This women's behaviour

[decentwoman]

Right so this is going to be long!
I lived with a man from being 20 to being 34! Absolutely in love, had bought a house bla bla bla
Tragically after 14 years together he died, very suddenly, heart attack in the middle of the night, I was absolutely devastated and then came the news. That he had been seeing someone else & she had given birth to his baby 6 months before he died.

I cannot begin to tell you the absolute pain & grief this caused me, I was absolutely on my knees for a long time!

Anyway years have passed, more than 10, I am very happily married but by the time things settled down I was too old for children of my own etc etc

I was at a funeral last week & the mother of his child was there, she knew who I was from day one & at one point at the wake she walked up to someone stood next to me to show them a picture of 'her son '- while staring me right in the face.
So my question is - AIBU to think that was a really shit thing to do to someone? She's got a child, his son, that I always wished I had, why on earth would you do that to someone?

I'

@decentwoman I'm sorry, some women are just dicks. Don't overthink it. She is, overthinking, enough for you both. Hugs.

That was very unkind of her, but implies she’s got more issues about the whole situation than you do.
So sorry to hear your story. I’m sure there is loads more you haven’t told us because that must have been a nightmare.
So glad you found your feet and are happily married xx

Bitchy thing to do

Thank you! You know when you have that WTF moment! I was happy to completely ignore her but she obviously wasn't having that!

Very bitchy what a cow. But also (devils advocate) we can’t just blame her, she didn’t cheat on you and you don’t really know what happened (what he promised her etc). But that aside I still don’t know why she would do that

Loving oh god yes! But it's all such a long time ago!
My mantra has been that the best revenge is living a good life and I have eventually,
I've been out tonight with my lovely husband & lovely friends but I just keep thinking about it - hence the late post!
Why on earth would you do that to another human being🙁

I presume she has massive issues regarding this. Her and her son were hidden. You were important enough to be publicly in his life. He paid a mortgage with you and had his dinner with you and spent Christmas with you. You were the one planning his funeral and getting the “sorry” cards from people. She was insignificant. And then you were free to move on with your life and be happy (and I presume mortgage free?). Whereas she’s stuck with a liars child and a cloud of shame over her and everyone now knows what he and she did.

Don’t let it bother you. You’re free of him - she isn’t and never will be. She’s jealous and wanted to hurt you or gage your reaction

You wouldn't.
I imagine it's because he never left you.

jas I've had 10 years to deal with fact he was a cheating bastard, I'm not making any excuses for him!

Just thought it was a really cruel thing to do!

decent don’t dwell on it too much. Allow yourself a bit of hurt and memory (but only a little!) then let it go.
This woman really doesn’t matter. You have a lovely DH and a good life.
I think you are suffering from a case of ‘ohmypastwhatmighthavebeenitis’
Easily cured, look at today and smile xx

It was cruel,but she can't know how cruel, as that's your information that she can't have. She's doesn't know your view on having DC.

She's simply trying to feel significant somehow (as she's doesn't feel significant).

All of it is horrendous ansbyes, he's the one that instigated all this and dtd on you. Leave it all behind you, its good you are happily married. The perfect antidote to all that.

Sock you're right, I was with his brother, still considered part of his family even though I am now married
Mozzie sadly he did, just not by choice!

Anyway thank you, you have made me feel better - it was an unkind thing to do - glad I wasn't being precious