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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To raise a formal complaint regarding school isolation

664 replies

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 07/12/2018 19:13

Last week a group of 20-30 kids were throwing acorns at each other in the school playing field, a child who also throwing the acorns, got hit in the eye which I've been led to believe required medical treatment, teacher asked who hit the child and DS said he believed it was his acorn, and that he was sorry, and did not mean to cause anyone harm.

He was given a days isolation plus after school detention, however on the day with only 10 mins notice.

His head of year called and said as he admitted it was him, they had no choice to follow the isolation process, however admitted they thought it was harsh, however rules and rules which we will adhere to and support the school with.

DS has NEVER been in isolation.

My AIBU is, Ds was made to sit in a 2 by 4 booth, being made to sit upright and face a white wall for the whole of the school day. NO SCHOOL WORK WAS GIVEN AT ALL

He could not tell the supervisor he had no course work as he isn't allowed to talk while in isolation, and tbh nor should even have to ask for course work, its the supervisors role to ensure DS has course work, which is the policy in DS school.

Only one teacher called the isolation supervisor to ask if DS was present, however did not send course work, not one of his other 4 teachers called to ask if he was present.

The isolation supervisor has confirmed all of the above is true Hmm his HOY has advised us that they have passed it on to the isolation manager who will be calling me, however even after chasing it up everyday for the past week and leaving messages for them to call me I am still awaiting the phone call.

My own DS ended up requiring medical treatment as he endured a headache with sickness and sensitivity to light, ds has never had a migraine before isolation, which the A&E doctors advised was the cause.

OP posts:
FlashByReputation · 11/12/2018 09:29

I'm sorry OP but if you take a longer view of the incident you have a very tenuous complaint to be honest. To link the isolation room to a migraine is a stretch in the first place, particularly if he has no history of migraines so they could not make an reasonable adjustments anyway. In the same way me going to a nightclub and the lights causing an epileptic fit does not make the nightclub responsible. The other 99% of students who have been in the isolation room have presumable not been taken to hospital with migraines afterwards? They will say he should have had his bag and exercise books with him to revise from if nothing else was availible. There is no lasting damage and his grades have presumably not been affected. I'm not really sure what you are hoping for here. At best I think you will get a generic response saying that in future the school will endeavour to make sure work is provided and that will be it. I hope you will be satisfied with that.

dippledorus · 11/12/2018 10:08

where was his schoolbag and why didn’t he take it with him to isolation?

Oliversmumsarmy · 11/12/2018 10:31

FlashByReputation

Firstly you going to a nightclub is your choice.

Secondly migraines are for life. They can alter the connections in the brain. They make you more susceptible to other brain related conditions.
So there has been lasting damage.

Presumably the other 99% of pupils who were put in isolation werent told to stare at a wall for 7 hours.

If his grades weren't affected by him missing a day of school why do schools have a zero tolerance on having a day off for a holiday or wedding/funeral.
That bit doesn't make sense.

Thirdly how was he supposed to get his bag and exercise books if he wasn't allowed to collect his bag and exercise books from his locker.

dippledorus rtft or just the ops posts.

The whole thing sounds like someone was throwing their weight around and didn't inform anyone else because they would have been told the punishment was OTT. Hence why none of his teachers knew where he was and work etc wasn't either supplied or him being able to collect his books from his locker.

dippledorus · 11/12/2018 10:34

I did. She hasn’t explained why he didn’t lift his schoolbag from wherever he put it for PE and take it with him.

Oliversmumsarmy · 11/12/2018 10:39

Because it was in his locker and he wasn’t allowed to go to his locker.

As the op has explained

dippledorus · 11/12/2018 10:47

so he didn't have a pen and paper in his pocket? A book? Nothing?

He didn't have anything on his person that he could use to study?

Funny, because every teenaged boy I've ever known has his pockets of his blazer stuffed with items he could have used for study.

myrtleWilson · 11/12/2018 10:50

You're probably right dipple the OPs don no doubt had the entire works of Shakespeare stuffed down his right sock but chose to leave it there in isolation rather than actually have something to do for the duration Hmm

dippledorus · 11/12/2018 10:57

Well, he shouldn't have misbehaved then he wouldn't have been in trouble. Or he should have told the child who came to get him that he needed his schoolbag. I've never known a child be able to leave their whole bag in their locker, but perhaps the OP school has larger lockers than my DC school ever had.

myrtleWilson · 11/12/2018 10:58

My Dd can leave her whole bag in her locker and she doesn't carry around paper or books in her blazer so I guess we can only take from this that our experiences are not universal

dippledorus · 11/12/2018 11:02

As indeed I said in my post "perhaps the OP school has larger lockers than my DC school ever had"

Regardless of any of that, if the OP son had not been engaging in silly immature and dangerous behaviour, he would not have been sent to isolation. He injured a girl, and the OP then allowed him to go to a sleepover at that girl's house which I wouldn't have done. I never allowed mixed sleepovers. And I expected my children to behave. But I'm an old fashioned sort of a parent.

