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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have been full on snotty weeping because of this?

44 replies

ApolloandDaphne · 08/12/2018 17:13

I was putting up our Christmas tree this afternoon. A real one which DH had put into the usual container for me. He then went off to walk the dog.

I had literally finished putting the past decoration on whilst standing on some low steps and i could feel it start too topple. I tried to stabilise it whilst also coming down the steps. I could not have held on to it for the entire time DH was out so i tried to feel around to see what was wrong...

... long story short the entire tree ended up on top of me. All my most precious baubles that i have had for years were smashed.

The main one i was upset about was one that has the name of my DD who died on it. I have had it for 23 years, since the year she died and it was always at the top of the tree - she was my angel.

DH can see that it is quite sad this bauble has broken and i get it is not the end of the world but i was distraught. Full on sobbing and snotting. I am not an overly emotional person. DH can't quite get why i was so upset.

WIBU?

P.S. I have Gin and feel a lot better now.

OP posts:
LittleMissNaice · 08/12/2018 17:19

Oh gosh Sad snotty crying completely acceptable. I'm sorry this happened.

I wonder if there's any way to preserve some of the spirit of your baubles? Perhaps a cutting from the tree you could press?

MrsTommyBanks · 08/12/2018 17:19

Yanbu. I'd react exactly the same Flowers

BlackeyedGruesome · 08/12/2018 17:20

absolutely not unreasonable at all. bauble is a precious reminder of you beloved dd, and thus is more precious even than ones you have had afor a long time.

Flowers
Purpleartichoke · 08/12/2018 17:21

Those baubles are decades of memories. It’s ok to be upset. You need to cry and let it out so that you can move forward. Don’t feel bad about that.

Bambamber · 08/12/2018 17:21

I would be upset too Flowers

Could you maybe get a clear fillable baubles, crush up the broken baubles, and pop the little bits inside the fillable baubles? I don't know how well it work but may be a way of being able to safely keep the bauble

AnyFucker · 08/12/2018 17:23

Well, that made my eyes and nose prickle and I don't even know you so yes, it is very sad. I am sorry about your daughter.

nicoala1 · 08/12/2018 17:24

Gin is good for this type of trauma for sure.

You will be fine later on and will laugh your socks off. Pity someone didn't film it for posterity!

Joinourclub · 08/12/2018 17:24

Oh I’m sorry. Tears and snot and copious amounts of gin totally justified.

Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 08/12/2018 17:24

Bits of bauble are all swept up and in the bin now. I have ordered another one with her name on. It's not exactly the same but I am not sure I can have a tree at Christmas without her being part of it in this small way.

OP posts:
CryingMessFFS · 08/12/2018 17:25

YANBU at all Flowers

Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 08/12/2018 17:25

And thank you all for understanding and not thinking i am a fool!

OP posts:
nicoala1 · 08/12/2018 17:25

Sorry about your daughter also. But she will probably laugh up there or wherever she is also. It probably brought all the loss right back to you just now.

She will never leave your heart anyway. Hugs to you.

whatstheplanphil · 08/12/2018 17:27

Not unreasonable at all. In your situation I'd would of done the same. I'm sorry about your daughter Flowers

BiteyShark · 08/12/2018 17:28

You are not a fool. Most people would be very upset.

So glad you have ordered another one and whilst it won't be the same, all your memories will be Flowers

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 08/12/2018 17:28

Are you OK, not injured I mean, no i'd be hugely upset also, its not just a ordinary bauble, its unique to you. Flowers

Kelsoooo · 08/12/2018 17:29

I’d have reacted much the same, after swearing and ranting and raving.

I’m sorry for your loss, both your daughter and then the bauble.

silkpyjamasallday · 08/12/2018 17:30

Yours was a reasonable response given the circumstances. I'm so sorry about your daughter, I'm glad you've found a suitable replacement Flowers

chunkyjumper · 08/12/2018 17:31

Perfectly understandable reaction! Not a fool at all x
I have baubles with the name of my son who died, his baby’s first Christmas ones etc. I’d be gutted if they broke.
Big hugs x

SpiderJoe · 08/12/2018 17:31

Nicolala1. I don't think that the OP would care to have a reminder of her deceased daughter's bauble being smashed.

YANBU OP. I'm so sorry that happened and so sorry that you lost your daughter. I'm still very upset over an item associated with my grandmother being lost. I can't imagine how you feel. I know that it isn't the same but I hope that the new one will hold precious memories for you too, in time. Hugs for you.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 08/12/2018 17:31

Gentle hugs OP Flowers

SpiderJoe · 08/12/2018 17:31

X Post. Sorry Nicoala1.

Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 08/12/2018 17:31

My tree fell over half way through decorating and a few baubles fell off. None shattered and none were precious and I had a tiny little cry about it so you are definitely not being unreasonable at all. Real trees suck! I won't be getting one again. First year I've had a Real one, cost a small fortune and I'm so dissappointed!!

Glasshalffull99 · 08/12/2018 17:32

This made me cry reading this!
So there is no way you are over the top! That's awful. Enjoy your drink and look forward to a shiny new baubles that represents your DD. Like PP said she will be laughing up there Flowers

Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 08/12/2018 17:32

Haudyerwheesht (great name) I am a bit sore now. The gin is helping. I think DH was more concerned that I had hurt myself badly given how much I was crying.

OP posts:
NonaGrey · 08/12/2018 17:32

Not foolish in the least.

I’m sure the new bauble will be lovely.

The meaning and significance are carried in you not in the thing itself. You will imbue the new one with just as much value as the old one in time.

Flowers. (Really we need a poinsettia emoji)