Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

AIBU To think that 9 is too young to have your own mobile phone?

24 replies

PhoneAge · 09/12/2018 10:50

My DD is 9 and is badgering me constantly for her own phone, saying that most of her class mates have one.
I feel it’s too young for her to have her own phone and think she should be enjoying the world of childhood at least until she goes to secondary school and is walking home on her own, then I think she should have her own phone.

Please tell me I’m not the unreasonable one!! 😬😬

OP posts:

PottyPotterer · 09/12/2018 10:56

Depends how much independence they have. I gave mine one at 8 as he was walking to school/playing out at that age. He's 10 now and only ever uses it to call and ask for more time when he's out playing football. Most of the time it's sat in the kitchen and he forgets he even has a phone. Some of the girls in his class have social media accounts though and there's been a bit of bother with that judging by the emails from the school. I would say it's fine if no social media/you have full access.

DarcieStarlight · 09/12/2018 10:59

A lot of children these days have a phone. We are in an age where technology is just the norm.
I would let your child have one but use time boundaries and don't let them have social media.

Forgottenmypassword · 09/12/2018 11:01

My son got his first one at 11, and my daughter will have to wait until the same, much to her annoyance. She is 8.

She has a tablet, I don't think she needs her own phone until she is taking herself to school.

EspressoButler · 09/12/2018 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmyDowdensLeftLeftShoe · 09/12/2018 11:03

They can have a phone but as it will be PAYG and one of your old ones, then they will have to be indoors connected to WiFi to do anything.

JacquesHammer · 09/12/2018 11:04

DD had one from 8. It was something she requested when her father and I were separating.

For us it’s been positive. She has no access to App Store (well she has access but can’t buy anything) and no social media, which is non-negotiable.

DiveBombingSeagull · 09/12/2018 11:06

Basic PAYG is a good solution if they are out playing / walking to friends / school without an adult. Gone are the days when there was a payphone on the street corner.

hallamoo · 09/12/2018 11:08

My DD3 had one when she was 9, but only because she has 2 older siblings and we had an old phone which was spare.

She used it only on WiFi (didn't have a SIM card), so used it to message her friends over WiFi and play games, so more like an iPod.

She got a SIM card for it when she was 10, because she was year 5 and walked home by herself during the summer term and would go to the park with her friends.

I would never have given DD1 a phone at that age, but I think the way we live/technology has changed, and has a 3rd child she is more grown up than DD1 was at the same age. We also don't have a landline, so if I pop to the shops for 10 mins and leave her, then she has a phone if she needs to contact me.

bridgetreilly · 09/12/2018 11:09

I don't think she needs a smartphone. Depending on your circumstances, a phone that makes calls and texts might be reasonable. But in general, secondary school is early enough.

flowery · 09/12/2018 11:12

I always said secondary school. In the event DS1 had one for Christmas in year 6, and was the last in his class. We got him it then because he had not nagged at all and had accepted our secondary school timeline without complaint.

DS2 is 9 and does have a phone, purely because he had changed schools this year and now goes on the minibus (with DS1 usually), so I wanted him to have a phone, partly so I could track him there and home again.

If he’d stayed at the local school he would not have had a phone until year 6.

Original poster

PhoneAge · 09/12/2018 19:37

Thanks... pretty much what I was thinking then. I want her to have one when she is walking home from school. She has access to a family tablet, so think I’ll stick to my guns!

OP posts:

Rinoachicken · 09/12/2018 19:40

DS1 just got his first phone for his 9th birthday. He plays games on it, takes it if he goes to the park at the end of the road, and he takes takes it to his dads on contact weekends and uses it in the car. I installed google family link so I can lock it down and control how and when he uses it - really recommend that.

TheBigBangRocks · 09/12/2018 19:53

Definitely don't need one at nine, none before high school here. At nine mine were never without an adult so no need for one. They can play games on their tablets.

SixToEightInchesOfSnow · 09/12/2018 19:59

Ds is 9 and he has one. He does ride his bike to the (close by) shop, round the block and to karate in the summer time. Most of his friends from his hobby, who live in another county, have one and he what’s apps them.

NotExactlyHappyToHelp · 09/12/2018 19:59

DS is 9 and has asked for one. I’ve gone for a compromise.

He’s getting an iPod touch for Christmas and a cheap PAYG for walking to his mates etc.

I figured the iPod was a better shout as no access to the internet unless on WiFi so at home or Nans. I can tie the Apple ID to mine as well so he’ll have to get me to authorise every download etc.

winterisstillcoming · 09/12/2018 20:20

A girl I'm DS' s y4 class has an iPhone 6. Mine won't be getting one until he needs one.

Printerneedsink · 09/12/2018 20:26

It's hard to define "need" when it comes to mobile phones. Nobody actually needs one. But they might be useful to have in certain situations. Would it be useful for her to have one? What does she want it for?
I don't think spending a lot of time on "tech" is good for anyone, but it's useful to be able to call someone in an emergency.

Mother40 · 09/12/2018 20:28

My son won't get one until goes to secondary school of just before. I don't think there's any need before then, and most other people i talk to about it tend to buy one at that sort of time.

SpiritedLondon · 09/12/2018 20:30

Yeah I’ve seen online predators in action so no won’t be happening here.

DeezMutts · 09/12/2018 20:36

My yr5 dd walks to and from school without a phone as do pretty much all of her friends. It’s not a thing here at this age. I’d rather she didn’t have one anyway as I feel she’s possibly safer walking without one - the children that do have phones walk along staring at them and not looking where they’re going!

Believeitornot · 09/12/2018 20:38

If she wants a phone get her a basic one which only calls and texts. No need for internet access...

My nine year old isn’t getting a phone until he starts secondary despite the bleating about his friends. I’ve checked with the mums, they don’t.

ShadowWeaver · 09/12/2018 20:45

I've bought Dd2(10) one for Christmas as she'll be walking to school on her own from September and also I'm thinking of letting her go into town with dd1 (14) so will feel better if she can contact me.

JustABetterPlayer · 09/12/2018 20:49

Yes it is. Until mine are at high school (where they will walk) there will be no mobile phones.

Mumofasleepthief · 09/12/2018 21:03

My eldest dad is 8 and has one. Is just to keep in her bag though and only to be switched on if I’m not there at pick up after school (live rurally so she can’t walk home easily) because of traffic etc. We actually first got it as she was being bused to and from school but I nearly missed getting her as had flat tyre and no way to let her know and didn’t want her panicked. She has no real interest in it yet though...

Flip