To ask for advice ds 8 and violent tantrums

[Magentaorwagenta]

I am honestly on my knees.

We have been through a difficult time and I know he is not feeling great , or settled.

I do everything I can to be loving, fair, boundaried, healthy lifestyle, play time with him, play dates, family time, individual time.

His tantrums are now lasting for an hour and a half at time, I do everything I can ie ignoring him, conforting him, being present with him telling him I love him.

We agreed when he was calm that he would leave the room without being aggressive towards me if he was getting upset. Tonight he threw something at my head while I was calmly asking him to leave the room as agreed. I absolutely flipped.

Obviously this cannot continue. Please if anyone has any advice I would be so grateful. Or if you had an 8 year old who was like this, what were the teen years like??

When my DD stopped having to see her abusive dad the tantrums stopped for us. I'm still scared of her temper because it was so epic. Easy to see how people get caught up in everyone working to avoid that in a household.

He sounds like my son.

He holds it all together at school. But he’s struggling academically. He comes home and all the frustration and anger just tips over.

I think school need to be looking into his difficulties. You might find interventions at school will help the frustration at home.

He may nit be able to express his feelings so it’s coming out in aggression. When he is calm, try and talk to him about what’s worrying him and how you can help. X

Can I just be point out that most dyslexics can read perfectly well - they may struggle with handwriting and spelling (spelling phonetically)
They tend to have memory and processing issues and seen as lazy

This can be linked to dyspraxia

He may have any of the above mentioned issues and he needs to be referred so school can suppprt him better

maybe look up Dialectical Behaviour Therapy online, I learned some stuff with it in how to handle my explosive child.
It helps you get into the right mindset to deal with your child and is very strong on teaching children ways in which to cope with and handle their strong feelings.

And dont forget passionate people are the most fun people! You (we)(they) can do it!