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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ditch real life and go to University

87 replies

quietmoon · 09/12/2018 18:19

Quick backstory - I am in my late 30's with a 19 year old. I've been a single mother all of my adult life and had numerous convenient and necessary minimum wage jobs (that I have hated) and needless to say I am very unfulfilled and not content with my lot in life.
Going to University has always been a dream of mine but felt it just wasn't doable for one reason or another.
I cannot fathom spending the next 35 years in a job I hate with wages that barely get me from one month to the next. But at the same time it seems too far fetched to be able to quit my job and do something I love Sad

Are there any mature students on here with success stories? Do you work on top of your full time degree? Will I still be entitled to student loans etc? I am so clueless on the ins and outs of the process but very much determined to make this dream a reality and carve out a better future for my family. Any advice appreciated :)

OP posts:
Socksey · 09/12/2018 18:23

You will have the same entitlement to loans etc as any other student who has no degree. If you donrbhavevA levels you may need to do an access course or a foundation year. I teach many students older than you and they tend to be more driven than an 18 year old... they tend to do well and care as likely to progress into a well paying job as any other graduate (with that qualification)
Think about what you would like to do. Visit universities an colleges for open or applicant days.... you can apply direct to your university of choice and do not need to use UCAS.... go for it and good luck

NineNine · 09/12/2018 18:23

Do you know what you want to study? Do you want the experience of ‘going’ to university or could the OU be a possibility - might be easier to fit around work?

Socksey · 09/12/2018 18:28

Sorry about the typos .... on my phone here....

Original poster
quietmoon · 09/12/2018 18:33

Thank you @Socksey I would need to do the Access course, I have looked into the University closest to me and I would be able to do it there and then go on to do my degree there too. So that would be handy :)

@NineNine Yes I am set on doing a History degree and I have looked into the OU but really feel I would benefit from going to an actual Uni as I've literally spent the last 16 years at work or at home and so I think the social aspect would be good for me iyswim :)

OP posts:
Hairyfairy01 · 09/12/2018 18:34

Any idea on what type of course you fancy doing? Personally I would aim for one that lead to a job, nursing, teaching, occupational therapy etc rather than a more general degree. Is the OU a possibility or do you have a uni near you? You’re certainly not to old but I would think carefully about what course you wanted to do as it’s a lot of money and commitment.

cheeseinthebutterdish · 09/12/2018 18:35

What do you want to do when you graduate?

the trouble is that for all it's true that to a point "its never too late" to be realistic here, establishing yourself as a graduate in the job market in your mid 40s isn't necessarily going to get you where you want to go.

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 09/12/2018 18:37

University was very much "real life" for me. I supported myself finacially as the loans don't cover it all. This meant doing placement 40 hours a week, getting home at 6pm due to travel time then working from 8pm-2am before getting back up for work at 6am. Just working full time plus being a single mum to a toddler is miles easier.

Unicornandbows · 09/12/2018 18:39

I wouldn't personally do a general degree but rather one that leads to a job. I have done a general degree in the past and has resulted in zilch so I am now doing a nursing degree. There are many other degrees that lead to a job which I think would be better but at the end of the day it is entirely your choice

user139328237 · 09/12/2018 18:41

Honestly I wouldn't recommend a history degree to an 18byear old and the social aspect is probably about 4 hours a week of lectures where students have to be silent...

zenasfuck · 09/12/2018 18:43

What do you want to do with a history degree ?
It's gonna be a lot of work and dedication for what end ?

At your age you'd be better doing something more focused with a career route at the end of it

Almostfifty · 09/12/2018 18:46

My DSis and a good friend both went to university in their forties. One is a teacher, the other a nurse. It was definitely the best thing for them both.

I would also think that a degree where you could go into a career would be best, unless you want to be a history teacher.

lidoshuffle · 09/12/2018 18:46

More of a comment the social aspect: I went to university again in my 60s and expected to be the old duffer on the outside of things. Everyone was so friendly and inclusive (though I never went to all night raves etc Grin).

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 09/12/2018 18:46

I did my degree 'late'...started at 29.

I'd find a uni with a good rep for older students... It's makes all the difference! Rather than the only one in a class of 18 year olds!

