Friend cancelling at last minute: AIBU?

[Dominiom]

Hi all, long time lurker, sometimes poster here needing some advice and perspective.

I have a friend - let's call her Alice - known for over 10 years and who i would consider a good mate. There has been periods in ours lives where we haven't been in contact ( different lifestyle choices, career relocation or job getting in the way; but we have never fell out). We reconnected during the summer and started meeting up every couple of weeks for lunch and the few times i have seen her it's been lovely. We're not super super close ( as in sharing the really deep and emotional stuff) but we've enjoyed meeting up to have a laugh, let off some steam and share some chat and goss etc. However lately her behaviour has just left me dumbfounded and questioning our friendship.

Within the last six months (basically the entire duration of our reconnected friend ship) she has cancelled on me six times - always at very late notice either on the morning on when we are to meet up or the night before, leaving it difficult for me to make alternative plans. She always has seemingly valid reasons, her 7 year old son is ill and off school or she's ill or her car has broken down and I have been understanding and never made too much of a fuss about it. But after this last time I'm left thinking really, this has happened again?! and why does something always happen or go wrong on the very day we have scheduled to meet up yet again? Yet she manages to see other friends and have nice date nights with her hubby without crap going wrong in the meantime! Am I being a bitchy cynic here and is this Purely Coincidental or can she just not be arsed to see me?

Frankly, after this last time I really don't know how to play it, I don't want to cut her off as a friend but equally, I'm starting to feel I'm being taken for a mug here and used as a doormat. I have had problems in the past of being taken for granted and used and I do struggle to assert myself at the best of times. I'm not confrontational in the slightest and if she is to be believed and taken at her word, I'm aware i could come across as being totally irrational and out of order if I call her out on this. What if her reasons are genuine and it's just a case of bad luck and timing?

Help me out here folks! any advice please?

Leave it to her to make arrangements in future. Then you'll know if she really wants to meet up.
She may well like you but have overcommitted herself and not be able to manage her time. Or other stuff you don't know about.
As you said, you like her but it's not a deep friendship. Leave it to her and see what happens.

I had a friend like that - cancelled 20 times in a year- including when I was already waiting for her. Kept giving her chances, had enough and decided to let her contact me. Haven’t heard from her in 3 years.

Agree leave it to her to come to you and make the arrangements. I bet you don’t hear from her ( don’t mean to sound harsh) she obviously doesn’t see you as a priority

Is it always you that suggests and makes the arrangements OP? You say you were meeting every two weeks after reconnecting. Maybe she was finding it too much and didn't know how to broach meeting less frequently. As PPs have said, leave it and let her arrange the next meet up, or drop her a text and say "You seem to be having a run of bad luck when we're due to meet up, so I'll leave it for you to arrange our next lunch when it's more suitable for you. Hope all is ok". What happens next will tell you how committed she is to the friendship.

If someone does that to me twice even I bin them off, unless they have a really valid reason.
What she is saying to you is that she doesn't value you or your time.I think everyone deserves better than to be messed around by flakes.

Similar to when you do all the arranging, and the other person never bothers to initiate contact I'm afraid. I've lost touch with someone I was once quite close to because, well, it was always down to me and once I stopped I never heard from her.

Just do what Cant suggests. Its kinda sad but no point being the only one putting an effort in.

This used to be me. I was hugely anxious.

Also you cant really call her out on it when shes telling you she cant be arsed with you. Please just move on OP and leave her to it.