I love xmas, but I do get sad now I have no parents, my mum died 18 years ago now from cancer I was quite young and always miss her at Xmas, now my dad has died also from cancer and I miss going to see him with my children, and being spoilt myself really.
Now though I have lost my sister, she's still alive but she unfortunately has never been that close to me, I always wanted to be she is 10 years older than me and I guess I always looked up to her, particularly when our mum died, but she just pushes me away and really depends on her relationship status whether she wants me or not! We used to see each other every Xmas usually Boxing Day or the day after, we'd meet with the children swap presents, then go and carry on with life. But really that has all stopped, a few years ago I tried to make the normal arrangements but she said oh we're going to a pantomime that day and then going away, sorry I just didn't think. I thought oh 😳 was a bit shocked, I continued to try and meet up but she didn't really seem to want to suddenly she was doing everything with her new partner and didn't really want to know me, particularly as she included my dad in her plans but not us.
A few years on and she didn't come to my wedding as had other plans and she's moved house and we've never been invited. She doesn't bother with my dcs which he really upset me as they have no grandparents either! My husbands family do their best to include them in things but it's not the same.
I just understand my sister, but there has always been an element of that. So here comes xmas with no family of my own 
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