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Original poster

To fear I may have overreacted

82 replies

Boomah · 06/12/2018 09:10

I'll try and keep a long story short.
I woke up very grumpy this morning after a bad nights sleep. My DH occasionally has night terrors and last night he had one and it's terrifying, he screams with so much anger and it's hard to wake him from it. It's not the best way to start the day so, although I know rationally it's not his fault and he can't help it, I was snappy this morning at 6am. We went back to sleep but ended up all getting up later than usual.
Anyway so we all get up ready to do the school run. I have an interview today so DH is taking them to school. He has a habit of taking his time in the mornings, a nice long shower, 'drying off' in a towel. However we all got up a little later than usual so I was abit miffed that he went to have a shower 30 minutes before he and the kids were due to leave, leaving me to get them ready/make lunches/get packed ect. I got it done, and he's still in the shower 15 minutes later. I figured I would give him a scare and get him moving, and also apologise for snapping, so I unlocked the door quietly and after a moment or two I realised he was masturbating! I was furious. They had to leave in 15 minutes, he's gone and left me to do every thing, I've come to say sorry and he thinks it's an appropriate time to have a wank? (Btw don't have a problem with that although it did take me by surprise, in 10 years I've never caught him out and didn't really know how to react anyway)
So he's pissed off with me for still being angry with him, I'm pissed off that he's an inconsiderate prick. But I fear I've over reacted here. Would anyone else be annoyed?

OP posts:
AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 06/12/2018 10:51

He's clearly got his little routine in the morning and won't break it for man nor beast! He's a CF. Or a CW in this instance. No objection to wanking but this really wasn't an appropriate time.

Hikers · 06/12/2018 10:57

@KissedByFire If you’re that determined to attract some attention to yourself why not start your own attention-seeking thread instead of hijacking someone else’s? Hmm

pudding21 · 06/12/2018 10:58

OP I am not going to comment on whether you over reacted or not, but have a look at CBD oil for night terrors.

Its legal, it doens't get you high, and it works.

The guy I am seeing has night terros, sleep walks etc when stressed. Since taking CBD oil he sleeps much better and hasn't had any episodes.

CarrieBlu · 06/12/2018 10:58

KissedByFire if what you’ve said is true, your behaviour is controlling, abusive and very, very unhealthy.
What do you do, watch your DH 24/7?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 06/12/2018 11:01

KissedByFire bet my house your husband wanks Grin

TenForward82 · 06/12/2018 11:05

KissedbyFire may be in a sub-dom relationship. Not that remarkable and not worth attention seeking over.

Tippexy · 06/12/2018 11:06

I hope cleaning the shower isn't your job? He's clearly doing it every time he's there which is why he takes so long.

jessstan2 · 06/12/2018 11:07

He sounds very immature and cannot prioritise.

An issue that needs to be addressed.

Rachel0Greep · 06/12/2018 11:21

He should have been the one getting the children ready. That is very selfish behaviour, IMO.
So, no, you didn't overreact.

Best of luck with the interview.

diddl · 06/12/2018 11:37

Tbh, I think that you should just have shouted that you were leaving & left him to sort everything out.

So a long shower every morning??!!

Does that mean that you're always left to organise everything whilst he has a wank?

buckingfrolicks · 06/12/2018 11:38

Frankly OP you know why he takes so long in the shower now don't you? Every morning. It's his little morning routine.

RosemarysBush · 06/12/2018 11:43

Some people only take a minute or two to have a quick wank. Just saying.
He was still being inconsiderate though, not helping you before your interview (hope went well? X)

WhyAmISoCold · 06/12/2018 11:51

Why is it always men who can put themselves first and women who have to run around after the kids. Really pisses me off.

KissedByFire · 06/12/2018 11:57

Why is it always men who can put themselves first and women who have to run around after the kids. Really pisses me off.

Exactly. And onus should be on men to improve. But in reality we need to call these men out more if we want a drastic change. Particularly when it comes to educating sons on what is expected from them towards women.

trojanpony · 06/12/2018 12:01

WTAF?????

I cannot imagine this ever happening in my house.

You had an interview...!!!! Is he usually such a selfish shithead?

gamerchick · 06/12/2018 12:02

I'd also be furious that he was masturbating like some entitled little wanker. Just my personal standpoint, but DH knows full well he's not permitted to masturbate and any sexual relief he's permitted is entirely my decision

If you're into the Dom bollocks is it really relevent on this thread? Hmm

*Dear me. Do you hand about in a dungeon in a basque, Kissing?

I'm not into any of that stuff thank you so I don't know why you choose to mention that on this thread

So you are just abusive and controlling then? Hmm you don't get to control that shit, fuck me poor bloke.

SparklyMagpie · 06/12/2018 12:04

I'd also be furious that he was masturbating like some entitled little wanker. Just my personal standpoint, but DH knows full well he's not permitted to masturbate and any sexual relief he's permitted is entirely my decision

Fucking hell 😂😂😂 does he need permission to crack a smile aswell?

gamerchick · 06/12/2018 12:05

Yes now you know why he has such long showers, selfish fucker.

Mind I wouldn't put up with screaming in the night neither, he'd be shoved into a sleep clinic.

No more long showers when short on time, that's a proper come to jesus conversation that is.

Pachyderm1 · 06/12/2018 12:08

I'd also be furious that he was masturbating like some entitled little wanker. Just my personal standpoint, but DH knows full well he's not permitted to masturbate and any sexual relief he's permitted is entirely my decision.

Bloody hell. Do you have a dom/ sub relationship going on? If so good for you if it’s consensual, but you can’t extrapolate anything from your very particular situation to apply to others who don’t share that kink!

Original poster
Boomah · 06/12/2018 12:21

Interview went well, thankyou! Will find out this afternoon.

He's normally pretty good. He tends to have a shower while the kids are eating breakfast, we're normally more organised too (lunches done the night before, uniform already laid out) but we didn't do it last night because we were getting our hair cut by a friend and it went on later than expected. So normally I wouldn't mind, and it's not normally left down to me unless he has work (and vice versa). But you'd think considering how short on time we were, and that he's working from home today, that the shower could have waited!

OP posts:
AdamNichol · 06/12/2018 12:45

I once had to teach a class on addiction. Part of the lesson was how to diagnose in the early stages, and part of that was when a behaviour gets prioritised causing you to miss/be late for work, travel, deadlines, et al.

Potentially, he may have a genuine problem here.

Snowwontbelong · 06/12/2018 12:52

Is your bathroom door easily unlocked? Dc getting in there during penis studies would concern me if it is!!

Original poster
Boomah · 06/12/2018 13:08

AdamNichol I have never caught him before. If there is an issue this is certainly the first I would know about it!
Snowwontbelong it's not easy to unlock. It has a little ridge where you can turn it with a penny. I've let myself in before to make him jump, it was honestly intended as a prank

OP posts:
Vampiratequeen · 06/12/2018 13:36

That is really inconsiderate OP, I have no problem with wanking, but there is a time and a place and in the morning when you are in a rush is definitely not the time, he could have waited until after the kids were at school and he had an empty house.

@KissedByFire You sound very controlling, I feel very sorry for your poor DH. If it was a man telling a woman that wanking wasn't permitted in the house it would be classed as an abusive relationship, how is what you are doing any different. He should run for the hills imo and I bet you anything he does it anyway. Wink

gamerchick · 06/12/2018 13:43

Yeah he probably gets off on the danger. I dread to think what the punishment would be if he's caught.

Can't get over that at all, not allowed to wank!!