AIBU to think this is a bit of a big lie

[truthfairy]

On a short break with DP, for a big celebration for him. I have never been to the location (his choice) before, and throughout all preparations and plans, including meeting with friends who had been and asking them for advice, he led me to believe he had never been either. 1 day in he accidentally let slip he had been before with his ex. I wouldn't have minded at all, he knows that, but now feel quite misled and it has taken the edge off everything knowing that all the time we were planning things together - me thinking it was the first time for us both - he had actually done them before. What also annoyed me was that he wouldn't admit that he misled me, and kept pretending that I had known all along, which was ridiculous. Eventually he admitted that he had been avoiding talking about the previous visit but still assumed that I knew but I don't believe him, it makes no sense. I kind of understand why he did it, but feel like he used me a bit to get the experience he wanted. I haven't say anything since the original discussion because didn't want to spoil the trip but I do still feel a bit weird about it. Am I overthinking it (I do do that a lot)?

I get why you feel a bit funny about it, but I can't see how you could have come out of this without it being a bit awkward one way or another. If he'd told you he might have wanted to go somewhere else to stop you feeling off about it, but then you'd probably fell off that you weren't going to his preferred location just because of an ex... or you'd go anyway, and then feel off when making the plans or being there.

I don't think he used you to get the experience he wanted as such; it sounds more like him keeping this to himself meant you could both have the experience you wanted. Not that deceit is ever a good thing, just sometimes it seems like the less bad thing...

Sounds like he made the wrong call, so you might want to clarify with him that in future you'd prefer it be weird because you knew, not because you didn't, but apart from that I think I'd put this one behind me if it were me.