Quit job - anxiety

[rhopotomac]

Single parent. Work full time, high stress job. 7 y/o and a baby. Completely stressed and employer not supportive - constantly pushing and changing the boundaries. Offer flex working then make it difficult to do it.
Constantly piling on extra work. Spoken to them about this many times and they pay lip service then carry on. I have just been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and it’s almost like they see me as defective now. I’m tired, I want to see my kids more, and I feel really anxious. I’m constantly worrying.

AIBU to hand in my notice while job hunting so that I know the pressure is off? 3 month notice period.
IABU because I have no savings as a back up if I didn’t find a job in time.
OTOH, I don’t know if I stay I will completely burn out.
If I go off sick do employers still ask for sickness record?
I feel so unwell and I don’t know what to do.

Go to docs, get signed off sick and give yourselve time to relax and consider your options 💐

Thanks 6. Does a new employer ask for sickness absence on a reference? That’s what I’m worried about too. I’m rarely off sick but really don’t feel well enough to work right now so don’t want me taking a couple weeks now to affect things in future

Well they say it’s easier to get a job while you’re already employed and that’s probably true, although even THAT seems to be getting more difficult these days.

I woukd worry what other employers would think of me if I quit with no job to go to. They don’t know you, they don’t know your workplace and can make assumptions no matter how great YOU are.

I hate my job too although at least my kids are older and I am not a single parent. It is horrible to go to work and be stressed by your job all day. I am looking for other jobs all the time but for now am being a bit fussy. I have just decided to carry on but with less of a concern if I can’t do my job to the standard it should be done, due to reasons outside my control. I’ve changed my mindset a bit. I still have a work ethic and do the job to the best of my ability but am happy to explain to the people I give the service to why they are not getting access to the same provision they had before, and I don’t feel guilty about it as it’s outside my control!

I make sure I raise any concerns I have in writing about particular issues eg health and safety so that jt’s Documented. I
Explain to management why aspects of my job are not doable anymore and suggest ways that might improve things. Again, all on record in writing so that if it comes to it,, you have a record that you tried to find solutions to issues yourself and show willing.

If they are doing things which are downright illegal, OP, then it’s your union you need to go to for advice.

Sometimes you just need to detach and become more emotionless in work to deal with things outside your control. I get this would be very hard if your work involves vulnerable clients though:

I think you should get a new job before leaving. Could you get a part time one near home? Yes, new employers may well ask about sickness absence.

Employment is high at the moment so it shouldn’t be too difficult to find something unless your job is really niche.

Yes I do need to change my mindset a bit too. I give everything to my job but it’s just not worth what I get back.
I know in an ideal world I need to get another job before I leave this one but right now, I am just anxious about all of it. I’m so exhausted. But I don’t want to call in sick to get some rest and get my self together if it then causes me a problem getting another job (sickness record).