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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parking etiquette

45 replies

KonaMum · 05/12/2018 21:27

We live in a tiny village. There are a handful of houses on our little terraced row. The houses at either end have garages. The households in the middle have always parked one car outside our own home (tiny cottages on a single track lane, just wide enough for a car to park outside our houses) and any additional vehicles got parked further down the lane. No problem. We initially did not realise that this was the accepted etiquette (and had two cars) but one of the neighbours popped us a quick note explaining that this is how they had usually parked and would we mind parking one of our cars down the lane so that everyone was able to continue to park outside their own houses. We were happy to oblige and have since got rid of one of our cars anyway.

New neighbours have moved in. They have three cars. Can now never park outside (or indeed near) the house. I wouldn’t mind but I have a young (but incredibly heavy, 91st centile) baby whom I am now having to wrestle into and out of his car seat, often in the pitch black, down a country lane and carry back to the house because three able bodied adults are a bit thoughtless.

I am far too non-confrontational to mention it in passing and was secretly hoping that one of our other neighbours would have a word or do another polite letter. I’d feel like a complete twat writing a letter myself. WIBU to just continue quietly seething and passively aggressively talking loudly to DS about how dangerous it is that I have to carry him up a dark lane with no pavement? 😬

(I am fully aware that we are lucky to have nearby on street parking and that we have no legal rights to it!)

OP posts:
Cheby · 05/12/2018 21:31

Knock on the door and ask politely. Worst case scenario they say no and you’ve lost nothing.

Snowwontbelong · 05/12/2018 21:35

Could you ask the neighbour who wrote you the note to generate a similar one and post it in the dark?!

UhUhUhDennis · 05/12/2018 21:35

Seriously? Woman up. At the very least pop a note in. Explain the heavy baby and walk in the dark bit especially.

BrightStarrySky · 05/12/2018 21:38

Best way is to ask politely in person. Notes are too easy to misinterpret and that could cause things to escalate.

redandwhite1 · 05/12/2018 21:39

Definitely pop a note in! Like someone said worst case scenario they ignore it, best case they don't!

I know how you feel though, we have limited spaces and the non children people always park in the spaces immediately outside my house so I end up carrying a child plus bags etc in the space outside their house grrrrrrrr

KonaMum · 05/12/2018 21:43

God I’m a total wuss 😳

OP posts:
DontCallMeCharlotte · 05/12/2018 21:48

I have a similar situation. I amazed myself and womanned up and asked them to park one of their cars elsewhere. He was charming and assured me he would. And then never did. Wanker.

Hope you have better luck than I did!

StepAwayFromGoogle · 05/12/2018 21:54

I'd do what @Snowwontbelong said and get the original neighbour who spoke to you to do his thing.

AntMoon · 05/12/2018 22:01

Parking problems make me so anxious!

But yes, definitely an in-person conversation rather than a note. A note would get my back up, I don't know why.

I'd be a wuss and send my husband to ask!

Lollyice · 05/12/2018 22:02

Don't be a wuss, go and speak to them. I parked a few doors down from my house for 20 minutes when a road roller was outside my house and got a note on my car. Unfortunately, I had driven off before spotting the note and couldn't remember which gate I was parked near, so have no idea who I might annoy again!

MikeUniformMike · 05/12/2018 22:04

Don't write a note. Ask in person.

HugeAckmansWife · 05/12/2018 22:06

We had almost exactly this scenario. The next door house was rented so had 3 different tenants in the time we lived there. The last lot had 3 cars, two of which never moved so basically he took up 3/4 of the row permanently. Why rent a house with on street limited parking if that's your situation? Given the screaming rows we could hear through the wall we also wussed out of asking him to put his extra cars elsewhere but when I had 2 under 2 and had to park up the road it was irksome to stay the least. Go and ask nicely and see whatg happens

Mamawingingit1234 · 05/12/2018 22:08

Have you met them? Are they approachable?

Holidayshopping · 05/12/2018 22:08

Is he only taking up ‘your’ space or is it affecting other people?

