Work Christmas do

[Abimoo]

Am I being daft? We had our work christmas party last night. My boss got tired around 12ish and left 1 of the lsds money to buy more drinks. He was very uncomfortable about having that kind of responsibility so he asked would i mind it. No problem. I was having a great time until the night was over. 3 of us left and I had a room there and they were trying to get a taxi. 1 of the lads started messing saying he was staying with me. In the end he said he was joking. They had to wait awhile for the taxi and he started asking me for the leftover cash. I said what for. For the taxi he said. No. No one else got taxi money. I said goodnight and went to leave. He got really aggressive. I said no and headed for the lift. He started swearing and shouting f words at me in the lobby so everyone heard. I was so upset I wanted to drive home to my family. I didn't, I'm not stupid. But he is wrong right?

Of course he was wrong. What a knobhead.

Thank u. I think the most upsetting thing was. We had such a laugh and it was turning on a light. Just switched. So horrible.

Report him to HR also let your boss know.

I’m not surprised you’re upset.

My hubby said report him too. But I've already been the victim of sexual abuse in the workplace. And I'm not sure.

Tell your boss, and HR. He was very very wrong.

Omg! Awful. Give the change to your boss and tell your boss & HR how he behaved.

Not cool of him at all. And you must tell your boss.

Be factual. Be unemotional. But tell.

Definitely report. Sounds like you had plenty of witnesses. Staff in hotel must’ve heard too.

I'm afraid they will say 'it was just the drink'. 'oh he had too much to drink'. You know the way people use drink as an excuse. Why can't people take responsibility for their mistakes.

Thanks folks. My heart is saying report him. Just feels like thats all I've done this year. Another thing to bother my therapist with.

Is it possible it was caught on CCTV?

It sounds like you've had a tough year OP. I wouldn't report it to HR, but tell your boss what happened and leave it up to them to decide what to do. What happens at a work do can be taken as in the workplace from an HR perspective, I know someone who was sacked for getting in a fight at a work do. But you don't have to make that decision, let your boss do it. It might be that a quiet word is enough.

They may say it’s just the drink talking but it means everyone will be on notice in case it happens again, which I bet it won’t because he knows he’s being watched.

Never mind about them saying "Its just the drink" - an official Christmas "do" is an extension of the workplace - regardless of alcohol taken that man was verbally abusive to you. Would you expect that at tea break on Monday morning?

Absolutely report him to both your Manager and HR.

OP

I would maybe give him the opportunity to apologise when he sees you on Monday. (And I mean without any prompting).

And I would mention it to your boss when you give him his change.

I’m also amazed that there was change 😁... any works do that I’ve been on, the kitty would have been fully spent!

If anybody tries to minimise it with 'it was just the drink talking' then calmly point out that everybody else there was drinking, but nobody else became abusive or demanded taxi money home, that it put you into a difficult position (eg scared if he would try to take the money from you, report you for not giving him the money, report you for something unrelated as a payback, hold a grudge against you, embarrassed by his behaviour because it was still a company works do and it reflected badly on the company, etc - whatever it was that you were actually feeling, I'm just guessing.), soured the end of a lovely work christmas party and reflected badly on the company.

Maybe ask for some guidance on what you should do if this happens again, or that at the next event, something is put in the info to notify everyone that nobody will have a taxi home paid for. Or get somebody to reprimand him but also the next few times there's a company meal/outing/etc, ensure that somebody from HR reminds him in advance that he needs to be on his best behaviour.

YANBU at all. Report the aggressive fucker. Awful behaviour on his part. Please don't question yourself or think you're being daft. Call him out on this.

What did your other colleague do ?

I agree with most that it is worth mentioning to your line manager.

The other workmate stood there. He's a very quiet young lad and his English isn't great. He didn't know what to do. He did stand next to us so I think he would have stopped the aggressor if he he had tried something. Thank you for all the help. I feel better now. I haven't said anything to boss yet. I was waiting to see if he would apologise. Nothing so far. Will keep you posted.

He's had time to apologise, go and have a chat with your boss.

Hi all. So I had a chat with my boss. She found it strange he acted that way. She said she would note it and he will be watched from now on. So I'm ok with that. I doubt I will get an apology from him. I'm not going to go further with it. Thanks for the advice and support.