Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To raise a formal complaint regarding school isolation

664 replies

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 07/12/2018 19:13

Last week a group of 20-30 kids were throwing acorns at each other in the school playing field, a child who also throwing the acorns, got hit in the eye which I've been led to believe required medical treatment, teacher asked who hit the child and DS said he believed it was his acorn, and that he was sorry, and did not mean to cause anyone harm.

He was given a days isolation plus after school detention, however on the day with only 10 mins notice.

His head of year called and said as he admitted it was him, they had no choice to follow the isolation process, however admitted they thought it was harsh, however rules and rules which we will adhere to and support the school with.

DS has NEVER been in isolation.

My AIBU is, Ds was made to sit in a 2 by 4 booth, being made to sit upright and face a white wall for the whole of the school day. NO SCHOOL WORK WAS GIVEN AT ALL

He could not tell the supervisor he had no course work as he isn't allowed to talk while in isolation, and tbh nor should even have to ask for course work, its the supervisors role to ensure DS has course work, which is the policy in DS school.

Only one teacher called the isolation supervisor to ask if DS was present, however did not send course work, not one of his other 4 teachers called to ask if he was present.

The isolation supervisor has confirmed all of the above is true Hmm his HOY has advised us that they have passed it on to the isolation manager who will be calling me, however even after chasing it up everyday for the past week and leaving messages for them to call me I am still awaiting the phone call.

My own DS ended up requiring medical treatment as he endured a headache with sickness and sensitivity to light, ds has never had a migraine before isolation, which the A&E doctors advised was the cause.

OP posts:
Astars · 08/12/2018 10:01

Nothing actually proves the hospital stay was linked to the isolation. I assume he was allowed a drink and something to eat?

SnuggyBuggy · 08/12/2018 10:06

@Astars, bollocking and detention for all the acorn throwers.

Astars · 08/12/2018 10:08

I agree but op seems to have a problem with the policy which I don't

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 08/12/2018 10:09

Everytime I read about isolation on here, I am so glad we didn't have this when I was in school. My mates and I were always accidentally hurting each other by messing about on break (including one very unfortunate time trying recreate some of the more exciting routines from Bring It On and dropping a girl who broke her arm) Why would we be punished? No one was ever angry, the parents were never out for blood, accidents happen.

If you misbehaved in our school, you were sent to the head for a bollocking. Disruptive in lessons? You stood outside the classroom until the end of the lesson then would be bollocked by the teacher and sent on your way. Aftershchool and lunch time detentions were boring as hell and enough of a punishment to make sure you wouldn't do the same thing again, and they only lasted an hour.

YANBU OP, you should complain about the school bit following procedure, if I were you I would be looking at alternative schooling if this is how they deal with an accident which was owned up to.

cariadlet · 08/12/2018 10:11

What exactly do people think should have been done?

In this case (stupid behaviour but outside a lesson, no deliberate aggression, no acorns thrown at random passers by) I think that they should have all been sent to the Head of Year for a severe bollocking and told not to be so stupid again. Save isolation for disrupting lessons and for deliberate misbehavior.

ForalltheSaints · 08/12/2018 10:12

Complain about the lack of work nothing else.

SnuggyBuggy · 08/12/2018 10:13

I would also expect differentiation between a malicious attack and an injury from both parties messing around.

Oliversmumsarmy · 08/12/2018 10:13

I think what should have been done was the school if they are going to send someone to isolation then they stick to their own rules.

Someone up thread asked about long term effects of migraine.

Apart from altering the structure of the brain also these are some of the long term effects.

www.google.co.uk/amp/amp.timeinc.net/health/headaches-and-migraines/migraine-pain-depression-stroke

www.google.co.uk/amp/amp.timeinc.net/health/headaches-and-migraines/migraine-pain-depression-stroke

Astars · 08/12/2018 10:18

Maybe there is some differecence between malicious and non malicious behaviour

CurlyhairedAssassin · 08/12/2018 10:22

“If you misbehaved in our school, you were sent to the head for a bollocking”

But behaviour is so bad now in schools that it would be ALL the head would do all day.

“Disruptive in lessons? You stood outside the classroom until the end of the lesson then would be bollocked by the teacher and sent on your way.”

Do you really think that kids STAY stood outside classrooms these days? There are kids who just take it as an opportunity to disappear round the school causing trouble, or climb over the wall and go offsite. Even if they don’t do that most are happy they can just daydream in the corridor rather than do any work.

“Afterschool and lunch time detentions were boring as hell and enough of a punishment to make sure you wouldn't do the same thing again, and they only lasted an hour.”

Again, this doesn’t work these days. You end up with a whole room full of the kids who regularly behave badly and they’re all mates so think it’s a right laugh. They’re not bothered about being in off the yard as “it’s too cold to go outside” so they’ve got it cushy in a lunchtime detention with warmth and a chair and table compared to the good kids on the yard who probably have to stand for the whole duration in all weathers.

I just don’t think some people are understanding that school is a completely different kettle of fish to how it was like when we went. The pupils’ whole attitude towards staff and authority has changed. They don’t care for boundaries or being told what to do/why they can’t do something and argue back at the slightest thing, complaining how unfair they are being treated.

I can’t stress That enough. And the ones that start off respecting rules in year 7 soon pick up that attitude from the older ones and before you know it they’re behaving like that too. In some schools we are not far off from mob rule.

Fucket · 08/12/2018 10:25

A child sustained an eye injury, it doesn’t matter if it was acorns. Kids dicking about caused someone to get hurt and probably a lot of wasted learning time as the incident probably had to be investigated, statements taken from all involved and those witnessing it. Schools just want to get on with teaching, it’s not preschool, no naughty steps and saying sorry. That’s how school are now.

