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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think counselling isn't the magical solution people make out

26 replies

GunpowderGelatine · 08/12/2018 05:54

Been reading several threads this morning of people in very complex situations, both personal and family problems, and it's inevitable that lots of posters will say "you need counselling" "go see a family counsellor" and offer little else, as if counselling will solve everything in one fell swoop.

AIBU to think that actually it's not a great solution?

I am possibly projecting a little - I was sexually abused by my step father as a child. My mother found out, and is still with him regardless. Without going into detail this has been very painful for me and last year I bit the bullet and went to counselling.

I really tried, I did about 12 session but honestly I'd say all of them were useless. The lady was absolutely lovely and sympathetic but the whole experience offered No practical help or advice on how to cope. It was just me recounting what happened and her looking pensive and telling me I have feelings of anger and hurt (and other things I already knew). Looking back I think what would have been helpful was, not have counselling, but actually find the support to go the police (which feels really obvious now).

I've read numerous accounts on MN of people who've been let down by counsellors, we're told awful things and even on some occasions counsellors took the 'side' of the abuser. I see it as more of a chance to vent frustrations rather than practically change things. AIBU or did I just get a crap service?

OP posts:
WinterfellWench · 08/12/2018 14:07

Agree AND disagree.

Counselling does wonders for some people.

Does nothing for others.

Sorry for your issues and what you went through. Hope you feel OK soon. Flowers

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