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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to bed before 17 year old gets in?

20 replies

ferrier · 08/12/2018 00:03

He's out with friends at an after show party. He says they've booked a taxi for 1.30 am. I don't know exactly where he is. Dh does but he was out tonight and when he came back he went straight up to bed (unbeknown to me) and is now asleep Hmm
Would you wait up?

OP posts:
MojoMoon · 08/12/2018 00:04

No.

Go to bed. Being awake won't change anything that he may or may not be doing while out.

He is 17. This is his life now.

Maelstrop · 08/12/2018 00:04

No, why would you?

nutellalove · 08/12/2018 00:07

My parents used to not be able to sleep till I got in at that age too. Maybe just set an alarm for 2am to check he's back home safe by then

loubluee · 08/12/2018 00:08

No go to bed with one ear open lol

KeepServingTheDrinks · 08/12/2018 00:09

I've done it once and it felt really weird and wrong.

I'm a night owl, so generally up quite late in any case, but there was one night she did just beat me and I caved and went to bed. I left her a note. And I must've been sleeping with one ear open, because I did hear her come in.

CheshireChat · 08/12/2018 00:12

Well, if something does happen, at least you'll be rested.

Maybe ask him to call/ text on the way back?

greenlynx · 08/12/2018 00:12

Yes, I would. I would probably stay in bed reading or watching TV but would wait.

humblesims · 08/12/2018 00:12

I am sitting here wondering exactly the same thing! My DS (also 17) has just started working Friday nights KPing and has texted to say hes stopping off at a mates on the way home and wont be back till about 1. Feel like I want to stay up and worry but suspect I should go to bed (like DH has). Good idea setting an alarm for later. I might do that too.

Lovingbenidorm · 08/12/2018 00:13

Probably going to get shot down in flames here, but I’d wait up.
DH would think I was being ridiculous (probably am) but I’d get pj’s on, get comfy on the sofa, watch some shite on tv.
When he gets in I’d be all “oh hi darling, I was just watching Jaws. Did you have a good night?”
17 isn’t all that old!
Don’t ring him tho!

rubyslipper1 · 08/12/2018 00:16

you should download snapchat, if he posts on it you can see his whereabouts unless he puts it on ghost mode. I get my girl whos the same age to do this so i know where she is , she usually calls me tho.
i cant sleep till she comes in at night especially as shes driving home late at night.
i usually go to bed to try and sleep and sometimes i do drift of to sleep , but i always hear her come in.
Theres nothing wrong with being concerned for your childs welfare .

hottestsausage · 08/12/2018 00:18

My DM and DSD would usually be in bed by the time I got in when I was that age.

I knew DM was awake when I got home as she'd be listening for the door. So I'd sneak into their room and tipsily tell her about the night and any gossip/drama while DSD snored.

That was until I realised all she wanted was to make sure I was home safe so she could go to sleep and she didn't really appreciate my babbling Grin

Go to bed, you'll listen out for him coming home no doubt anyway.

Original poster
ferrier · 08/12/2018 00:22

Oh a mix of replies! Well at least I'm not being totally unreasonable to think of going to bed. I guess the reason to stay up is that if he's not in by say 2 then I can start finding out where he is.
I could set an alarm for 2 .... though that would wake up dh too Grin
He's at that awkward not quite adult age. If he was 18 I'd almost certainly just leave him to it.

OP posts:
Iloveautumnleaves · 08/12/2018 00:22

I’m a night owl anyway, as well as an insomniac and if I do go to sleep then get woken up, that’s me done for the night. I am SO looking forward to the older teen years 😖

It’s not unreasonable for normal people to go to bed, no. Likewise it’s not unreasonable to stay awake either. They’re still young really. I can NOW see why my parents thought I was ‘too young’ to leave home. I wasn’t actually, but they worried.

Original poster
ferrier · 08/12/2018 00:24

I definitely won't hear him. I'll be asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Ditto if I try to sit on the sofa and watch telly. The only way I'll stay awake is if I do stuff. Which does have its advantages it has to be said!

OP posts:
skybluee · 08/12/2018 00:29

I think it's lovely you want to wait up but i honestly think you should go to sleep if you want to! you could put your mobile right by you and the landline if that helps. i'm sure your son would want you to sleep and not wait up for him. up to you though and it's not that long now until 2am. night night.

Original poster
ferrier · 08/12/2018 00:38

I am persuaded to go to bed. Especially as dh has, seemingly without a second thought.
I'll leave both phones on (usually turn the mobile off overnight).
Thanks all Smile

OP posts:
Beeziekn33ze · 08/12/2018 00:48

If you get tracking on Find My Friends you'll be able to check where he is unless his phone is off.

Ollivander84 · 08/12/2018 00:49

My dad would always pretend he was asleep. I came in one morning at 3am and got a sarcastic "good morning" as I crept past the door Grin

BITCAT · 08/12/2018 00:50

I couldnt sleep. Before my 20yo ds1 left home i couldnt sleep till he got in from work and he used to let me know if he was staying at friends etc because you never stop worrying even when they are adults. Now my dd1 is 17 and i cant sleep until i know she is in and safe.

Original poster
ferrier · 08/12/2018 09:38

He is in, safe and sound Smile

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