C8H10N4O2 · 08/12/2018 10:27

Again, this doesn’t work these days

Oh the "kids these days" argument for behaviour policies which would result in a parent or carer being reported to social services. Most of these "punishment" regimes are not about punishment and learning they are about brainless compliance.

"they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.[...] and tyrannize their teachers."

Socrates.

Astars · 08/12/2018 10:30

I kept a girl in at lunchtime yesterday for being so rude and that is yr 5 x they should know consequences by secondary school age.

Biologifemini · 08/12/2018 10:31

Have you apologised to the mother of the other child? Has your child apologised?

I would chalk this up to experience. A formal complaint won’t get you very far. It is unfortunate that your son felt unwell but the other child was hurt and if I was his mother I would be very very interested to know what the school was doing about your kid.

Oliversmumsarmy · 08/12/2018 10:33

CurlyhairedAssassin

Or a child might have lost a jumper or shoe might have developed a hole and parents come in late from work and not been able to replace it immediately that night or child has broken their ankle so can’t wear the school shoes.

These are also reasons why you can get sent to isolation.

If you have SEN and can’t do the homework

Behaviour in a lot of cases has nothing to do with it.

SnuggyBuggy · 08/12/2018 10:34

If my child was hurt because they were all messing around I'd tell her it's her own fault for being silly.

Fucket · 08/12/2018 10:41

If a parent genuinely cannot replace lost items or mend missing clothing they should speak to the school and some leeway allowed until replaced/fixed. I have personally sewn buttons on kids blouses because no one at home could do it (for whatever reason). Teachers do care about kids who want to learn but come from tough backgrounds. The ones who mess about and seem like they have every excuse going - not so much.

SEN education in this country is appallingly inappropriate. Teachers know this, but are forced to follow the rules. They have no say on budgets and you would be surprised how hard some work behind the scenes to get something arranged for it to come to nothing. The teachers are not your enemy.

MrsBartlettforthewin · 08/12/2018 10:44

Sounds like who ever decided to put your DS in isolation screwed up. Our school as a similar set up but, other than for violent behaviour which needs them removing from the main school ASAP, 24 hour notice is given to parents and teachers so we can get work together for the pupil and so the pupil knows what is happening.

I would raise it with the school as it wasted a day of his education. Personally I wouldn't bring up the migraine but stick to the fact they didn't follow their own rules on how isolation works/ it's purpose.

Original poster
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 08/12/2018 10:53

Im going to DS football, and haven't read all the comments, just skimmed over some of them, however will read when I have the time.

Basically teachers on this thread are saying because of the bad behaviours of a minority of pupils all pupils should be tarnished with the same brush Hmm

Its not the children's fault teachers cannot cope in schools, basically this thread proves this two fold.

I have friends and family who are primary and secondary teachers do not have this mindset of a woe is me tale, and that teaching is the most awful and hardest job in the world, its not, some may find it difficult, and I quite imagine budgets and lack of resources make it difficult for you to do your job as want/hoped/expected, but lets face it, its not an awful.

We work in the housing sector, in the past months my staff were attacked with a knifes/baseball bat, physically sexually assaulted, and one even was false imprisonment for several hours before the police had to force entry. I myself at a multi agency meeting 4 months ago was attacked by a father and mother, which required stitches, your not alone in dealing with minority behaviour.

All jobs have there awfulness, il support DS school, however will not when they dont adhere to their own policies which resulted in my DS being very poorly.

OP posts:
Oliversmumsarmy · 08/12/2018 10:59

Fucket

I have been that parent with the child with a lost jumper. Only place to get a replacement if it wasn’t in lost property was at a specialist retail shop that closed at 5.30pm in a different town.

School just quoted school rules at me and told me Ds would be going into isolation until he had a jumper.

I think you are talking about your school. Not all schools are the same.

Ds in the first week at his new senior school managed to clock up 10 isolation days.

You might think that he must have been so bad to warrant such punishments.

I should say at this stage that Ds has ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, a slight hearing problem and couldn’t read.

All of which his teachers knew about.
He had a few isolation days because he hadn’t heard what a teacher had told him.

And a few because his work was not done (because he couldn’t read or write)

And the jumper incident.

He didn’t do any because I removed him from the school.

He would have spent the whole of his school life in senior school in isolation.

caroloro · 08/12/2018 11:02

Has anyone stopped to think that the draconian policies feed the anarchy and the anarchy feeds the policies and the policies feed the anarchy....and so on?

C8H10N4O2 · 08/12/2018 11:10

Has anyone stopped to think that the draconian policies feed the anarchy and the anarchy feeds the policies and the policies feed the anarchy....and so on?

Coercive control discipline policies are about low cost control. Large parts of education are now indirectly privatised, much was was done to health in the '80s and '90s. At the same time budgets have been cut over the last few years and a more authoritarian government reinforces attitudes which support policies we decry in other countries.

The long term future isn't part of the equation.

U2HasTheEdge · 08/12/2018 11:11

People need to stop ramping it up and accusing this child of assaulting someone and deliberately hurting the boy.

It is pathetic that you have to twist what happened to fit your agenda. This boy was his friend. He did not assault him, he did not mean to hurt him and claiming that he did makes you look stupid.

It was an accident, horseplay that went wrong. Nothing more.

TeddybearBaby · 08/12/2018 11:16

This thread has been painful to read (not because of you op) and you sound like a broken record. Again not your fault. Dear god I feel like I need a drink 😂😩.

Just wanted to say I hope your son is doing ok now and he sounds like a lovely boy, just a silly one. Which sounds just like my nearly 12 year old tbh. I hope the acorn boy is ok too x