To lie for a DP being investigated by police

[lboogy]

Entirely hypocritical and inspired by the recent post about Ian Huntley wanting a sex change.

I was always torn by the vitriol towards his partner Maxine who lied to the police for him. At the time I thought if I felt the police were trying to stitch up my DP and I was convinced he was innocent I might just lie to protect him. I might even do it for a child if I felt they were innocent.

What say you?

OP I totally agree. Or not lie for my DP, but I'd know wholeheartedly he wasn't involved. I'm not sure that there were no red flags in that rship tho I also know how it is to have low self esteem and be in a toxic relationship and be blind to the obvious. She dsnt deserve the same degree of hatred as him though

In the real world, in the investigation into the disappearance of two missing children, HELL NO.

I would not even consider lying for my DH, or myself for that matter.

I always thought it was well known Maxine Carr was a victim of domestic abuse at the hands of Huntley. I think she deserves sympathy rather than excoriation.

Thirdly- you will delay the police investigation.
Imagine if you lied, and if the police had found out quicker, a life could have been saved? (I'm not speaking about this case here- just in general)

From what I read at the time he was violent and controlling so I put it down to that. Having been in such a relationship I could see kind of see why she did it - she was probably completely beaten down and in a nightmare fog of manipulation and not wanting to believe who he was. Having said that, I am not sure I would have done the same, and now, being free for nearly 10 years I definitely wouldn't.

Oh dear. Let it go.

I felt sorry for Maxine Peake and thank goodness she didn't do long time and has a new identity. She killed no-one and, fact, was one of his victims! Life ruined, that's enough.

Who knows, I might have believed my partner, when I was young I was gullible. I'm glad nothing so serious ever happened in my life.

Stop worrying about it.
Calm down, calm down :-) all over now. Hic.

Maxine Peake?

More likely to help an adult than a child? Weird.

I can understand people who would do it, if they truly believed the person they were lying for was innocent. (Or as another pp said if they were in a controlling/abusive reltaionship).

But I don't think I would. As sad as it sounds, you really can't be 100% sure. And even if they are innocent, surely lying puts them at greater risk in the long run as if the lies are discovered (which likely, during the course of a long investigation) it will make them look more guilty?
And I'd just have in the back of my head all the cases of people defending their partner/child etc with full conviction that they're innocent, only for the truth to all come out later.

I kinda know what you mean.

Part of me felt a bit sorry for her. If she was a bit dim and he was controlling and she thought that no way would he have had anything to do with it. If he then says something like "tell them you were with me because then they won't waste time investigating me when we know there's no need and they can concentrate on trying to find them".?.

Yes she was stupid....but I can see how it would happen.

Do you mean, would you lie if you had a horrible idea that they might have been involved, and didn't want it to become public knowledge that you were romantically involved with a murderer / (other criminal)? No, I wouldn't lie in that situation either.

MC must have ‘known’ IH was innocent. You could have driven a bus through her story. She didn’t expect it to be checked out or even given a second glance.

Do I feel sorry for her? A bit, yes.

I mean if you’re so utterly convinced that someone is innocent of murder, isn’t that MORE of a reason to tell the police everything you know? I can understand lying to the police to cover up a crime your loved one has committed. But how often nowadays (with forensics, CCTV, mobile phones etc) does someone get wrongly jailed for murder in this country? So why lie if you’re 100% sure they’re innocent?

Of course Maxine Carr shouldn't have lied for him, but she was in an abusive relationship and was a victim of coercive control. She was in no position to make a rational moral decision. She has to live with the knowledge that she helped a child murderer for the rest of her life. I feel sorry for her.

It has happened tbf japan

I don’t feel sorry for Maxine Carr in the slightest, she knew.

Even if I genuinely thought DP was innocent I wouldn't. I would be sorely tempted to but I'm not stupid enough to not see it would end up being caught out pretty much straight away with CCTV etc.

Having also been in an abusive relationship I can empathise with why she did it. I may have, at that point, done the same whilst in denial and not thinking clearly.

My abuser was involved in criminal behavior and managed to convinced me he hadn't done anything wrong, although he did nothing on the scale of what that vile cunt Huntley did - thank god.

If my current DP were investigated for something like this now then there's no way I'd lie to the police, but that's because I'm not in the fog of an abusive relationship and being mentally/physically/psychologically abused.

Would you rather be Maxine Carr or Angelina Mavrides.

Back around 1997 there was a woman (Angelina Mavrides) whose teenage son returned home in some distress. After questioning, he revealed that he'd been part of/witnessed a gang rape of a young woman.

The mother took him to the Police station.

A lot of people condemned her for allowing her moral compass to transcend instinctive family loyalties: others commended her actions.

Angelina Mavrides, the mother of one of a teenage gang convicted of the violent rape of an Austrian tourist in London yesterday spoke about how she told police that her son, Nicholas, now serving 10 years in prison, had been involved in the attack.

Despite death threats, she acted as a key police witness, identifying the other gang members involved in the rape of the women in King's Cross, last September.

Ms Mavrides, of Camden Town, told the News of the World that Nicholas, 16, told her about the rape the morning after.

She described how she cried, banged her head against the wall and was physically sick after seeing the story on television. Feeling close to a nervous breakdown, she talked to her social worker and then phoned the police. "They took Nicky away," she said. "I felt a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, like a whole load of mess had been wiped clean."

Wasn't it alleged that MC told IH to burn the bodies and that she knew more than she was letting on?

I'm afraid I wouldn't lie in a case as serious as this, no. Whether I would full stop does rather depend on the specific circumstances. I can imagine there would be some incidences in which I would.

That poor mother upthread- but I think she did the right thing. It must have been so hard for her to do.

Tidy yes, I’m sure I read that, and also that she’d bleached the whole house. She knew, or at least had serious doubts.

That's a shocking account arran but I agree the woman did the right thing. It would lay heavy on your conscience for evermore otherwise.

How much MC actually knew or didn't know - who can tell? I do think she's paid a heavy price though. One person abducted and murdered those two girls and it wasn't her.

My dh would never ask me to lie for him to the police, and I wouldn't offer. If he was innocent the evidence would prove that. You cannot just say someone did something without sound evidence to prove it.

I used to think that unswering loyalty to the ones I loved was paramount. Then I grew up.