To find it really hard to have girl friends?

[Icecreamdreams]

I feel like I’m quite a social person, I like talking to people & being around people but I find it really hard to genuinely connect with or care about a friend. I love my partner & I love my kids, undoubtedly no problems there. But when it comes to friendships I can take it or leave it. I have a bunch of ‘friends’ but if they all disappeared tomorrow I don’t think I’d be that bothered. Am I just really selfish? Does anyone else feel the same way?

I feel the same way. Especially since having kids. I just find it hard to be emotionally invested in people these days after being let down in the past. Especially when I have my kids that I have to put first.

I've always been the kind of person who prefers my own company though. I do find other people draining a lot of the time.

I sound like a right miserable fuck! But I can be really social and like getting to know people. I just don't really like things beyond a superficial level.

@fatted

But I can be really social and like getting to know people. I just don't really like things beyond a superficial level.

Sums me up perfectly. I’m really good at superficial friendships, anything further than that I’m rubbish. Why do you think that is? I haven’t really been let down in the past (not enough that I was bothered by it anyway!)

I used to think that way and then I moved to another country where I couldn't speak the language. I had no friends. I couldn't talk to people or connect with them and I realised how much those casual chats we have with people daily are important for us and how much we don't realise how much they stabilize us and make us humans feel that we are fine being alone and not in need of "meaningful" social interactions. Genuinely having no friends at all is very different. For more introverted people weekly casual social interactions are enough to feel content, but without them at all, it is a very different kettle of fish.

You may be right @LinoleumBlownapart. I do enjoy my casual interactions & wouldn’t want to be without them.