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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pissed off at selfish sister

30 replies

Dextrodependant · 07/12/2018 20:20

I had problems with an ex last year ending with him being charged with harassment and me getting a non molestation order.

Fast forward to now and he has been making my life a misery, kidnapped my dog, broke into my house, threatening to set my house on fire and blow up my car, all of this in the last week!

The police are dealing with it and he has been charged and bailed until the court hearing.

My sister has just asked me would I drop her kids off at their other aunties tomorrow.... two doors down from my ex!

So AIBU to think she is taking the absolute piss. She is fully aware of the situation. Ok so I know I'm defomitley NOT being unreasonable.

Any one got any self absorbed relative stories? Convince me I am not alone please!

OP posts:
homegrownmumma · 07/12/2018 20:22

I would like to give your sister the benefit of the going and maybe she forgot that your ex was so close by but realistically she's probably being abit of a dick

Accountant222 · 07/12/2018 20:23

You are right, don't take them, she should understand your situation. Hope it gets much better for you x

homegrownmumma · 07/12/2018 20:23

*doubt not going 😂

tenbob · 07/12/2018 20:24

"Sorry sis, you probably know that's really near my ex and I can't go anywhere near his house. Hope you find someone else to drop the off, of get Aunty to pick them up from mine"

And move the hell away from your weirdly interconnected town
Sounds like you need to be away from somewhere where everyone knows everyone and lives a few doors apart after the shitty time you've had
Thanks

Original poster
Dextrodependant · 07/12/2018 20:30

There is no way she has forgotten cos when I said no she said oh don't you want to go near ex?

I would love to move but the kids have schools, I have a job, their dad is here.....

OP posts:
pumpkinpie01 · 07/12/2018 20:32

That’s really out of order of her. Kind of thing my sister would do, just thinks about herself constantly!

CoughLaughFart · 07/12/2018 20:47

And move the hell away from your weirdly interconnected town

‘Weirdly interconnected’? It surely isn’t that odd for family members to live in the same town.

OffToBedhampton · 07/12/2018 21:32

With a Non Mol in place against him for your safety, you can't go near his house. It's ridiculous that your sister has so little respect for your safety & sanity.Shock
I'm glad you're not going.

Wordthe · 07/12/2018 21:34

She sounds like a piece of work...

Original poster
Dextrodependant · 07/12/2018 21:48

I think legally I can go anywhere, although obviously it is unadvisable. He can't go within 50m of my house, work, kids school or contact me directly or indirectly.

OP posts:
Blondephantom · 07/12/2018 22:14

You are right - legally you can go anywhere. However, he could use it to argue you aren’t scared of him and try to overturn the order. Just not with the risk.

Original poster
Dextrodependant · 07/12/2018 22:20

I have no intentions if going anywhere near him, especially not just to save my sister a 10 min bus journey. I know if he saw me he would approach me, never mind his family or friends seeing me. No way!

OP posts:
OffToBedhampton · 07/12/2018 22:30

@Dextrodependant. Yes I know legally you can go anywhere but you'd be very unwise to go to his street or places he's at. And police/court would frown upon it as Non Mol is in place for your safety for a reason.

OffToBedhampton · 07/12/2018 22:31

Ah cross posted @Dextrodependant ! Glad you set your sister straight and are protecting yourself

BumbleBeee69 · 07/12/2018 22:42

Your Sister simply forgot right ?

gamerwidow · 07/12/2018 22:56

It's extremely stupid of your sister to think this is ok. I can only assume she forgot where he lives otherwise this is awful.

I have issues with my sister my in the opposite direction where she has had serious of abusive partners which she yo-yos between staying and leaving and then gets angry with me for being exasperated with her.

GodrestyemerrySchadenfreud · 07/12/2018 22:58

Did you get your dog back?

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 08/12/2018 08:41

If my sister had been through the kind of week you've had, OP, I wouldn't be asking her to sort out my childcare problems for me regardless of where she lived.

Original poster
Dextrodependant · 08/12/2018 13:37

I did get the dog back thanks, he is safe and sound.

She defomitley didn't forget, as soon as so said No she asked if that was why.

OP posts:
LucieMorningstar · 08/12/2018 13:48

Another one right here who missed the point of the thread but I was also worried about the dog 🐶

Original poster
Dextrodependant · 08/12/2018 14:24

Well since he is feeling the love on the thread, here is a picture of Mr D relaxing after his ordeal.

OP posts:
OffToBedhampton · 08/12/2018 17:20

Can I ask how he kidnapped DDog and how you got him back?

Obviously really worried about rest of stuff he did, that resulted in a NonMol , but hopefully you can tell us about the dognap part....

OffToBedhampton · 08/12/2018 17:20

Glad DDog safe back with you!! Smile

Original poster
Dextrodependant · 08/12/2018 17:47

I took my youngest 2 dc to put them in the car, eldest dc was still faffing about so was going to follow us round. The car is parked behind the house so we went out of the front door up the hill and round to the back.

The door was unlocked so that DC could come out and then lock it behind him.

Crazy Ex walked in, DC walked out and came round to tell me he was there.
By the time I got to the front door he had locked us out. I took DC to their dads so the didn't have to witness a scene, when I got back crazy ex and the dog were gone. I phoned him and he said he was taking my dog and would let his dogs attack him.

I rang the police who didn't even bother to turn up till the next day but in the meantime I went to his house (he wasn't there, I was driving and he was on foot) and told him if he didn't return my dog I would let his out.
His dogs are dangerous and aggressive to anyone but him and to some extent me.
He had no choice but to return my dog.
I never would have let his dogs out but the fact I had climbed over his back fence to where they were was enough to make him think I might.
He left my dog in my back garden and I went home.

OP posts:
OffToBedhampton · 08/12/2018 17:57

@Dextrodependant your Ex is a nutter!!!
I hope you got his comments via text for evidence!! Shock