Also think whether you want a city or campus type university

daisypond · 09/12/2018 18:46

I too would urge you to do a more vocational degree that will help you get a decent job at the end. If you do a history degree, it's possible that you'll need to get a further qualification (say, to become a teacher or social worker) in the end. Would either of these careers appeal in the long term?

taza87 · 09/12/2018 18:48

I'm 31. 2 years into my degree. I'm at college just now, applying for 3rd year entry to uni. Honestly, its the best thing I've ever done. I work 8hrs a week, get student loans and child tax credit. Also council tax exemption! It's demanding, but it was just what I needed. There are people older than me following the same path!

Good luck!

CowesTwo · 09/12/2018 18:48

I gave up work for three years at the age of 33 in 1987 and went to the University of London, graduating in 1990 age 36. I then got a much better job than I had before university. However, in those days I got a full grant and graduated with zero student debt. I also temped during the long vacs, and had my housing benefit paid by the local council. I loved every second of it, and as a mature student my modest handful of A levels and an enthusiastic interview got me an unconditional place. Universities like mature students!

Littlelambpeep · 09/12/2018 18:52

I would do something vocational and make sure it is meaningful. Totally agree that history would be interesting but are you interested in doing a PGCE also ?

cheeseinthebutterdish · 09/12/2018 18:53

What are you going to do at the end though, taza ... that's what people are saying!

shiningstar2 · 09/12/2018 18:58

I would go for time university rather than OU if you can op. I did full time and found it really enjoyable and fulfilling. Doing the same courses as the younger ones with the same deadlines made for a great experience and definitely mixing with the others doing full time was very motivating.

I was quite driven...as many mature students are but don't know how I would have coped doing it part time over a longer period. Some who kept jobs on and did it part time found it much harder and I would imagine doing the OU route would be harder again. A full time course provides daily access to tutors, seminars ext and there is always some other student to discuss issues with.

Don't know about finance though as its ages since I did it. Was very broke while doing it ...but definitely worth it though. Go for it op. Good luck.

shiningstar2 · 09/12/2018 18:59

full time university ...not time. Should read before posting.

WilburforceRaven · 09/12/2018 18:59

I'd do something vocational, tbh.

Ubertasha2 · 09/12/2018 19:05

You go for it, hun!

What are you interested in pursuing? How long are you happy to study for?

When I did my first degree at 19, there were several mature students, up to early 50s. They (a generalisation here, I know) all seemed to really know what they wanted and were committed and successful. More so than the younger ones at times.

I did my PGCE just before 30, and am now seriously considering training to be a dog groomer and/or an Occupational Therapist, now approaching 40. This is because I am starting a new work journey and need to retrain. I am sure both courses will have anyone from 18 up to- quite possibly- early 60s. I did a TEFL course and the students were aged 18-61, iirc.

Go for it; you have several decades of work left in you!

donajimena · 09/12/2018 19:05

I'm very middle aged. In my first year but I did a foundation last year. I'm so happy. I'm working harder than I would have at 18 ( the 18 year olds on my course work hard too but I was very immature) I agree with the other pps. You HAVE to do a vocational degree. Well the choice is yours but if you want to go straight into a well paid career think very carefully. I originally wanted to do radiography but I couldn't have managed the placements. So I'm doing an Environment Health degree and will work as an Environmental Health Officer upon graduation. Good luck.

Hellomumsne · 09/12/2018 19:06

I'd also recommend to do something vocational or plan to do a pgce afterwards. I'm a literature graduate and the years of no prospects were no fun afterwards. I had to do two top of qualifications to finally get out of the struggling and low wage bracket. Although personally, I also agree history would be really enjoyable and personally enriching. But it depends if you have that money to spare to do this as a hobby for three years.

Socksey · 09/12/2018 19:09

If you are set on History then consider what you will do after.... the obvious one us teach but aside from that it also allows you access to graduate programmes where the actual degree is not what employers want but rather that you have one.... you would be eligible for management programmes as well as giving you access to jobs such bad intermediate to senior level administration in universities etc.... for example my cousin is a senior level research administrator in a top medical school having scraped a pass in a completely unrelated field, however she couldn't have got the job without it or even the grade below it and currently earns in the low to mid £30k per annum.
History is not a complete waste as many suggest but realistically you are unlikely to get a job as a historian..... or you might.... go with your heart if your body can afford it.