To be upset

[Pomsinspace]

So....cut a long story short.
My DD 3.5 doesn't see her Dad, never has but was seeing his family. His Sister which is my DD's Auntie and his Mother & Father which is my DD's Grandparents.
For past 3.5 years we've been seeing his Sister every 2 or 3 months and his Parents we were seeing too but they have been travelling around Europe so my DD hasn't seen them for around 18 months now.
They are home and have been for 3 months, we have had no contact from them.
His Sister we last saw in May and she moved in August and I sent her a text in September and said see you when you're settled. Nothing since.
My friends say not to contact them at all, as I have their niece, granddaughter and if they were interested in seeing her they would contact me, why should I chase them?
I don't want to give up as easily for risk later on when me daughter asks why she doesn't see them and i worry I haven't done enough to maintain the contact.
AIBU to be upset about this or was it just a matter of course?

I would at least get in touch with them once more, but would leave it at that if they didn't reply or make any effort to meet up again.

Once last chance. I’m passive aggressive so would probably put at the end ‘if I don’t hear from you I assume you don’t wish to remain in contact with dd’ and leave it to them. Would also screen shot it in case you need to show dd in years to come, that you tried your best.

Ok thanks. I was hoping either one of them would be in touch at Christmas or just before but who knows?
It's also my DD's birthday early January.
I will text the Sister I think, I haven't spoken to his Parents in 18 months anyway since they went travelling.

It works both ways. They have had more than enough time to get in touch with you, but it seems all one sided on your part. If they want to be a part of your DD life then they could do more to stay in touch.

What a shame they’re making no effort. I think it’s incredibly thoughtful of you to be considering how your daughter may feel in later life.

My son is adopted and every year we write to his birth parents. We have no response, however , I keep copies of the letters to show him we made an effort for his sake. Perhaps you could do similar?

I would probably contact them to say 'I've initiated recent contact because I thought you might want to see your granddaughter/niece. But I've had no response. Just so I don't waste any more time - I can only assume that you are cutting contact so if you don't respond to this I won't bother you again.'

I was really pleased initially that they wanted to maintain the contact even though their Son/Brother didn't. They are embarrassed by his actions I know this as they've said. I'm wondering if they are both seeing him a lot more than they were so they are cutting us off so they don't feel in the middle.
I just don't know. They are a fairly large family whereas I'm from a small family. Maybe to them my Daughter is just a number.

Strongmummy

Thanks yes I think I will. Screen shot the text messages etc.

I would maybe contact them one more time, not passive aggressively, although I don't know if I would do it just before Christmas or her birthday, it might look like you are chasing them for presents.

I also very much doubt she will wonder when she is older. My parents didn't keep in touch with their siblings and I had very little contact with aunts or grandparents. It was just the way it was, you really do not miss what you have never had

Alfie190

Yes I think you're right. I'll leave it for now and see if they get in touch or send an Xmas card etc then her birthday is very early in January. So I'll wait until after that. I'm doing a party for my daughter so if they get in touch before then I will invite them to the party.