To not show proof I am not lying

[Wigwambam10]

Named changed for this
My husband has accused me of lying about something really stupid. He won’t take my word for it.
Basicly I told him something that are DS used as a baby has sold really well which it had (on eBay) the sellers asked to pay on pick up which was fine but couldn’t pick up for a week as away. I asked if my inlaws who have a room they don’t use a lot could store it as the people in question live closer to them. This was done.

In meantime the buyers kept asking silly questions about the item which made me think they are going to pull out of this (I am a vetran ebayer and you get a nose for these things). I told DH this and he raised an eyebrow but I though he was raising an eyebrow at the sellers

Anyway this morning they pulled out which did not surprise me and said they would notify eBay. Husband gets really huffy when I tell him and says he is just going to take the pram to the tip. He keeps being huffy and it turns out he thinks I lied about it selling in the first place!!!! He said it’s unbelievable that the sellers went for the buy it now offer and then pulled out.

Anyway I go mad and accuse him of not trusting me, he stays in a huff all day and I just know he is waiting for me to show him proof. Anyway he finally comes out with it that why don’t I show him the messages on eBay then he will know I am not lying. I said that won’t make a difference to us, you will be happy but I will know you don’t trust me

I tend to delete stuff off eBay when it’s delt with as it gets all clogged up but I have emails that show proof I am not lying. Including a confirmation from eBay that the buyer no longer wants the item

I am really against showing him them as it is such a stupid thing to accuse me off and also he should bloody trust my word.

After the birth of DS I had PND and PTSD after an awful birth and I did tell some untruths, mainly that appointments had been cancelled by the hospital when I had cancelled them. It was because I was scared to death of going anywhere near a hospital. Because of all that he at the time threatened to leave and said he did not love me anymore. I did manage to pull myself together with help and medication and he accepted I was not in my right mind

He also had bit of a porn addiction which he actually told me he needed to watch porn before having sex with me to get him in the mood. A few times he said he had stopped and a caught him out

However now I trust him and I was just hoping for the same with him. Especially as I was very mentally ill at the time I was telling untruths

Sorry really long but I don’t want to drip feed but aibu to think he should trust my word. And also why would anyone lie about something so stupid and even worse he thinks I would lie about something so stupid. The whole think is so silly I feel a bit stupid posting about it

you are making it worse - just show him.

You lied a couple of times when you had PTSD because he didn’t understand why you didn’t want to go to hospital. It hardly makes you an untrustworthy liar fgs. It makes HIM a twat though.

Then he tells you he has to watch porn before having sex with you (that’s beyond awful).
HE lies about not doing it anymore but gets caught out.

He accuses YOU of lying.
He’s moody.
He’s grumpy,

...I’m sorry, but I think he’s trying to make you look like the bad guy because he wants to be with someone else.

But to be honest, whether there’s someone else or not, I’d be out of there. He’ll grind you down to a shell of the person you used to be. You and DS deserve much better than this.

Good grief! Just show him the damn emails. Seriously, why create extra drama.

If someone had lied to me previously, I would expect complete transparency.

Actually, if someone had lied to me previously, to the extent that I couldn't trust them, I would end the relationship.

I am confused as to why he would think you were lying about the pram anyway, it's not like you have anything to gain by doing so?

On the other hand I can see why you lied about the hospital appointments and I am surprised that he would even be holding that against you at all. After a traumatic labour / birth experience avoiding the people who caused you the trauma is a pretty normal thing to do.

I would show him the emails but I would also be questioning where your relationship is going if your partner is willing to hold things against you so cruelly. He sounds like a jerk.

The only reason not to show him the emails the very SECOND he expressed doubt, was because you're more concerned with your own ego and being "right" than you are with having a calm and problem-free relationship.

Everything else surrounding this is completely and utterly irrelevant. His actions are irrelevant. Your actions are irrelevant.

There is absolutely no reason not to show the emails apart from some childish need to "be right" or "Oh you doubt me, you're a bad person, so I'm going to not show you because you shouldn't doubt me" or some crap.

You should have pulled out your phone/laptop and showed him the emails the very second he said out loud "You're making the whole thing up". Stop being so petty, and do what you need to do in order to put this to bed before it blows up even more than it already has.

Ask him if he is prepared to apologise if you show him the proof.

I can get actually see my DP ever caring about something like this.

He sells stuff on eBay and it’s never an issue for me either I don’t care how much he sells stuff for it’s never been an issue maybe I’ll say oh wow well done if he’s sold something for a lot more than he though he would. But that’s it.

Your H sounds really horrible.

Mine would support me if I was suffering from fear of going back to hospital for appts after having been badly treated he’d be my main advocate. Not force me to attend appts I was scared to attend.

He just sounds like an unsupportive nasty horrible person. And he’s the liar.

Is the sale of the pram somehow linked to the traumatic birth stuff? Just such an odd reaction for him to have. If, however, he wanted you to get rid of the pram ( possibly not wanting more babies) and then thought you’d lied about it I guess there’s a tiny bit more sense in this.

If none of this applies and it could equally well have been a wheelbarrow then he’s an arse but show him the proof to shut him up and then demand a bunch of flowers.

I've been in a similar situation.
In retrospect, I'd show him. I'd also sit him down and talk about how his behaviour with browser history makes me feel.
2 paranoid people who refuse to address the situation is a recipe for divorce.
You are both dancing around a situation that could very easily destroy everything you have.
Right now you have the power to stop it.

Wish I'd stopped dancing around it. Wishes don't help when you've already screwed up a marriage.

Why does he care so much about the pram?

had your earmarked the money for something?

Had you promised to get rid of it, and he thinks you are dragging your feet by making up a pretend sale?

Or something else??

OP said she deletes the emails during sales. You get so spam from eBay.
OP I think he is trying to distance himself from you. Could he think you secretly want to keep the buggy for another baby, his behaviour stinks. He is definitely trying to make you be the bad guy. I would be very suspicious. You deserve better