Oliversmumsarmy · 11/12/2018 11:04

so he didn't have a pen and paper in his pocket? A book? Nothing

He was in PE. Surely carrying a pen in his pocket would have been a danger.

If ops Ds misbehaved so were the others including the girl who got hit in the face by an acorn. So why were they not in isolation.

Either dippledorus your dc’s bag is very big or his locker is very small. Neither of mine had any issue fitting a bag into a locker no matter what the size.

dippledorus · 11/12/2018 11:07

So he didn't get changed back to his uniform and went to isolation in his half changed kit?

myrtleWilson · 11/12/2018 11:07

He accidentally injured a girl who was engaged in the same activity he was. He apologised multiple times. Neither the girl nor the parents appear to be upset. Your decisions regarding sleepovers are yours to make. None of this has anything to do with the OPs concern which was the school not following their own policy.

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 11/12/2018 11:10

He didn't have anything on his person that he could use to study?

Of course not! Who on earth carries around textbooks and notepads in their pocket at break time!

FlashByReputation · 11/12/2018 11:17

He is there by choice, his mum chose a school with a behaviour policy that included an isolation room. Also it was his choice to start lobbing acorns! The ins and outs have been and gone, I just really don't see what the OP is expecting to gain from her complaint. The school will say they seek to ahdere to the policy of providing work and unless she intends to volunteer to be the new isolation unit supervisor how can she possibly enforce her complaint? She has said her child isn't usually in trouble so presumably isn't expecting him to go there again so it's completely irrelevant to both her what happens next because the other children in there will probably have their school bags with them or not be predisposed towards migraines? It's a nonsense.

Oliversmumsarmy · 11/12/2018 12:36

I looked round a huge amount if senior schools and everyone, including the top quasi grammar schools and they all had isolation rooms. So it isn't exactly a choice if there is not one school around that doesn't have something.

BumbleBeee69 · 11/12/2018 13:05

oh my Hmm

well done OP Flowers

Malaco · 11/12/2018 13:32

If the child in the article was in isolation for 60 days in a year, it sounds like they should have been in a PRU as the school couldn't cope with them. There's probably not the funding for everyone that needs a PRU though.

Oliversmumsarmy · 11/12/2018 13:56

But 1/3 of the school had been in the isolation booths for an average of 15 days.

If this is correct then something is going very wrong at the school and obviously the isolation booths are not working.

I don’t believe that bit about how a pupil is warned 4 times and then and only then do the pupils get put in isolation.

Friends Ds could have spent 60 days in isolation. His crime, he broke his ankle and chose to wear a cast and not his school shoes.

This is why I withdrew Ds from his senior school within weeks of him starting. I could see that with ds’s hearing, adhd, dyslexia and dysgraphia (unable to read and write properly) he would have spent the whole year in isolation.

CecilyP · 11/12/2018 15:20

He didn't have anything on his person that he could use to study?

How is it really so hard to understand that he didn't. Even if every child you know personally, takes text books, exercise books, pens, pencils and calculators to PE with them to be left in the changing rooms during the the PE session, surely it is not beyond the realms of possibilty to that some children don't do that. It would certainly have been unthinkable take that stuff to PE when I was at school, admittedly many years ago!

90mammasophie · 11/12/2018 15:32

I don't think you should complain.
Let your son know he shouldn't have been playing throwing acorns at others.
It's maybe not as serious as some things, but show him that actions have consequences, sometimes they seem unfair but in the scheme of things it's not a huge deal & a good learning opportunity

CecilyP · 11/12/2018 15:42

Friends Ds could have spent 60 days in isolation. His crime, he broke his ankle and chose to wear a cast and not his school shoes.

I'm not doubting you, Olivers, but it just sounds so far fetched. Why did his parents even send him to school? They might as well have got the doctor to sign him off for the whole duration.

Icouldbehappy · 11/12/2018 15:59

Teacher here. I’m absolutely gobsmacked at this!!!! ISOLATION????? Sitting looking at a wall all day???
Wtf????
And they should ALL have been punished unless the teacher categorically saw your DS throw the offending item and saw it connect. They were ALL in the wrong INCLUDING the boy who was hit!!!
It would be a cold day in hell before I’d accept a punishment like that for my DC, unless they WERE all punished in exactly the same way ffs!
Even at that, I could think of more suitable punishments like litter-picking.
Totally and utterly speechless that anyone here or at this school thinks that this is acceptable.

Malaco · 11/12/2018 16:05

It does sound a bit far fetched that a school would put a child in isolation because they couldn't fit a school shoe over their cast for their broken ankle.