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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my friends to pay?

252 replies

samppo · 08/12/2018 15:39

Me and 3 friends are going away for one night next year June.
The hotel room is 2 double beds and is costing £248.
As usual I reserved it on my bank card (using booking.com) 3 months ago.
Today checked my bank and yesterday they've charge my account the full £248.
I've text my friends telling them what's happened and can they all pay there share.
They've all said no this close to Christmas,they have nights out planned and this close to Christmas can't do it.
So basically I've lost £248 ..I can't afford to cover £248.
Aibu here?

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 09/12/2018 19:09

The asterisk on the "pay at the property" banner usually says that Booking won't take a payment but the hotel will in line with their policies; which might be any time up until the date of booking. For busy nights, like around popular concerts, they usually do hold a preauthorisation on your card. You're not actually charged until you attend but that's semantics when it comes to your statement.

I think all you can do is explain this to your friends and ask them to find a way to pay you; or sell their concert tickets to cover the cost of the hotel. Alternatively, if you've got a good enough credit rating, get a 0% interest credit card and use that for Christmas.

Sueki · 09/12/2018 19:13

I think you made a genuine mistake and it is wrong to expect your friends to pay. However, if I was your friend I would want to help and do my best to pay my portion of the bill. I would definately sacrifice something to get as much of the money as possible as it is not nice to leave you so short when you were only being helpful and booking it on your bankcard. If it was a company asking for the money early there would be no chance, but a friend who made the mistake trying help me - that is a different story.

BumbleBeee69 · 09/12/2018 19:32

Cancel the entire Booking OP.

christmaschristmaschristmas · 09/12/2018 19:38

Cancel the booking. You'll be refunded very soon and you can book again nearer the time when everyone has the money.

It is very annoying for you but I don't imagine the other ladies were expecting to have to pay until June, and Christmas is so near so they won't have budgeted for it.

I would just chalk it up to being an unfortunate situation and move on.

diddl · 09/12/2018 19:39

"I think you made a genuine mistake and it is wrong to expect your friends to pay. "

What-ever??

NotTerfNorCis · 09/12/2018 19:39

If your friends won't pay at all, don't let them come. Invite other people or cancel the whole thing.

It sounds like they will pay though, in January... all you can do is stay on good terms for now. I'm sure you won't be booking for them again.

NotTerfNorCis · 09/12/2018 19:40

By the way for people saying cancel the booking, you might not necessarily get your money back - check the terms and conditions.

WhoTFIsAlanBrazil · 09/12/2018 19:45

Put their gig tickets on stub hub and go by yourself. I would!

They are not friends, just CFs

Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 09/12/2018 19:53

Contact the hotel, see if you it can be cancelled somehow or contact booking.com.
I'd pull out all the stops to cancel.
Your friends are being CFs.
'Nothing we can do'..total crap!!!
They can cancel their bloody nights out!
To be honest this level of CF-ery I'd be cancelling the whole trip because goodness knows what else CF-ery they might pull. They woulda known they'd have to stump up the cash in advance so I'd be wondering if they planned to get a freebie hotel stay.Or have you got any other friends willing to stump up the cash you could take instead?
Cancel the hotel somehow or take other friends. You can't trust that lot.

hellobeautiful123 · 09/12/2018 19:56

I don’t think it’s unusual to book this far in advance but you need to speak to the hotel or booking.com as you didn’t realise you had to pay now! I know it is annoying for you but I don’t think you can expect them to pay right on christmas. If i was me i would just have to sort it myself and get the money off them in the new year.

smore · 09/12/2018 20:00

This is a really tricky one. I'm the person who does all the booking for family etc and use Booking.com / hotels

I would have been tempted to get the free cancellation option when booking for others, but appreciate retrospect is a fine thing.

The problem is I guess you didn't read the t&cs and so it probably is your problem. It would have been nice for them to all help now but this close to Christmas I can see why it's tough (any other time of year without a good excuse though would be different).

And whilst a night out sounds frivolous, they may be letting others down by bowing out now. On this occasion I can see why they would feel you made the error in booking it like this.

I personally wouldn't book something like this without the money to cover it from everyone in my bank, for this reason. They could have backed out before the concert for illness or whatever else and leave you stuck with the cost.

