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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To raise a formal complaint regarding school isolation

664 replies

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 07/12/2018 19:13

Last week a group of 20-30 kids were throwing acorns at each other in the school playing field, a child who also throwing the acorns, got hit in the eye which I've been led to believe required medical treatment, teacher asked who hit the child and DS said he believed it was his acorn, and that he was sorry, and did not mean to cause anyone harm.

He was given a days isolation plus after school detention, however on the day with only 10 mins notice.

His head of year called and said as he admitted it was him, they had no choice to follow the isolation process, however admitted they thought it was harsh, however rules and rules which we will adhere to and support the school with.

DS has NEVER been in isolation.

My AIBU is, Ds was made to sit in a 2 by 4 booth, being made to sit upright and face a white wall for the whole of the school day. NO SCHOOL WORK WAS GIVEN AT ALL

He could not tell the supervisor he had no course work as he isn't allowed to talk while in isolation, and tbh nor should even have to ask for course work, its the supervisors role to ensure DS has course work, which is the policy in DS school.

Only one teacher called the isolation supervisor to ask if DS was present, however did not send course work, not one of his other 4 teachers called to ask if he was present.

The isolation supervisor has confirmed all of the above is true Hmm his HOY has advised us that they have passed it on to the isolation manager who will be calling me, however even after chasing it up everyday for the past week and leaving messages for them to call me I am still awaiting the phone call.

My own DS ended up requiring medical treatment as he endured a headache with sickness and sensitivity to light, ds has never had a migraine before isolation, which the A&E doctors advised was the cause.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 07/12/2018 19:16

How old is he? Coursework?
Sounds old enough to know not to throw stuff at people.
Shame he had a migraine but if he hadn’t been messing about then he wouldn’t have ended up in isolation. You took him to A and E? Confused

Cachailleacha · 07/12/2018 19:18

I would complain, both about the isolation with no course work and unsuitable working conditions, but also if your child was the only one given consequences. All the children throwing acorns should have the same consequence, that your child was the one to injure someone was just chance.

lastqueenofscotland · 07/12/2018 19:19

A) you are being massively unreasonable to take him to A&E for a headache
B) if he’s doing coursework I’m assuming 15/16 year old so old enough to know better
C) just because he’s never been in isolation doesn’t exempt him from behaving like a little shit on occasion.

HTH
YABU

brighteyeowl17 · 07/12/2018 19:21

How does he has never been isolation justify what he did. And really sitting in silence is pretty much standard for isolation. You are massively overreacting and failing to see the issue that caused this, his behavior.

Bombardier25966 · 07/12/2018 19:21

What would you like the outcome of a complaint to be?

Expecting a child to sit upright for a day is no hardship. Why did he not mention the lack of work at break or lunchtime?

Escolar · 07/12/2018 19:21

All the children throwing acorns should have been punished IMO, not just your DS.

OlennasWimple · 07/12/2018 19:24

What do you want to complain about, and what do you want the outcome to be?

Before you start any complaints process, it's helpful to be really clear with yourself about these two points.

DelphiniumBlue · 07/12/2018 19:25

Just wondering how the teachers can either call the isolation room or short and send work while they are teaching?
It all sounds a bit extreme, but if your child injured another by his actions then he can expect to be punished.
Isolation is supposed to be boring, but are you saying your child had no homework or revision at all to be getting on with? No book to rea d? Sounds a bit odd to me.at my son's school the children are required to carry a reading book with them, plus they always have a huge bag of schoolbooks. And your child was unable to ask for reading or writing materia l as there weren't allowed to speak? Or mime, or write a note?
And you took them to a&e because of the bright lights hurting their eyes. Sounds like your child is pulling a fast one tbh.

Bombardier25966 · 07/12/2018 19:27

Child is apparently 9????

NorthernLurker · 07/12/2018 19:28

I think you should concentrate on raising a kid who doesn't assault other pupils.

TORDEVAN · 07/12/2018 19:29

I agree that all children throwing acorns should have been punished rather than just your DS. Teaches a message that acorn throwing is ok as long as it doesn't hurt someone!

hellojill · 07/12/2018 19:32

At our school an email gets sent out for kids when they go into isolation asking for work for them to do. Unfortunately when I'm teaching all day I don't get chance to check my emails until the end of the day so often miss them and therefore no work is sent. It's also sometimes impossible to send something if we are for example doing a practical science lesson. Beyond that I don't often have time to physically walk there and drop off the work because of lunch & break duties and I'm not going to send a child during the lesson as I don't believe they should they miss part of it because of another kids stupid behaviour.

