten. She should have asked but I bet she will be mortified when you mention it m

Yea just bad communication on both sides.

I guess ideally you would have told her but I think she should have clarified with kids if she normally does breakfast?

Wouldn't the kids have said anything?

Don't feel bad - it's easily done. I sent my DD to school without doing her (long) hair on day of school photo 😂😂😂. It doesn't mean you're a bad Mum.

With a change of routine comes a need for change of communication levels. Not the end of the world, nobody ever died of starvation from missing breakfast, just better communication next time.

I am confused why the two older kids didn’t say anything!

Both at fault here so learning point rather than having a go point.

You should have mentioned it. She should have checked.

If the nanny normally makes them breakfast she should have made it today or at least checked with you that they'd already eaten. That said it sounds like a simple misunderstanding. I'd just reiterate with the nanny that she needs to get them breakfast every day. I'm surprised the school rang you about it to be honest! Mine would have just had to be hungry till snack time!

Have you actually spoken to the nanny and your kids yet?
Maybe it was offered and your DS didn't want any?
I would speak to her first and ask what happened.

Not the end of the world, and easily done, especially at this time of year with advent calendars. My DD nearly forgot to eat breakfast last week because she was busy playing with her lego advent toy that morning, and I'd assumed she'd eaten because she was sat at the table for ages. Oops.

It's a one off, you know now to double check. You're not a bad mum, you just assumed the nanny would do it like she usually does and for some reason she didn't.

I would check with the Nanny as to whether they have eaten as well - but she should have assumed things were as normal rather than any different just because they were awake when she arrived why should routine change

She’s ‘to blame’ as she normally does breakfast and you did say ‘they’ve just got up’....plus no breakfast mess etc. However, I’m a bit surprised your kids didn’t say anything?

It’s not the end of the world, but I’d ask her about it tonight.

As for the school ringing you...I’m very surprised. How did they realise? Schools don’t generally ask kids and generally don’t over react like that if the child says they usually have breakfast at home.

Just one of those things. 50:50.

Our nanny might have been confused too. We don't do the dishes from the night before so she may not have known if there was breakfast mess or not.

She usually gives breakfast, plus even if she wasn’t sure she could have asked the DC as they are definitely old enough to answer.
I wouldn’t be happy.

Thank you everybody!
I've not spoken to anybody yet, kids are at school and I'm at work so haven't had the time to phone nanny yet, I will speak to her when I get home at 4 ish.
Don't know whether the kids said something or not to the nanny, and if they did whether she thought that they just wanted more food!?

School is a private school (if that makes a difference?) and told me that DD asked for two pieces of fruit at snack time (very unusual for her) because she was hungry, so I assume the teacher asked or she said she hadn't eaten breakfast. School fed both of them then though.

It's just a miscommunication. Let the nanny know and be more careful to communicate where the dcs are up to in their morning routine. I doubt it will happen again.

Don't beat yourself up.... I got a call from school asking why DD wasn't in, I assured them she was, and there must have been miscommunication, they apologised.
I then discovered she was ill in bed upstairs!!!!

I’m a nanny and I would 💯 I’d asked have they had breakfast!

I can't believe the school phoned you about that!

Seems like a misunderstanding.

Did you ask the nanny?

What did nanny say?