ChristmasFlary · 09/12/2018 20:03

Has OP actually confirmed if the friends are saying no to giving anything or just no as it's xmas but they will pay afterwards

ReflectentMonatomism · 09/12/2018 20:07

The asterisk on the "pay at the property" banner usually says that Booking won't take a payment but the hotel will in line with their policies

In my experience, when it says "pay at the property" it's a straight-up pay on checkout, with pre-auth on the first night in case you don't show. For some hotels you can even do "arrive by 6pm with no pre-auth, pre-auth for later arrival". But that's not what's happened to the OP, because pre-auth reduces available credit but doesn't require you to pay it (although I'm never quite sure how it works with debit cards: I've never booked a hotel on a debit card).

However, booking.com is a bit of a mess when you get to that big table of available rooms and booking basis, and it's sometimes not entirely obvious what's pay on arrival, what's pre-pay, and what's weird combinations (I've had bookings which are cancellable up to T-14, I've had bookings which are pre-pay but refundable, etc).

If the OP had an actual honest to goodness "pay on arrival" then it's not on that they've been charged now, especially six months out (I'd be less annoyed six days, or six hours, but it's still not great). But I suspect they didn't.

Number3wife · 09/12/2018 20:15

If it was a non refundable room the hotel can take the booking immediately, the reason they offer a cheaper rate for a non refundable room is to encourage people to choose the cheaper option. It will have shown the different prices on the booking page. The guests get the room at a reduced rate but they take the risk of not getting their money back if they cancel, its the risk you take if you book a non refundable room rate I am afraid.

Leapfrog44 · 09/12/2018 20:23

They've dropped you in it! What shit friends. Terrible behavior, it's not fair at all. Anyone with half a conscience would stump up straight away.

Alwaysdrama · 09/12/2018 20:31

They are being very unfair
Quite sure they could beg/borrow the money somehow even in December rather than drop a friend right in it

Tell them you will sell the hotel room on to other concert goers unless they pay up in full by next week. Not your fault. You should all share the PITA of the paymen being taken

That said I do think you have a case with booking.com so def worth chasing it up.

But even if you get the refund I should think it leaves a very bitter taste about how your friends have replied. Last time you do them a favour hey?

ilovecherries · 09/12/2018 20:34

Actually, am also in dispute with booking.com for the same. Mini break booked for March - total is around £320, £80 deposit with balanc to be paid three days before arrival. Except they’ve taken the lot - not just put a hold on it, but actually taken the cash. I’m furious, it was NOT what it says in the t&cs, and it’s ptoving remarkably hard to get a refund. We don’t want to involve our cc and cancel, as we actually need this booking. Will never use booking.com again though, unless I’m within a couple of days of arrival.

anniehm · 09/12/2018 20:35

Non refundable rooms are charged straight away (or can be, holiday inn is always very slow to charge). There will be multiple room rates and you didn't choose the pay on arrival one unfortunately so the hotel isn't to blame.

AGHHHH · 09/12/2018 20:36

Your friends are dog shit.

KnightlyMyMan · 09/12/2018 20:38

Hmm - your friends sound terrible to leave you in this situation so close to Christmas when you’re equally responsible for the cost.

However, they obviously hadn’t factored in the cost before Christmas which I do understand!

Have you considered sending a message around saying ‘well I’ll have to take out a pay day loan to cover my Christmas costs so if you can’t cobtribute now that’s fine but I’ll have to factor in the interest when we split the cost after Christmas as it’s not fair for me to be left with nothing just before Christmas either!’

CJsGoldfish · 09/12/2018 20:38

I would send a message to your friends telling them you can't afford the full payment right now and you'll have to cancel the room. Tell them that 'hopefully' you can book again early next year but, if not, maybe you can all find a bed separately.

The risk of having nowhere or having to pay more might make them rethink their arsey behaviour.

myhamsteratefreddiestarr · 09/12/2018 20:40

I would email them and say they have to pay up or you will resell their tickets and rooms. How would they feel if it was them in this situation?

Make sure you never pay for anything for them again without money up front.

notapizzaeater · 09/12/2018 20:41

If you tell them you are cancelling the room they will think they are off the hook and you will be stuck paying for the whole bill.

Pfingstrose · 09/12/2018 20:47

No good deed goes unpunished.

LolasBoots · 09/12/2018 20:48

There are plenty of lovely places available on Airbnb for a lot less than £240+

I've no idea why you thought that the hotel was such a bargain 🤔

There's a gorgeous Glasgow city centre 3 bed, 2 bathroom apartment for just £80 a night on June 21st

At that price you could stay for two nights and make a weekend of it. Bargain!

Cancel the hotel and go with different friends if these two aren't coughing up the dough.

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