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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have crossed at a zebra crossing?

58 replies

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 07/12/2018 20:12

I just received abuse for crossing at a well lit zebra crossing next to a supermarket. I saw a car in the near distance, but they had plenty of time to stop before the crossing and so I began to cross. Instead of slowing down the car sped up, deliberately, making me run, before braking. Then the guy shouted 'oi! OI! Use your fucking eyes, you daft cow!'
I feel stupidly shaken by it and I've just burst into tears.

OP posts:
Furrydogmum · 07/12/2018 20:41

I was yelled at by a man in a large bmw when he used the wrong lane at some lights then nearly went into the side of me - by his reckoning I needed to learn to drive - I let him have his say then said "hmm I'm not the wanker holding 3 lanes of traffic up because he can't follow signs" then shut my window and ignored him - it does shake you up though!

FoxInForrest · 07/12/2018 21:23

I think a lot of this is down to men (generalising) are shit at managing their own emotions, so rather than feel the feelings of "fuck, that was close" they lash out and blame something outside of themselves. They (and this guy) are still knobs though.

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 07/12/2018 21:25

It wasn't close. He saw me and deliberately drove at me. On purpose.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 07/12/2018 21:27

OI! Use your fucking eyes, you daft cow!'

I think he must have thought he was closer to you than you thought he was because of what he said.

FoxInForrest · 07/12/2018 21:35

Sorry @Farontothemaddingcrowd That changes things. I forgot that bit. He was a total dickhead and no happy person behaves like that.

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 07/12/2018 21:41

He saw me. If he had time to accelerate, he had time to brake

OP posts:
Marychristmastome · 07/12/2018 21:43

I once reported a driver who did this to the police, she accelerated and came close to knocking me over. Witnesses gave me their details, I got the driver's number and she was taken to court and fined (I had to give evidence).
So, it's worth getting details if it happens to you (too late for OP, I know).

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 07/12/2018 21:43

I don't doubt he saw you, I don't doubt he was a twat but he obviously thought you were nearer than you thought he was because of what he shouted to you.

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 07/12/2018 21:44

It doesn't matter what he thought. He was wrong.

OP posts:
onalongsabbatical · 07/12/2018 21:45

Don't suppose there's any chance there'd be CCTV and you could report him for the accelerating bit OP? He deserves to have the book thrown at him, what a bastard.
Flowers and Brew for you.

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 07/12/2018 21:46

I was right in the middle of the crossing before he approached, even with him accelerating. So plenty of time

OP posts:
Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 07/12/2018 21:46

I guess I could ask in the store.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 07/12/2018 21:47

Of course it matters, he thought you shouldn't have stepped out because he was approaching, he accelerated to scare you.

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 07/12/2018 21:49

Yes but I don't care what he thought because he was wrong.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 07/12/2018 21:52

Ok whatever cba arguing with you.

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 07/12/2018 21:53

Why would you do that to someone who is upset? I'm not arguing, I'm just making a point. I'm already upset. I don't get it.

OP posts:
onalongsabbatical · 07/12/2018 21:54

Far I think GreatDuck likes to be contrary, I'd take no notice. Of course he was in the wrong ffs.

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 07/12/2018 21:55

Yes I think so too. I'm starting to feel like the world is a horrible place. Probably my depression colouring things though.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 07/12/2018 21:59

I have said he was in the wrong. I also think he thought he was closer to the OP than she thought he was to her. She can't know whether he thought that or not. His comment to the OP makes me think he did.

And not having the same opinion as everyone is not being contrary.

IamMoana · 07/12/2018 22:01

I have had this before, stepped onto crossing & man yelled at me as he's had to stop to let me across. The amount of drivers who speed up to get through pedestrian and zebra crossings rather than letting you across terrifies me, especially since having my daughter. I won't cross until the cars fully stopped now. Impatience is the worst.

TheSubtleKnifeAndFork · 07/12/2018 22:02

I didn't think crossings without beacons had any legal standing (i.e. they aren't real crossings and as such pedestrians don't actually have right of way)? By law don't all official crossings have either beacons (zebra) or traffic control lights (pelican, toucan, etc)?

Although regardless of that he was twat OP. Some people shouldn't be allowed to drive if they can't control themselves. I hope you aren't too shaken.

EnidButton · 07/12/2018 22:15

Who gives a shit what he thought? He hurled abuse out of a moving car at a woman on her own. Complete cockhead.

EnidButton · 07/12/2018 22:22

A man once yelled something at me from his car when I was stood waiting to cross a car park. Something about my face being miserable. I was trying hard to keep my balance as I was ill so maybe I was pulling a miserable face I don't know. Worse bit was his female passenger laughing with him about it. I felt embarrassed and worried that I looked like a easy target or something. It really unsettled me so I know it's a horrible feeling.

Some people are nasty selfish dickheads and you can't change the way they think and act. You can change the way you react to them so focus on making yourself feel better as well as you can. It wasn't anything personal, you didn't do anything wrong, leave the dickheads to their pathetic anger issues. Flowers

Hubblebubbletripletrouble · 07/12/2018 22:40

Grrr he’s just a nasty shit. I would feel the same as you though OP, particularly when you know you haven’t done anything wrong.

Papergirl1968 · 07/12/2018 23:03

While driving I’ve had a couple of altercations with male drivers in the last few weeks and they’ve put their window down and screamed abuse at me - fat cunt etc - in front of my teenage dds.
I often wonder if they have wives, sisters, mothers, female friends that they’d speak to like that.
There are some really vile people around.

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