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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was a bit mean...

81 replies

Anon1993 · 09/12/2018 09:00

A local charity has recently been awarded several thousand pounds of funding. They are using that funding to pay for various clubs and events in our local area; which is incredibly deprived.

Now I’ll declare my bias first; I have a quiet personal issue with the chair of this charity; which may be colouring my thinking. So here’s the aibu:

As part of this funding her charity (and everyone round here does think of her when they think of the charity), are paying the expenses for me to put on a community event next saturday.

Basically, I’ve organised and paid for everything needed for the event; and then I’ve put my receipts in to claim the money back. One of them got turned down - £15ish on refreshments to feed the volunteers at the event.

Due to the nature of the event, most of the volunteers are children; many of whom due to the demographics of the area are free-school meals; and who will be at venue from 11am to 10pm. When I asks why this money had been denied; she told me they could just bring a pack-up. I reminded her that many of these kids are fsm; so wouldn’t be expected to bring pack up to school trips or similar; and in this case we’re giving up their whole Saturday near enough for the benefit of the commmunity.The answer was still no.

Okay then - I’ll pay for it.

The thing that annoys me is she has approved money for refreshments to sell; with the money going to her charity, she has approved marketing with her name all over it (Yes, her name not her charities name), but she will not approve £1.50 per child so a group of disadvantaged, likely fsm, kids, who are volunteering for their community, don’t have to worry about lunch.

OP posts:
Anon1993 · 09/12/2018 09:01

Pressed too early!

I meant to say, aibu to find this a bit mean or am I just letting my bias find fault where there is none?

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YeOldeTrout · 09/12/2018 09:01

bloody hell yes that's very mean. I feel Angry for you.

Tirednessandmoretiredness · 09/12/2018 09:03

That's very mean. I would contact the body who awarded the funding to let them know...

PatchworkElmer · 09/12/2018 09:05

I work for a charity, and we absolutely budget for volunteer expenses for events like this.

YeOldeTrout · 09/12/2018 09:06

For some comparisons: when we run school discos we often get pupils helping out, as crowd control, sweeping afterwards, taking money etc.

Not always, but esp. if busy or warm, we'll give them a free drink. Even though that's only 1.5-2 hrs of their time. Similar when I was involved with cadets, we'd get them some free sweets or a drink often when they turned up for fund-raisers. When DD rehearsed for school musicals, that might be a 10 hr day. We parents kicked in £1-£2 for jacket potato tea, but that barely covered costs and it was about 50 kids to feed, and virtually none from a deprived background.

DocusDiplo · 09/12/2018 09:10

Really nasty behaviour. The word 'charity' can often cloud the reality of horrible a d stupid people running local events for their own benefit. How petty! Well done on organising the event and hope it goes well! Thanks for paying for the kids' meals - sorry you have to. Maybe you can make a big show and dance about it - talk about how YOU MADE THEM THIS MORNING as you fellt SORRY FOR THR POOR KIDS in hearing distance of relevant people as MS X REFUSED TO PAY EXPENSES.

Pachyderm1 · 09/12/2018 09:10

That is mean. I used to be a charity fundraiser and we always budgeted to feed volunteers. Wouldn’t have dreamed of asking them to bring their own food.

Anon1993 · 09/12/2018 09:11

When I asked I was told there was a budget for this, but now I’m told that it “doesn’t meet the charities aims”

I wouldn’t mind - but I’ve not bought the kids caviair! It’s just a load of pack-up type stuff and was going to lay a little buffet on in the break room for them during the break between sessions. It works out at £1.50 per volunteer.

I’m not sure about complaining to the funders, is that a done thing?

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Cranky17 · 09/12/2018 09:11

Is there a commitee? She’s probably head of it? Bring it up during the next meeting.
But no yanbu she is, but clearly she’s on her own agenda of self promotion

Holidayshopping · 09/12/2018 09:13

Thts really rubbish! Does anyone else know she’s turned it down?

