To be sick of kids at soft play!

[changedname10]

I follow my DD round at soft play, she's only 2 and has a speech delay so doesn't say much! We go once a week and without FAIL every time we are there another kid either pushes or hits her.. I am so sick of it! And the child that does it is always with a grandparent that is sat on there ass drinking coffee!

I follow my DD round to make sure A:she is ok and B: that she doesn't hit/push other children and if she does I can correct her!!!

AIBU to think people are just fucking lazy and should watch there kids!!!

Yanbu.
I'm forever telling other people's kids off at soft play, which I have never done anywhere else. It's always the ones who know their parent is nowhere near that behave badly. A kid old enough to know better grabbed my 1 year old by the throat and shoved my 3 year old over last time we went. Also there were some 8ish year olds barrelling around the under 4s area. I told them to get out.

apparently on MN when you're a mum you lose all agency in being your own person who wants a break occasionally. How DARE you play on your phone when you could be gazing adoringly at little Tarquinius

time and a place, and you know it.

No one is gazing adoringly at anyone, especially not at the feral toads from lazy parents, but don't expect parents who have to do double the work because you can't be bothered to be happy about it.

If you want a break, get a sitter, put your kids in nursery, pay someone to take over. Don't flog your little darlings onto other families who are just trying to have a break themselves.

I have seen kids bitting a little one, shoving them, being generally anti-social. Mine were never the victims because I was there to prevent it. The parents of the little horror? nowhere to be seen.

It's the same parents who ignore their crying kid who is desperate for the loos. I saw one not long ago, who ended up peeing his pants and looked so upset. It's disgusting.

It's amazing how entitled some people can be. Not all kids ignored by their parents are little shits, but interestingly, all the little shits are the ones with lazy parents nowhere to be seen. Funny that.

You currently follow your child around for her protection, will you still follow her around when she doesn’t need the same protection to ensure she behaves?

Almost all kids over 2.5ish are unattended on the equipment. Obviously! Imagine if they were all followed around by a parent!

I’m amazed that people really follow their kids around
I never did that. It’s not the done thing here - no one does apart from
The parents of very tiny children.

It’s not lazy to want to have a coffee while the children play

How else will they begin to learn to interact with other people and gain a bit of confidence

I get more annoyed at the parents who let their younger toddlers in the 5+ section and then complain that an older child has knocked them over

The only time I've ever told off a stranger's child was at soft play. The delightful boy, aged about 9 at a guess, was SPITTING on other children as they came out the end of a tunnel slide.

Hideous places.

Have to say I'm at how brash some children are - I've had six year olds tell me to move my baby out the way in the baby/toddler area because "we're playing and he's in our way". Honestly where do they get such an attitude so young from?!

And this continues in schools btw. I Feel bad for teachers dealing with them ( and their parents ) day in and out.

Under 3? Yup, watch your child, follow them, stay in their designated area.
3 ish and still not emotionally mature enough/still hitting? Yup, stay with your child.
4 and over and in the big kids area? Please, please parents, get off the frame. It isn't for you. That's the whole point of soft play.

My dc are too old for soft play now, so I've been through all the stages. I saw far more problems with parents 'helping' their too young child in an area they shouldn't have been, than older children in the designated under 2 area.

All I can say is no wonder we are raising a generation of snowflakes with zero resilience. I work with teens and they're coping skills when things go wrong are atrocious because they were rarely allowed play when they were younger without constant adult interventions. I agree when a child is much younger then other children playing around them you need to keep an eye on them but to expect older children's parents to be following them around and constantly supervising them is ridiculous. Yes keep the odd eye out to make sure they're in the right area for their age etc but that's it. And labelling them as "lazy" parents? How would even know that?

Re the lazy parenting comments.
Yes, in some cases it probably is.
But, quite often, it's eminently sensible parenting to let your dc run free. Make their own decisions, get themselves up the ladder, make friends etc etc pretty important stuff.

My suggestion is
under 4s stay with your child
4-6 watch your child
7 and over: sit and have your coffee

There is a difference between a bit of pushing and shoving amongst children playing together and children hitting and biting random children. If someone's child is doing the latter they need an adult with them.

to expect older children's parents to be following them around and constantly supervising them is ridiculous.

completely the opposite.
lazy parents are raising entitled kids with an attitude problem, and have never learnt to be told no and to respect others. Ask any teacher what they have to deal with.

By the time they start primary school, the children are more than used to handle a social life, make friends and deal with little issues. What they do not need to be dealing with is bullying, physical violence because a child twice their size has no respect, and no parent has ever bother telling them off - too lazy drinking their coffee the nose on their phone.

When I was little, it would have been acceptable for another adult to tell kids off ,and to physically remove a naughty one. Nowadays you can't touch or say anything to the snowflakes. So yes, you should supervise your child.

There's enough tutting and shake of the head in softplays to know that the majority has the same view, and would love to shove the bullies out of the way, but sadly cannot.

