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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

(Some!) older peoples attitudes to drink driving.

89 replies

CocoDeMoll · 09/12/2018 11:14

I suppose I’m not being unreasonable but I worry this time of year. Where I used to live I barely drive at all because it was a city but now I’m driving every day with my 2 dc it worries me. I often do the same evening journey with them and the amount of times I’ve been behind a car that’s obviously weaving a bit and not indicating etc. There is a big generational divide on the ‘I’ve only had a few’ attitude. My own dad is the worst and Im surprised he’s never been stopped for it. I’m ashamed to say I let him drive me and my dcs earlier this year newborn in my arms and dd on someone’s lap thinking he wasn’t over the limit (till he mounted the curb twice and it became clear). I used to work in a gastro pub and people of a certain age would happily down a skinful with food and think it was then ok to drive. I want to stress that NAOPALT but there’s definetly a diffeeence in attitude.

Do you think a campaign is needed especially this time of year aimed at 60+ year olds? Just want to stress for the third time that I know not all but from what I’ve seen many do have a different attitude to it.

OP posts:

Original poster

CocoDeMoll · 09/12/2018 11:45

It doesn’t that was a response to someone.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 09/12/2018 11:46

Why on earth did you travel like that?

MardyMavis · 09/12/2018 11:49

The bigger issue is you if he was pissed or not it's still fucking dangerous! There could have been other twats on the road that caused an accident. You are all out of order and should b ashamed.

OutragedERIC · 09/12/2018 11:50

Maybe a campaign is needed to target people in their twenties and thirties about the importance of seatbelts and carseats, and the damage that can be done to tiny bodies that become missiles in the event of a crash.

recently · 09/12/2018 11:53

This! Although there have been LOTS of campaigns so not sure why you think this was even remotely acceptable. Your post proves that campaigns don't work for a lot of people though, so you've answered your own question!

Mydogisforlife · 09/12/2018 12:02

There probably are some older people with that arrogant attitude, though not among my friends (who are mostly over 60).

The drivers of the cars that weave about here in the daytime though are young people texting. One young man recently killed a woman, a mother of young children who was driving them to school, in a horrific car accident for this very reason.

There are all sorts of dangerous, arrogant idiots on the roads, of all ages.

drquin · 09/12/2018 12:03

I've come across a few folk in recent years with a poor attitude to drink-driving ..... but age hasn't been the factor. The "older" couple involved - and I mean a 50yo female driver / 60yo male passenger - lived rurally, and that / lack of public transport was their justification. So whilst I disagree with the drink-driving still, age wasn't their motivator.

You seem to have a fairly small sample group, statistically-skewed I'd assume especially factoring in your own attitude to safety.

What use is a publicity campaign targeting the driver, if we are happy to get in the car with the drink-driver and with our own infant children?

Agustarella · 09/12/2018 12:05

Do you think a campaign is needed especially this time of year aimed at 60+ year olds?

Yes - a campaign of driving licence confiscations.

Sirzy · 09/12/2018 12:08

We obviously also need a campaign about why it is important to use car seats...

Nicknacky · 09/12/2018 12:08

Most of the crime reports I see at work of people caught drink driving are younger people. Of course it only tells us about the people who are caught but don’t think that the younger generation aren’t doing it because they are.

ciderhouserules · 09/12/2018 12:10

Actually I think you might have a point OP. The only people I know who think having a 'few' and then driving home is OK - are the over 60s.

I'm in my 50s and I wouldn't touch alcohol if I thought Id be driving. Friends of the same age, or younger, also don't drink if they are driving.

The 'kids on laps' is just as bad.

AmyDowdensLeftLeftShoe · 09/12/2018 12:11

OP you are not only ageist but stupid. My 60 year old brothers will not drive myself or my daughter, who is just 3 months, anywhere without a car seat.

