To not be happy about this girl being in DDS class

[WhokilledO2]

This is going to sound awful.

A girl joined DDS class in September. DD has some special needs and is quite vulnerable and DD immediately had some issues with this girl, disrupting her in class, ordering DD about and being aggressive with her if she didn't do what she said or give up the piece of equipment DD had and she wanted immediately.
She disrupted DDS learning for weeks (GCSE age) and nothing was done until DD got in trouble for not putting enough effort into a piece of work and also had a sensory overload.

DD was moved away from her only after I complained and the girl who sat next to her wasn't as much of a push over as dd. The troubled girl didn't like this and immediately tried to fight her. She was expelled from her old school for fighting according to the girl herself.

Today during mock exams she was disrupting again and did the finger across the throat motion and then physically went at a child when they left the classroom.

Various children have complained but the teacher has told the girls that she has had a tough life and they should give her a break .

My child has had a tough time too and I understand the child needs support but aibu to think that when she is being violent the kids shouldn't just be being told to give her a break?

Have you spoke to the education authority about it? I would.

Noy as yet. I'm aware she deserves an education like everyone else, she obviously has problems but I'm concerned about her aggression. Her first reaction is to threaten , hit out or ask for a fight.
Telling the kids they dhpiof put up with it because she's had a tough life is my issue .

*Not

The school have a duty to keep ALL the children in there care safe.
That includes DD and this girl.

I think if you wanted this girl’s behaviour managed better to keep your D.C. and other children safe you wouldn’t be untreasonable, but wanting her out full stop is a bit U.

I imagine having to SN children together is challenging and that causes a lot of issues too.

I think you need to arrange to speak to a teacher, as IME kids tell there parents things are a lot worse than they are for a reaction. (Although I appreciate this isn’t always true, but clarity always helps)

How is DD at the mo? What do you want to be done?

All the best xx

Also “by physically went at a child” did she assault them? I assume they’ll have assessed her risk/potential risk to others?

DD didn't see fully what happened outside , she saw the girl staring at another child and when the child said what she saw her do the finger across throat thing. She then saw the child having to be pulled off another in the corridor. She's always threatening to fight people.

DD hates her. She spent weeks making noise to try and get DD to react and demanding DD move so she could have the computer or machine or workspace DD was on even though others were available.

I just want a better response than give her a break really.

You could contact your DD's Head of Year and ask what measures are in place to keep her safe in school, seeing as she's been on the receiving end of this girl's attention.

Sounds like my DD's secondary school. What they probably mean is the girl has unpleasant parents they don't want to have to call in. So if she is entitled to be there like everyone else, are the school actually doing stuff to manage her behaviour?

So if she is entitled to be there like everyone else, are the school actually doing stuff to manage her behaviour?

They should be, school has equal responsibility to the other children who are having their learning disrupted as they have to the ones with SEND. I'd be asking the school what they are doing to deal with the issues that this girl is having and contacting the chair of governors if there isn't a satisfactory answer.

This makes me so angry.

When I was at college there was a girl there who repeatedly threatened me, I was absolutely terrified and basically told the same.
She’s had a tough life so be understanding.

The thing is though, certain behaviours in civilised society are wrong, full stop and shouldn’t be tolerated, irrespective of reason.

At the end of the day, happy, well adjusted people don’t act like that so she has obviously had a hard time of it which is sad but it still needs correcting else the behaviour continues to worsen..

I agree with a pp, I bet her parents are rough as arseholes and the school are petrified to say anything.

I've found out that the child who has issues shouted fight me, fight me then and when the girl ignored her launched at the girl she had threatened and punched her, she also apparently hit two other girls who stepped in to help .

The teacher said she had never seen the hit child so angry. No shit I would be angry too!!

I think there is a massive difference between giving a student another chance and just letting them off on account of her having had a bad time. It’s no good accepting poor behaviour without consequence. But you can teach the rest of the class to forgive them for an outburst.

The stuff involving other children is outside of your purview and the school won't discuss it with you.

It sounds like the stuff that does involve your dd fits the criteria of bullying. Children with sen are at a higher risk of being bullied and the school should be extra vigilant. The school should also have an anti-bullying policy. This should be published on their website. If not, write in and request a written copy. The policy should lay out the school's procedures for dealing with bullying, including which members of staff should do what at each stage. Calmly ensure that the school are following it. (although bullying is a deeply emotive issue, most schools respond to emotional parents by stonewalling them. If there is any likelihood that you will become upset or frustrated while dealing with them, conduct the discussion via email, so you can take your time to compose and consider your replies before sending. And obviously keep all the emails)