To think I must have done something bad in a previous life...

[worthygirl]

Obviously I am joking with my title but sometimes I look about me & feel like I know a lot of people that are very lucky.

Don’t get me wrong- I have 2 beautiful kids, a good job, great people in my life, am healthy etc.

But we have had bad luck financially. Missed the housing boat in terms of being priced out- by the time we saved a deposit, it’s been unaffordable and I don’t have family to help. Then DP lost his job & all our house deposit went on living for 9 months while we got sorted again. Rent is expensive.

Friend 1- parent bought her & partner a 400k house outright & have just gifted them another 200k so they are taking a year off work.

Friend 2- parents bought house outright for her

Friend 3- family gifted them a 300k deposit.

I know comparison is the thief of joy and honestly, I am trying to make my own way & be the best I can. But no one is ever going to give me anything and sometimes it gets me down that I am stuck renting, trying my hardest to get by.

I know I sound self pitying and I don’t mean to- i have a roof over my head and in my normal moments, I am very grateful for my life.

it’s just got me down as all I seem to hear is people being gifted life changing sums of money.

Aibu to just feel a bit envious? I will get a grip again by tomorrow and thank my stars for everything else!

Also remember that every time people inherit, that means they lost someone. I know people who were able to buy a house young because they lost a parent. Think they'd rather their parent was still alive tbh!

I agree the housing situation in the UK is screwed up though, it's become unaffordable for so many and that isn't good.

We are in the process of buying a house, DH owns a property outright that he is selling so we can afford something with a smallish mortgage. From the outside I can see it looks as though he was gifted the property, as he tells people his parents gave him the money for it. However, truth is, the bulk of the money came from a tragedy he suffered through some years ago, but he doesn't really talk about it. So I'm sure I have friends who think we're super-lucky to have this "gifted" property that we can now sell to buy our first house buy they don't know the whole story.

Reality is, DH still suffers with anxiety and depression because of what happened and our lives are tough due to that, we don't really have any friends as he finds it hard to go out our me to go out without him. We also suffered several years of infertility so have no kids yet.

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that you have a lot to be thankful for, they're just different things that others have to be thankful for. Allow yourself half-an-hour of self-pity then crack on with your life and appreciate what you have. And I don't mean that harshly! We could all do with focusing on the good in our lives, I'm sure.

The thing is it's not either or. You can be extremely grateful for the things you have, your health, your children, the roof over your heads, your jobs - but still feel a pang of envy for people who seem to get life handed to them on a plate.

Remember when you were little and didn't want to finish your meal? Being told that starving children in Africa would be grateful to have it didn't make the broccoli taste any better, did it?

As long as it doesn't turn into soul destroying bitterness, I don't think you're morally corrupt if you occasionally think that life isn't fair, however much you DO have.

I don’t mean to pile on, you’ve said you’re having a bad day and just want a moan. But truly. There are many people renting like you who have none of the good things in your life.

If you can allow yourself to be brought low by these friends, you need to consider whether they’re good for you. Surrounding your self with people who inspire envy or jealousy (especially over money) isn’t healthy. Doesn’t mean they’ve done anything wrong, nor you. This is just the way it is. If you can’t deal with it easily, perhaps you need to change the company you keep.

You were having a bit of a downer Op, you are human. It’ll pass.

@worthygirl I know what you mean. People do have it worse but I feel like you do some days.

That doesn’t sound like bad luck, it sounds like you have a lot to be really thankful for. You just know people who have very wealthy and generous parents.

Health. Yours, your kids, your families health is the ONLY thing that truly matter.

Your friends are in exceptional circumstances. They are not the norm whatsoever

With the greatest respect Yabu

There are so many people worse off. Including me. Be grateful for each moment.

You are very lucky that you don't even realise how lucky you are!

That sounded better in my head

But seriously, count your blessings. Life can be very cruel and very short...

Count what you have

I know a lot of people who have been gifted huge sums, I'm in a position where I'm likely to inherit debt. It can get you down when you struggle to do your best and everyone (seemingly) gets that leg up and you don't.

A lot of people would be jealous of you - 2 children, good job, good family/friends and healthy. Its not bad luck that you weren't gifted huge amounts of money, it's the norm.

My parents couldn't help me financially very often as they were broke. However, if they had that kind of money, I'm 100% certain that they would have helped me buy a house.

I've given up on the idea of buying somewhere now because, like you, I don't have anyone to help me out. So instead of being jealous of my friends owning houses, I concentrated on getting the best possible rental property for us.

There are pros and cons to owning a house. The couple who are taking a year off work are being silly - if you own your house then you're obviously responsible for everything from minor repairs to major building work. They will end up blowing through that money very quickly, especially a couple who gives up paid employment at the first sign of a little financial freedom.

Come back in 5 years and let us know how friends 1, 2 and 3 are doing - I don't think it'll be all sunshine and rainbows for them just because they've had cash thrown at them.

There will always be people better off than you and people worse off, just think you have to think about the things you do have and cherish...grass is always greener and we all wish for what we don’t have...I certainly do anyway

I have to tell myself, great DC great DH roof over head food in belly and warm, but I like to occasionally rant over the unfairness of people around being luckier

You really need to get a grip. If any of your family were to fall seriously ill, or yourself, you would look back on this ridiculous post and realise how ungrateful you really were. You are incredibly lucky.