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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I deserve better (job wise)

49 replies

Needadoughnut · 06/12/2018 16:16

Overachiever my whole life... Sister is am academic in European law in Switzerland, cousins are doctors, senior corporate person and a CFO. I used to have a fairly senior role in an international tech company, have an MSc from a red brick university... Moved with exH to middle of nowhere (was able to move my job with me) but last February was made redundant... Since then I've been doing minimum wage jobs, caravan park receptionist, KP and lately a pollster. Times aren't easy and I find it almost impossible to not get depressed about it. Is this normal? Or am AIBU?? My previous job was fairly niche and no matter how many CVs I send I've only had a handful of interviews... Last feedback was that I was over confident and my English was not plain enough :/

OP posts:
FrazzyAndFrumpled · 06/12/2018 16:21

Well the feedback that you’re overconfident may be true, if you start your post with “Overachiever my whole life” Hmm it’s also irrelevant what your sister/cousins/neighbours do for a living.

What type of jobs are you applying for? Maybe you need to consider what transferable skills you have and think about where else they can be put to good use.

greendale17 · 06/12/2018 16:22

I would feel the same as you OP.

Loopytiles · 06/12/2018 16:23

Foreseeable risk when you moved to the sticks.

HowlsMovingBungalow · 06/12/2018 16:24

Out of work here too so I know how you feel not having a job, I'm not an 'over achiever' though and always have had these types of shit job.

Life is tough.

Twickerhun · 06/12/2018 16:26

Did you post this yesterday? I’m sorry you are struggling sounds tough

Original poster
Needadoughnut · 06/12/2018 16:27

Frazzy that's just the context for how I was raised.

Well at first I applied for jobs tangentially related to my degrees and the company I used to work for. Thay hasn't given many results so after some thinking I rephrased my CV as a PM (which more or less is what I was).

I've applied for managerial jobs in general as there aren't that many tech companies where I live.

OP posts:
OutragedERIC · 06/12/2018 16:28

You can probably do better, not sure why you would ‘deserve’ it though really?

I’m also not sure why your sister and cousins’ jobs are relevant.

Keep plugging away, take on board whatever feedback and adjust if necessary. Hope you get something you’re happier with soon.

Loopytiles · 06/12/2018 16:29

Are you stuck where you’re now living?

Original poster
Needadoughnut · 06/12/2018 16:30

My mother actually once she said she "failed me" as I ended up making a living out of washing dishes... When you went to private school and your parents see all sort of education it as an "investment" I can understand their disappointment.

Ticket I did post about my upcoming job interview... I'm trying to be hopeful but not too much.

OP posts:
TiddleTaddleTat · 06/12/2018 16:30

It occurs to me that the biggest issue is where you are living. Can you commute to a bigger city where there may be more interesting job options?

Original poster
Needadoughnut · 06/12/2018 16:31

Also the context of my family si that I obviously feel like a loser in comparison. My cousin said I was the most overqualified receptionist at some point.

OP posts:
OutragedERIC · 06/12/2018 16:32

Are you doing all the LinkedIn thing, and all that jazz

CherryPavlova · 06/12/2018 16:32

In what way have you ‘overachieved’? I’ve never met anyone who has actually overachieved. We live in the sticks and have good jobs.
It may well be youncome across as arrogant at interviews.

What field do you want to work in? Your sibling’s careers are entirely irrelevant.

Original poster
Needadoughnut · 06/12/2018 16:32

I am actually stuck where I live, that's my reality. Being divorced with children makes life harder in that way.

OP posts:
sansou · 06/12/2018 16:33

If you live in the middle of nowhere, you know that you need to move or be prepared to move to where these types of jobs are located.

TiddleTaddleTat · 06/12/2018 16:34

Do you have any skills that can be used for online or remote work? I started up a small editing / proofreading business at one point.

Dulra · 06/12/2018 16:36

Are you getting interviews but not successful in getting the job? If that's the case you need interview coaching it is a very short time that you have to prove to strangers that you are the best candidate for the position. Well worth investing in coaching for it and possibly a career psychologist

Original poster
Needadoughnut · 06/12/2018 16:36

Tiddle I could indeed, I used to work remotely and that was terrible for my MH so I try to stay away from it if I can. I live a very isolated life, reason why I saw being made redundant as a blessing. Naively I thought it would be easier to find a job.

OP posts:
Original poster
Needadoughnut · 06/12/2018 16:38

Dulra I tend to handle myself fairly well at interviews. In my opinion it's either my CV or the cover letters. One recruitment agency admitted that they didn't call me as they thought I was overqualified for the roles I was applying for.

OP posts:
YeOldeTrout · 06/12/2018 16:42

What does 'deserve' mean? I'm puzzling over that. Do you mean
you should hold out for better & not apply for low skill jobs?

Since you're getting depressed, sounds like you are blaming yourself. If 'deserve' means 'I must be fucked up that I can't get this thing I want' then YABU.

YeOldeTrout · 06/12/2018 16:43

xpost. Your family sounds spectacularly unsupportive. Do they think putting pressure on you will make the more prestigious jobs magically appear?

Loopytiles · 06/12/2018 16:46

Right, so unless your ex agrees to move somewhere with better prospects or you decide and get legal permission to leave the area, you’re stuck.

How about researching the local jobs market and larger employers? Networking or volunteering to seek a foot in the door? “Dumbing down” your CV?

Or doing something yourself, with low set up costs?

Ignore negative family comments if you can! And the “inner voice”. Shit happens and has put you at a disadvantage in earning a good wage. Can’t go backwards now, so you’re working to make the best of it.

Original poster
Needadoughnut · 06/12/2018 16:47

I don't know how to phrase it without sounding entitled (overall I do know I come across this way), but I'd didnt study for 7+ years after leaving school, broke my back to build a career, etc., To end up struggling to pay the bills. I find it bizarre that
80-90% of the time recruiters don't even consider me for an interview. I'm on a couple of programmes to get me into employment.

OP posts:
StormTreader · 06/12/2018 16:49

You may find that you need to tailor your language and approach to match your target market. Whats seen as knowledgeable, go-getting and refined in the city may be coming over as arrogant, snobby and waffly in the country. You also have the problem that these negatives will be magnified if you're a woman, sad but true.

You may need to moderate your presentation to be a little more softly-softly.

Want2bSupermum · 06/12/2018 16:50

Make your own job by starting a business. Figure out what simple problems can be fixed by simple solutions.