To ask you to talk me down

[Cheekysquirrel]

I’m so anxious this morning and I don’t know what to do with myself. The panic is absolutely dreadful. I’ve no idea how I’m going to get through the day.

Hi Squirrel. Can you break the day into chunks, think about getting through each little piece of the day in turn? Can you take a small thing in your pocket to remind you that there is something to smile about today?

Does deep breathing help at all? I use a free app and that can be great, it gives me a focus.

Can you eat something? I know it’s hard but it’s a start.

Also can you get outside for even a 10 minute walk? Not sure if that’s possible but will almost certainly help a bit.

Sorry you’re feeling so anxious, it sucks

I’m really tired as I’m not sleeping and I’m also not eating and I know those things aren’t helping me.
It just feels like nothing will ever be ok again.

Be good to get something into you, even if it is a small thing. Do you want to talk about what is making you feel so anxious?

Oh squirrel I've had days like this and things will feel better. Try to eat something. The days I feel worse are when I haven't slept well. Have some breakfast and go for a walk. The fresh air helps me to clear my mind of negativity.

Dh has been away for nearly a month on business and I’ve been on my own which always makes things harder - I know single parents have to manage all the time like this so I should just get a grip but I’ve found it really hard.
I’m just so sad about everything. I hate Christmas because it reminds of a particularly awful time and so this time of the year when everyone expects you to be happy I find really tough. I know lots of people do for various reasons, it’s not just me.

This sounds awful. I feel for you. What is the first thing you can do today? Or are you struggling to get going at all?

Just cos “single parents do it” doesn’t mean it isn’t hard for you. It’s okay to be struggling.

Doesn't make it any easier, so don't be too hard on yourself. Try and do something nourishing for yourself today even if it's small.

Single parents adapt their lives to fit the circumstances. It’s not the same as having to manage when your life is planned around having two parents.

Op so sorry you are having a hard time. Yes it’s a bloody tough time of year. Nearly 8 o’clock and it’s still dark outside, yuk.
Like a pp said, break you day into chunks and just keep getting to the end of the next bit.

I just haven’t had any ‘space’ from my children - particularly my one who isn’t at preschool yet since dh went. I know this makes me feel worse. My small one isn’t in bed until 9pm as that’s just how she is and trying earlier results in frustration so I don’t get much time in the evening either.

Thank you for your kind words.

I wish the impending doom feeling would go away.

Do you have anyone who could help you for a few hours? I find an SOS call to someone makes me feel better even just knowing help is available

No unfortunately there isn’t anyone.

Are you ok with going out?
If so wrap up and on the way back from the school run hit the park and let littlest burn off energy. Then mooch round the shops just stay around people have little conversations. Go to the library or childrens center for a play group. Try and fill your day and get something easy in for dinner. Some snacks for yourself for the half hour between littlest bedtime and when you fall asleep to have whilst watching crap tv/reading a book.
You can do this I know its hard. When is dp coming back?

He is away for another week and then back for a few days and then away again for a few days right before Christmas.
My children are very excited about Christmas which is making them even bouncier than usual.

Get yourself a hot cuppa and some toast. Put adult tv on, preferably a news channel. Get out of the house for some air later. Try to find some adult company, maybe at a toddler group or storytime, etc.
Try to take pleasure and comfort from small things. Start looking for the good and beauty around you. Find yourself a set of positive things associated with this time of year, concentrate on them and close your eyes to the rest.
Embrace having your children around, don't worry about being a perfect parent or having a tidy house, just go with the flow for a bit.

Do you have Home Start in your area? I used to be a volunteer with them and would spend a couple of hours twice a week with a mum in very similar circumstances to yours.

I gave the mums I worked with a bit of practical help with the children or looked after them while they had a break and a bit of time to themselves. I was also there to listen to them non judgementally if they wanted to talk about things they felt they didn't want to discuss with their friends or family. This might help you a bit and you can self refer.

One of the mums I worked with said it was the best bit of her week when her children were little and she used to really look forward to me arriving as for a short time she knew she wasn't having to manage everything by herself.

Thinking of you today.

I used to volunteer for homestart (the irony) so I’d feel a bit weird about asking for help from them tbh. I know quite a lot of their funding has been cut as well although they are still operating in my area.

How are you doing this evening @cheekysquirrel ?