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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cut off contact with my mother

6 replies

Lanz91 · 06/12/2018 06:46

I don't even know where to begin.. This is something I've discussed with those close to me but I'm interested in hearing from outsiders opinions and maybe even some who have been in a similar position.

Basically my mother is a master manipulator and compulsive liar. 7 years ago I discovered that she had been using my pictures online and pretending to be me, I was 20 when I first noticed this. She took photos of me and of me and my friends off of Facebook (she doesn't even have her own page) and I found a blog full of my pictures and of my friends with made up stories. There was even one instance I caught her taking a photo of me while I was tanning. I discovered her use of my photos because she left her blog page open and never cleared her history. I hit her up after weeks of contemplating how to even approach this and she got defensive and locked herself in her room for days and played victim and I ended up being the bad guy for causing the conflict. I suspect she continued to catfish after this but I didn't want to offend her (?!?!?!?!) so I let it be. I moved out shortly after and I started a YouTube channel for fun before going into full time employment. Just to note, I also deactivated my Facebook but later discovered she was using screenshots of my VIDEOS as photos. My dad passed away around that time and she moved cities and I didnt really look into it any further, hoping it may have stopped. When she came back a year later she seemed to have changed completely, I was so happy I finally had a normal mother and we grew a really great bond together. Recently my partner and I allowed her to stay with us because she had quit her job and was going overseas to spend time with her family.

SO she left for overseas a couple of weeks ago and we had been regularly face timing and sending messages. She would send photos and videos but one email she sent contained a weird name as the name of the account she used. It was her new blog name, after looking into it we found that she was still using my photos and she was using my old videos off of YouTube and claiming my daughter to be hers etc. My brother sent her an email exposing her but not telling her which page he found. She even posted a video of her old bosses house claiming it was hers with the title "home sweet home"

Since, she's deleted all of the videos that were suspicious and dodgy and apparently deleted her Facebook but her response to my brother was basically:

"Oh that was from a long time ago and you already knew about it, thanks for making things worse by telling your sister. Yes I feel sorry for myself, to know what my children think of me"

She's tried contacting me and she's not given a proper apology at all. I love her but I've had enough. This isn't even the worst she's done to us but it's currently the big problem.

Am I being unreasonable to cut her off completely? She clearly needs help but I doubt she would actually get it.

OP posts:
CodeOrange · 06/12/2018 17:56

Wow, I think that as she is playing the victim and not showing remorse then I would go NC.

Do you have any idea why she wants to pretend your pictures are of her? Is she trying to impress somebody? It's seems like a strange thing to do.

Lanz91 · 06/12/2018 18:18

She has quite a "following" and I know on some occasions she has been sent gifts. Attention? I grew up with her always in the computer on chatrooms. So much so that I would ask her for help with homework for example and she would just ignore me. Before she used my pictures she used my brothers ex wife's.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 06/12/2018 18:25

Report her to whoever's hosting the sites.

Be careful with the NC. You want to be able to see what she's up to

Feefeetrixabelle · 06/12/2018 18:28

Go NC be free of her craziness.

Feefeetrixabelle · 06/12/2018 18:29

Also if your still posting consider adding a very visible water mark for the next 6-12 months to stop her screenshotting more and then when your sure she’s picked it in just use a discrete watermark.

Lanz91 · 06/12/2018 18:45

That's a great idea! She would never pick up on it. Also in that video where she was showing off "her house" she made every effort to ensure she wasn't caught in any reflections.

OP posts:
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