I’d wait till it’s all over and put in a complaint. Is there a board of trustees or something?

arsearsearse · 09/12/2018 09:13

Yes, that is extremely mean. But didn’t you agree a budget before you started spending? Is there a formal agreement between you and the charity? If the charity has been awarded money it will probably have had to submit a detailed budget for how it will all be spent. So either she didn’t predict the volunteer expenses and doesn’t have the cash, or she did and she’s defrauding you. If it’s the former she should have some contingency anyway and £15 is unlikely to break the bank.

Bluntness100 · 09/12/2018 09:15

No, it's not a bit mean, it's incredibly mean. What a horrible woman.

Anon1993 · 09/12/2018 09:16

There is a committee of 3 trustees; but she’s the chair, her best friend is the secretary; and the third member has already said he agrees with her that the kids can just bring pack up.

RE: making a song and dance about it; I’m not fussed about kudos for the event. I enjoy doing it; the volunteers seem to enjoy doing it and the feedback at past events (that a few other volunteers and I have fundraised for ourselves) has shown that the public enjoy them...

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FrazzyAndFrumpled · 09/12/2018 09:17

YANBU. You could mention it to the Fundraising Regulator?

www.fundraisingregulator.org.uk/complaints

Anon1993 · 09/12/2018 09:18

We didn’t agree a formal budget; there is one for the whole project; but she just told me “spend what you normally spend on this type of thing and put your receipts in”

We’ll be doing it again next year without this charity’s help like we have in the past.

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Namechangeforthiscancershit · 09/12/2018 09:20

I’m sure she is a nightmare but she is right that providing a personal benefit to volunteers is not the aim of the charity and a lot of charities are going massively over the top in not paying volunteers’ expenses in order to avoid criticism from CC or anyone else.

I mean clearly she is wrong as they are only eating this food at the event and not taking it home but that may be where she is coming from.

I’d pay it personally too in your position especially if only £15.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 09/12/2018 09:20

We’ll be doing it again next year without this charity’s help like we have in the past

I think this is definitely the best plan.

StorminaBcup · 09/12/2018 09:26

I agree that reasonable volunteer expenses are permitted especially, in this instance where it's for children. Can you approach a local supermarket to provide some or all of the items needed for the packed lunch for a small promo at your event? We hosted a fun day and Tesco provided 400 buns, 200 burgers and 200 hotdogs. Co-op are really good for things like this too.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 09/12/2018 09:28

Oh yes good call/ our local Co-Op have been really good when we’ve done events

alansleftfoot · 09/12/2018 09:28

Blow the whistle

BewareOfDragons · 09/12/2018 09:37

She's nasty and clearly only about self-promotion, not actually supporting people that actually need help.

How vile. I'd call her out on it publicly. Spread the word.

Anon1993 · 09/12/2018 09:42

I’d be reluctant to am all her out publicly. This goes back to the issue I have with her; but she is very well liked by a lot of local people; and any one who speaks against her or her charity tend to get shouted down. She’s seen as the the go to woman to get things done in the community; people talk about getting appointments with her and how she does so much for the community... which is fine: credit where credit is due... but she was doesn’t seem to do any of the actual leg work. She chairs the meetings and then turns up at the events to “ensure everything is done properly”... sorry! I’m letting my own bias show now; but you see where I’m coming from?

Funnily enough a lot of people who do local volunteering seem to have an issue with her...

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Mummyoflittledragon · 09/12/2018 09:42

Some people have no idea how others live. They all sound very middle class and totally lacking comprehension that these children may not eat if you don’t feed them.

drquin · 09/12/2018 09:43

Whilst it's not good form, it may be reasonable not to pay to feed the volunteers. Ive been to a mix where food had been provided, and not - where it has, it's usually been because corporate sponsorship has been used, rather than using funds-raised. So, I'm on the fence, sorry that doesn't help.

However, I'd be more concerned about her personal name being on the charity promotional material. That's potentially misleading. "Anytown kids club" is not the same as "Jean's kids club, Anytown".

Anon1993 · 09/12/2018 09:44

I’m sure she does comprehend... she works in the local food bank!

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