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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would this be a weird tradition to start for Christmas?

31 replies

Elphie54 · 06/12/2018 16:39

I didn’t grow up around Christmas traditions since I was raised in a Pagan household. DP and I have decided tp raise our daughter in a Christian tradition house hold and possibly even Catholic (He was raised Catholic and it means more to him to involve her in his faith than it does to me).

Any way, our dd is almost 2. She has a TON of baby toys that she doesn’t play with, but when we try to get rid of a few she gets really upset and all of a sudden wants to play with them again. We have been trying to teach her that there are other children who would love the toys she no longer plays with. When we say that we are going to give it to another child, she gets excited and puts toys in the box and no longer throws a fit over them.

I suggested a “toy sorting” party to be held before Christmas each year, so clean up old toys. I said that we can make it a condition of that stupid elf coming and telling her that the elf takes the old toys to children in need. DP thought that sounded a bit weird. Is it really that weird?

Yes I know she doesn’t fully understand yet, but she does seem to grasp the idea of giving to others.

OP posts:
Avonandice · 06/12/2018 16:41

Sounds a great idea

ChocolateTearDrops · 06/12/2018 16:41

Sweet idea. How does she react when the full box goes never to return?

AbsolCatly · 06/12/2018 16:41

I didn't make a big thing out of it but we did it every year before DD became a hoarder teenager who still loves cuddly toys - usually managed twice about March and October

moredoll · 06/12/2018 16:42

I don't think it's weird, but I do think your DD is still too young to properly understand the concept of sharing. Next Christmas she'll be old enough.

MrsJayy · 06/12/2018 16:43

No it sounds a lovely idea you can do the clear out your Dd gets to give her toys to others and it gives thatbloody elf something useful to do it is totally win/wiin.

pfwow · 06/12/2018 16:44

I think she's a bit too young but it's a lovely idea for later. With my kids I just swiped toys they hadn't played with for a while, and put them in the garage and if they didn't ask for them after a couple of months, I gave them away.

Elphie54 · 06/12/2018 16:45

“Sweet idea. How does she react when the full box goes never to return?”

She seems to forget all about it. I only take away toys that I haven’t seen her play with the past few months. Our local family shelter as well as our local DV shelter takes gently used toys year round, so I bring it to them.

“I don't think it's weird, but I do think your DD is still too young to properly understand the concept of sharing. Next Christmas she'll be old enough.”

I know she is still really young, but would want to start this year so it’s not something completely new next year.

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 06/12/2018 16:45

Why involve the elf? The reality is that other children are not so lucky- so yes it’s lovely to give toys to them. Christmas is a nice time to be nice.
Leave out the elf. That’s just extra nonsense for no reason.

Snowydaysaregreat · 06/12/2018 16:46

I've always said we need no give to children's homes Or hospital. Which we then take every 6m.
He isv now 12 nearly 13 and doesn't have toys.
But we do the same with dsd and will do with dd when she's old enough

ChocolateTearDrops · 06/12/2018 16:48

Could become a lovely tradition Smile and possibly one she'll recreate with her own children.

giftsonthebrain · 06/12/2018 16:49

Excellent and practical tradition. Charity starts in the home 🌲

MaidenMotherCrone · 06/12/2018 16:49

Acts of kindness and charity are encouraged in Pagan households too. Just saying.

thefirsttimer · 06/12/2018 16:50

That sounds a great idea, OP, and one that I think I will adopt myself so thank you'

Purpleartichoke · 06/12/2018 16:51

I know several families who have the elf gather toys. We just say that we are gathering toys for the charity shop, but that is what works for our family.

Elphie54 · 06/12/2018 16:55

“Acts of kindness and charity are encouraged in Pagan households too. Just saying.“

I never said they weren’t? I was asking specifically about Christmas because I only know of traditions from friends and DP. Not sure why you thought I grew up no giving to charity, that’s where I get my urge to donate things from.

As for why the elf-she already has seen it, figured we might as well as make it useful rather than just a creepy toy that watches you. Seriously, that thing is creepy. Growing up, of dolls moved, you were in a horror film, not about to celebrate a holiday lol.

OP posts:
NonaGrey · 06/12/2018 16:55

We don’t call it a “party” but we do have a clear out at the end of October every year. I think that’s pretty normal really.

We do have a tradition of shopping for and going together to donate to the local food bank immediately before Christmas though.

My children are growing up in a privileged environment, I want them to take a few moments amid the Christmas excess to consider othersless fortunate and appreciate what they have.

Jackshouse · 06/12/2018 16:57

Sounds a lovely idea but I have tried something similar with my 2.5 year old DD and she just gets upset. Now I am just removing toys when she is not here.

We do always put food in the food bank collection point when we go to the supermarket.

Camomila · 06/12/2018 17:06

I think its nice and tbh I'm surprised your DH finds it odd as a Christian/Catholic.
Advent is a fairly big thing in most Catholic churches and we always did some kind of christmas box/giving tree type thing when I was at school.
I want to start doing a reverse advent calander for DS next year (with food) He doesn't really 'get' his advent calander this year age 2.8

I agree elves on the shelves are creeepy Grin Mind you as a small child I was told the 'baby jesus' watches you which im sure a lot of people would find creepier.

Winlinbin · 06/12/2018 17:13

We are a fully Catholic household and I think it sounds like an excellent plan.

MaidenMotherCrone · 06/12/2018 17:17

Your question has nothing to do with religion so why bother mentioning it?

LittleLlamaontheduskyroad · 06/12/2018 17:24

That sounds great! I have a battle trying to clear out toys before Christmas every year. If it's something she's used to, then you'll be avoiding problems every year. Plus teaching her about charity. Win win.

MrsJayy · 06/12/2018 17:26

Tbf the op said she was raised pagan so maybe they didn't do Christmas

AjasLipstick · 06/12/2018 17:27

Can I just be irritating and point out that people seem to be misusing the term "tradition" a lot lately.

A tradition is a belief or behaviour passed down within a group or society (or family) with symbolic meaning or special significance with origins in the past.

This isn't a tradition. People keep talking about "starting traditions"

You don't start them. They occur naturally.

NKFell · 06/12/2018 17:32

I think it's lovely. We're Catholic and I got my DC involved with CAFOD, my eldest DS (9) asked me last week if it was time to buy a goat yet Grin

KaitlynRep · 06/12/2018 17:35

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