I'm not sure why a teacher would need to call isolation and check if they were there as it is marked on our registers.

I also think you just need to get over this and move on. Your kid did something wrong, they admitted it and school acted in line with their policy. It's a pity your child got a headache, maybe he'll think twice before throwing things next time 🤷‍♀️

Nanny0gg · 07/12/2018 19:33

My AIBU is, Ds was made to sit in a 2 by 4 booth, being made to sit upright and face a white wall for the whole of the school day.

I'm sorry. Is this education in the 21st century or the 19th?

Allthewaves · 07/12/2018 19:33

Migraine is neither here nor there. Why couldn't he put up his hand and say to supervisor he had no work.

One day in isolation is hardly end of the world

MissMarplesKnitting · 07/12/2018 19:34

So you took your kid to A&E for a headache.
He hasn't even got the gumption to write a not asking for work? Or work he could get on with.

Isolation is supposed to be dull and encourage rule following to avoid it.

Your child might have blinded someone.

YABU

jessstan2 · 07/12/2018 19:34

I agree with Tordevan, all should have been punished, not just one. They were wrong and needed to be taught about responsibility.

However I had no idea that 'isolation' meant sitting in a cell with nothing to do, or read, for a whole school day. That's bordering on barbaric!

Poor kid. Had I been him, I would have walked out of the school and never gone back.

Winebottle · 07/12/2018 19:42

YABU.

While philosophically I think actions should be punished rather than outcomes, that is not how the world works. I also think it is harsh that people get put in imprison for death by dangerous driving when no doubt there are thousands of people who drive dangerously every day and happen to get away with it because there wasn't someone in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It is a life lesson. If you act recklessly and someone gets hurt, you are responsible for that.

The other stuff is petty. It is one day.

Original poster
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 07/12/2018 19:45

I called 101, they wanted to send an ambulance, we refused and took him to A&E, they suspected a bacterial infection due to his symptoms, at this point he had been throwing up for over 9 hours, after blood tests and CT scan it was then we were advised he was suffering from a migraine.

I agree DS should have been punished, he owned up to causing the child injury, even tho he isn't 100% certain that his acorn caused the injury, he advise he threw his in the air and 5 seconds later his friend was crying so he suspects it was his, hence why he said it was his. He has admitted fault and went to isolation with no complaints.

DS school, at break time the children cannot speak to anyone while in isolation, a cold meal is brought to them, again DS could not tell the supervisor he had no course work as he was told from the off he isn't allowed to speak and if he needed the toilet he was to go after he had eaten his meal, when the supervisor told him it was the toilet break.

DS school has lockers, his school books were in his locker, as he had PE for his 1st lesson the day of isolation.

Outcomes for my complaint is for the school to follow their own isolation policy.

  1. Time in used as constructively as possible
  1. Course work is given/sent to the child or if this is not possible a reading book to be given
  1. Teachers to make sure the child is where they should be.
OP posts:
MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 07/12/2018 19:46

I think your son could have easily asked for course work if he wanted. He got a migraine.

a child who also throwing the acorns, got hit in the eye which I've been led to believe required medical treatment

The other boy could have been blinded.

Original poster
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 07/12/2018 19:50

DS was not marked that he was in isolation, hence my frustration, it was a last min decision by the school, we were called to advise DS was in isolation, his form tutor nor his teachers were aware, again confirmed by his HOY.

DS went to registration before being pulled out of the PE changing room by another pupil to advise him he was in isolation.

OP posts:
cardibach · 07/12/2018 19:50

I’m confused as to how sitting still with a white wall in front of you would cause a migraine.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 07/12/2018 19:52

It's the glare of the white wall that can induce a migraine. I use tinted glasses to stop mine.

ASauvignonADay · 07/12/2018 19:52

YABU and rather dramatic.

Your DS was in the wrong. I agree him not having the right work and you being informed at late notice is less than ideal, but I think you are looking at this totally wrong.

You need to go and read some of the other threads about schools and the state of education right now and reconsider how you look at this. Your DS has harmed someone.

SnuggyBuggy · 07/12/2018 19:52

What strikes me is that this is teaching all involved that it's better to lie.

cardibach · 07/12/2018 19:54

His first rm tutor or teavhers may not have had notice of isolation, but he’d have been marked in the system each lesson. And even if he wasn’t, I don’t have time to check the whereabouts of every student. I don’t ask the class. His mates will have told the teacher.
A PP said they thought the child was 9. There wouldn’t be different teachers. Or is this wrong? How old is he?