I can count on one hand how many times I've been to play centres and my eldest is 3 next month! We went to one last October and I was so put off we haven't set foot in one again up until last week. The kids were just horrible, one pushed my then nearly 2 year old off one of those ride things that you see in the supermarket, the floor wasn't padded there and it was lucky I was stood by her to catch her (kid was about 4). The kids mum wasn't even in sight, I told them they weren't to push other children but when I turned around she was doing it to another kid. The mums were just sat on their phones chatting and ignoring their kids and what they were up to.

When we went last week I walked around with my kids to watch what they were doing, I got a brew but made them go into a bit that I could clearly see them whilst I drank it. The one we went to last week was better and most mums stayed with their children or watched closely. Without sounding like a snobby twat the one with the horrid kids who weren't being supervised was in the rough bit of town, the one last week was in the nice part. The difference was staggering!

Come again, so soft play is nowadays NOT a place where you can allow children to run around and play? Where on earth can they do it then? Or are you supplosed to hover over them until they're 25?

Or, in the light of the thread where 11-year olds were not allowed to walk home without parents, I guess we will soon need to do exactly that. As children have had someone telling them what to do every second of the day and have never had the chance to consider their own actions.

I haven't braved the hell of soft play yet with DC but been with the DSC. Never had an issue tbh as they are over 6 so generally sensible. Tbh I was shocked how many people.were not with the tiny ones -if the child is under three they need watching in case they hurt each other or fall and get stuck as they are wobbly.
My ds goes to playgroups though and I often sit nearby while he bables away to other babies and rolls about. I only get involved if he snatches toys or to right him if he falls

@G5000 we're talking about young children not school age, and if your school age child is still smacking at soft play then your just a shitty parent aren't you

If your child is older than 3 or 4 then you should not be following them around the softplay equipment. And 99% of parents with kids that age don't.

Yadnbu! This is why I'll only go to soft play if we have the DSC as they can follow my DS around (and they enjoy going also! I'm not forcing them!)
Last time we went though, my DS wanted to go on one of those games at the side where you put a quid in and the horse/cow/whatever thing it is moves around, I put the quid in and was stood near my DS but was trying to catch DHs eye to go get me another drink, turned around to look at DS and another boy (clearly older than my DS) was forcing his way onto the machine and trying to push my DS off! I politely told him to get off as it was my DS turn (and my flaming quid in the machine) and the boy ran over to his parent who was literally sat at the table opposite the machine! Had she not been on her phone she might have seen what her child was doing and told him to stop herself, luckily I heard her back me up saying it's not his turn he can have a go in a minute but I just thought surely it's not my responsibility to teach other people's kids basic manners and parents should pay attention to where their kids are and what they are doing!

I still keep on eye on DS even though he's being followed by two older kids and would get involved if I saw him pushing another child, I'm certainly not sitting there on my phone the whole time!

On another occasion I witnessed a dad go down the slide with his child and immediately after another child came down (I hate watching the slides for this very reason, children have no concept of waiting until the person before them has move from the bottom) and crashed into the mans back. The man, instead of asking if the child was ok or maybe politely saying they should have waited, started shouting at him quite loudly. At that point I assumed the other kid was also the mans child as no body moved but then I watched that child walk away and go sit at the table near me where his parents were! I was horrified that they didn't go over when they would have been able to clearly hear the shouting and see it was their child on the receiving end of it - I reckoned another set of parents more interested in their phones.

Glad you're mother of the year op and your child is a perfect little saint.
However keep in mind. She's got to grow older herself, yet. You do not know what she's going to turn out like. I know someone whose child was like yours did no wrong. Mother like you very smug wallowy and judgemental. Constantly throwing quotes around such as 'Its how you bring them up' ect ect. Her child got to senior school and just turned. Funnily enough then it was in the lap of the Gods how they turned out and You can only do your best.
Also you don't know what's wrong with a child. Calling a parent shitty is nothing to about.

You don't know what that could do to a person. There are real people on here. Not just robots with a username.
TBH is parents like you who make mums feeling isolated. .

Those who don't want toddlers in the big kid area. How do you feel if parent takes the blame for harm to their child I.e 'we shouldn't be here anyway it's not your fault just an accident'.

. That is my attitude at soft play. My 2 year old gets very bored the baby bit. So I go to the big bit with her. I take it on the chin if an older child hurts her through being boisterous on the big kid zone. I only have myself to blame. It's part of learning for her too.
I
Feels like most things you do at soft play will annoy someone after reading this. I don't want to go anymore. We love it too!

Our softplay has an under 3s section but during the week in school time Im happy to roam over the other sections with my LO.
If a 4 year old bashes into her Im not happy about it but its a child, Im not going to get angry over it.

*The idea of going to these places is that the kids go and play and you get to drink brews, chat to other mums or mumsnet!

Yes you should keep an eye on them but not literally get on the play equipment and follow them around*

I do follow them around and I'm glad I do, the kids appreciate it and I've stopped kids (sometimes my own;)) trying to climb up spines, go the wrong way on things that mean they're going to bang badly into other kids, I've stopped fights, helped kids who had fallen while up high and were crying. I honestly thing it's the centres fault for not having people around the place and having signs up saying they're not responsible for the kids. My ds(6) came running up to me one day saying there was a girl trying to climb backwards onto a giant slide. She couldn't have been more than three. Just position employees at various parts of the soft play (the other day we counted 6 in the kitchen!!)