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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To gently ask my PIL to back off...

3 replies

annoyedpiggy · 07/12/2018 11:36

When disciplining my just turned 2 year old. He has a speech and language delay that we're seeking professional help with and is often quite frustrated. As a result he can have some spectacular tantrums!

Today I met my in laws at soft play to spend some time with DS. We get on well although my opinion of FIL is not that high in all honesty, I'm not sure if this is clouding my judgement...He dismisses everything I say, always has spoken to me like I'm fucking 5 and generally a miserable bugger.

DS started having a tantrum towards the end. A little girl was following him the whole time and he was starting to get a bit fed up so had a screaming tantrum on the floor and kicked his legs out. He didn't kick her but I immediately said no, rushed over to avoid him hurting the little girl.

I was calm but stern, got down to his level and said "we don't kick, it's not very nice behaviour" "you could have hurt her" etc etc. In the meantime FIL is in the background shouting "OI" "don't do that" "OI"'again to try and get his attention. It felt way ott and a bit aggressive. He was shaking his head in disgust at DS and clearly showing disapproval at how I'd handled the situation. MIL is also chiming in "no DS" "don't do that".

I was so shocked I didn't say anything but I want to raise it with him, because it's not how I speak to my dc and I felt massively undermined by him. Poor DS had 3 people trying to get his full attention.

DH is pissed off and wants to talk to FIL. I feel like it might be better if I raise it with him? DH is happy to take my lead.

AIBU to do so? WWYD?

OP posts:
Motoko · 07/12/2018 14:28

Leave it to DH, they're his parents.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 07/12/2018 14:31

You both need to talk to them.

They completely undermine you as a parent and you shouldn't take that from anyone. You were dealing with it and had it under control

krustykittens · 07/12/2018 14:34

Wot previous posters said. And even if they had been following your lead in the way they spoke to him, it is not necessary for them to chime in like a bloody chorus. Your DS only needs one person to tell him off. But let your DH talk to them.

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