KonaMum · 05/12/2018 22:13

It’s messing up the whole system really. If they park all three outside the house, that’s two other people’s spaces taken up. They are often usually not parked close so take up more than one space per car IYSWIM? Our NDN the other side is VERY elderly (and almost definitely shouldn’t be driving but that’s a whole separate can of worms) so I feel I could never park in her space as it would cause her real issues which leaves us very limited.

OP posts:
WillChellam · 05/12/2018 22:17

You can only ask them.

Of course you don't generally 'own' the piece of road outside your house, so they are just as entitled to park there as you are.

If they continue, just be sure to repay the favor - refuse to accept parcels on their behalf, bring their bins in and so forth.

M0reGinPlease · 05/12/2018 22:17

I have a large driveway and I still get the fucking rage when people park on the road outside my house then go and visit someone three doors away. WHY NOT PARK OUTSIDE THE SODDING HOUSE YOU'RE VISITING?!

Anyway, back to your situation OP. Parking situations are always fraught. I'd politely ask them to fuck off please not park outside your house in future. Or what PP said about getting your neighbour to do his thing.

BackforGood · 05/12/2018 23:07

Just go and speak to them.
As has been already said, the worst that can happen is they don't give a monkey's about neighbourly relations and you are no worse off.

Greatorb · 05/12/2018 23:26

First thing you need to find out is whether you own the road or not.

KonaMum · 06/12/2018 00:57

Clearly not @greatorb but a little neighbourly consideration goes a long way.

OP posts:
Ubertasha2 · 06/12/2018 01:22

Sorry OP, but I agree with greatorb. Lovely to park outside your own home, but it’s a privilege and not a right and all that.

My horrid old neighbours (who had a perfectly adequate drive) imsisted on parking on ‘their’ bit of road and when someone else did they left the driver a note with something like “Please don’t park here in future. Disabled person living here and requiring this space 24 hours a day”.

When the car owner returned I assured them that there wasn’t a single disabled person living there- only my globe-trotting, sky-diving, gym bunny neighbours- and to park away!

Ubertasha2 · 06/12/2018 01:22
  • insisted- bloody autocorrect failure
Bahhhhhumbug · 06/12/2018 01:50

We have a double fronted house and three cars and we park one on the drive the other two either side of our driveway on the road - so all in front of our house basically. The neighbouring business often parks in front of one side to keep their forecourt free for customers if he gets half a chance. Can't explain why but gives me the rage and me and dh often shuffle our cars round to stop him if one of us is going out.
But having said that l doing think people with DC should get priority over spaces in front of their house, it's enough that they are given all the prime spaces nearest the store in supermarket car parks.,so lets not make it the same on public roads too.

RamblinRosie · 06/12/2018 02:11

Where I live, there seems to be an unspoken rule that you don’t park in front of houses where they have young children, all other spaces are fair game.

I follow the rule, but sometimes grump (to myself) when I feel like I’ve had to park in the next county!

Lauren83 · 06/12/2018 05:59

I'm getting similar rage over my neighbour although she is only taking one space up! We live in row of 4 town houses and 3 houses have 2 cars and 1 just has 1 (there's a drive to side of the houses so the second cars get put there) you can just about squeeze all 4 cars at the front if you are careful but it's tight and if the outside 2 are home first the middle 2 can't both get in and I'm one of the middle ones, the neighbour next to me who has a space at the end of the row doesn't have to worry about getting in and out and she is never stuck between 2 cars but if she beats me home she doesn't leave me enough room to get in or if I beat her home she parks so far up my arse she is nearly touching my car, what annoys me is she leaves room at the back of her car so she could easily park much further back. I have a baby and I'm pregnant so it's really hard getting the pram in and out the boot with her giving me no space and I do really want to try to park outside the house as it makes it so much easier (I know I have no legal right to and no priority)

Anyway... I'm just silently seething up to know and needed to rant and I know I need to just knock on and ask her to park further back as us middle ones can't both park unless she does but I can't quiet bring myself to do it I don't know why! I was hoping she would just realise herself without me having to. Writing this will hopefully make me do it!