Creatureofthenight · 09/12/2018 12:11

It was after a family meet up
What difference does that make? You should have planned how to get your children there and back safely.
Of course drink driving is stupid, dangerous, irresponsible and selfish, but you got in a car with a drink driver and failed to ensure that your children were safely restrained. You were breaking the law too.
If my dad was going to drive drunk, I’d give him an earful and nick his keys, not stick my baby in the bloody car with him.

alreadytaken · 09/12/2018 12:12

some young people's irresponsibility worries me greatly. They go out and binge drink. They get in cars driven by drunk drivers. They blow all their money on luxuries and expect the bank of mum and dad to fund their lifestyle. They allow their children to run riot without teaching them proper manners and take them into pubs when they should be in bed.

Any happier now?

kaitlinktm · 09/12/2018 12:16

Do you think a campaign is needed especially this time of year aimed at 60+ year olds?

Yes - a campaign of driving licence confiscations.

People who say this sort of thing will be singing a different tune when they are in their 60s. I hope I am still around to gloat. If not I could always come back and haunt them

For the record:

All the 60+ year olds I know (including me) are responsible drivers.
A couple of them have voluntarily stopped driving due to various health conditions.

I have never driven after drinking ANY alcohol - even back in the 70s
when I first passed my test.
All the drink drivers I know have been under 30

Just sayin'

CrabbyPatty · 09/12/2018 12:22

OP I think your point is lost in the fact that it is not safe or legal to have babe in arms in the car and another child on someone's lap. Therefore you're criticising others whilst showing very poor judgement yourself. This is regardless as to whether the driver was also over the limit. I think PPs are just concerned that you take that on board. As it's not really clear that you do.
However, I actually agree that my friends in their 20s and 30s are much more likely to abstain before getting in the car whereas my PILs and Grandparents don't seem to think the drink drive limit applies to them just because they're not steaming drunk.

DaysOfCurlySpencer · 09/12/2018 12:23

Of course all drunks, alcoholics and bad drivers are over 60, wonder why they are allowed a licence at all.

There are never cars full of young people careering all over the road and ending up in ditches or killing people that are driving sensibly are there? Or families with young children driving off from pub carparks and scraping the walls on the way out as they veer from side to side and dad driving.

Just because your dad is a prat it doesn't mean all mature people are as stupid. It must be inherited too, hence the way you took your children in the car.

PurpleWithRed · 09/12/2018 12:23

A 2-second google gets you to some government drink-drive data for anyone breathalysed at the scene of an accident.

The biggest age group caught driving over the limit is 30-39s (next are 25-29 and 20-24s) and about 2.5x as many men as women get caught.

Of course, it could be that older drunk drivers are not getting into accidents...

DontCallMeCharlotte · 09/12/2018 12:26

. In Australia, they double the demerit points at Christmas and other times of the year.

And they have random "breatho's". When I've been in Aus over Christmas, I've been stopped loads including once when they put a cordon up and stopped every single driver. They should do that here.

But then I'm more concerned about the mobile users which seems suprisingly rife amongst the middle aged.

bringbackthestripes · 09/12/2018 12:30

I let him drive me and my dcs earlier this year newborn in my arms and dd on someone’s lap

YABU not having either of your children in appropriate car seats.

Lunde · 09/12/2018 12:32

Of course anyone drink driving is stupid - but I'm really shocked that OP was prepared to travel at all with an unrestrained baby and child being used effectively as air-bags on people's laps. Even a minor shunt could have crushed and killed them. I don't understand why you would not insist on safe travel in car seats for your children

gamerchick · 09/12/2018 12:35

ashamed to say I let him drive me and my dcs earlier this year newborn in my arms and dd on someone’s lap thinking he wasn’t over the limit

Is this a wind up thread becsuse I'm struggling to believe someone who does stupid stuff like the above can sit in judgement of someone else.

redfairy · 09/12/2018 12:40

I don't think drink driving is age specific. There are idiots who drink, text, don't fasten up their kids, watch tv whilst driving... it's cross generational and we all need to be vigilant in letting these people know how wrong their actions are. This includes you and your dad.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 09/12/2018 12:42

Is this a wind up thread becsuse I'm struggling to believe someone who does stupid stuff like the above can sit in judgement of someone else

My thoughts exactly.

Romanmonkey · 09/12/2018 12:45

I’m still trying to understand how on earth you ended up in a (social and therefore not emergency) situation with 2 kids and no car seats. How incredibly irresponsible. Regardless of the drunk driving.

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